By Brandie Kessler
bkessler@pottsmerc.com

POTTSTOWN — Bonnie Goodhart’s life has been forever changed by cancer, but she is absolutely adamant that the disease will never, ever stop her from dancing.
“My feet don’t work anymore, but I’m gonna dance,” she said strongly. “I promise you, I’m gonna dance in my heart.”
The cancer that Goodhart was diagnosed with on Christmas Eve 2003 is CLL, which stands for chronic lymphocytic or chronic lymphoblastic leukemia. It is a type of blood cancer in which a lymphocyte, which fights infection, gets damaged and begins growing out of control.
Goodhart discovered there was something wrong when she felt a lump in her neck. She recalled going to a class reunion and perspiring when she danced. She said she’d never before sweated like she did dancing that night. She went to the doctor.
Since being diagnosed, Goodhart has been through a gamut of treatments.
By her side through it all has been her husband, Jim. “Thank God he deals with me,” she said smiling.
Goodhart has come to terms with the possibility that cancer may one day be what ends her life. “I don’t have a curable cancer,” Goodhart said.
However, “everybody has a journey to death,” she said. “Cancer is not ‘the Big C.’ It certainly is not bigger than my God.
“I know unless God performs some kind of miracle that I’m going to die from cancer,” Goodhart said. “Realistically, I’m probably going to die from this. My point to that is I’m not going to quit. I’ve got my dogs, my grandkids, my family, the cancer center” and more to live for.
When asking Goodhart to relate her experiences with cancer, she can’t help but talk of others who have suffered and fought the disease alongside her — people who she looks at as figures of strength who give her the hope that she can be as strong as they were.
Dorice Lessard, 38, a dear friend of Goodhart’s, died last year after battling breast cancer.
“It was relentless,” Goodhart said of the cancer Lessard suffered. “I’d look at her and think, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’” when you say her cancer is so tough.
Goodhart recalled accompanying Lessard to her chemotherapy treatments, and watching as her friend would smile through the discomfort, nausea and vomiting.
“I would say, ‘Dorice, you smile through everything,’” Goodhart recalled.
“There’s something about chemotherapy that binds people. Those two soldiers in there,” Goodhart said, “we’re fighting a war.”
Lessard would tell Goodhart to keep getting through what she was going through to get to the other side. Keep dancing. Believe.
“That’s what it’s about. Cancer is not bigger than God and that’s why it’s not bigger than me,” Goodhart said.
“It’s not just believing that I’m going to get a miracle, it’s believing that I will have the strength to get through this.”
That’s not to say Goodhart isn’t afraid sometimes or that she doesn’t feel down. When she first learned of her diagnosis all she could think about was her family, her grandchildren and her faith.
Could she live without watching her family grow?
But it was the fight in others that inspired her.
Recalling memories of her mother, “the most wonderful person,” and how her mother suffered from a debilitating disease that left her trapped in her own body, Goodhart said, “If she could get through it, I could get through anything.”
She speaks with passion about her ability to beat the cancer, no matter what.
“This foreign invader came into my life ... Even if I go down from it, I win,” she said. “I want every cancer patient to know they have the strength to win.”
Goodhart said that her friend and the people who she sees going for treatment at Pottstown Memorial Regional Cancer Center are what keep her going.
“That’s where my heart is, that cancer center,” she said.
Goodhart remains hopeful that there will be a cure for cancer one day. She is also looking into whether she may be eligible for a stem cell transplant to help her in her battle with the disease.
She said the Relay for Life is something she wishes everyone could see and feel firsthand.
“If I were able to give you that moment and allow you to feel it when you hear your name and see those balloons” during the cancer survivor lap of Relay. ..
“There’s a unity at Relay that I wish the world could experience.”