The Dude and the Tree

The past few Christmases, my wife and I did not bother putting up a tree. Not because we weren’t feeling festive, but because we happened to be vacationing during the previous holiday seasons. Couple this with the fact that my lovely wife is allergic to pine trees, and you can see that it really wasn’t worth the bother. This year, my mother-in-law donated her six-foot something tall artificial tree to us, as we would be home for the Holidays. My wife set it up and decorated it very tastefully, as is her way.

Even though I enjoyed the addition of the faux fir, I was concerned with how our cat and dog would react to it. In my previous experience with this issue, I have known cats to break ornaments, or attempt to climb to the tree’s peak and look up the dress of the lighted angel.

Our cat, Rudy, proved me wrong. Apparently the tree triggered something genetic in The Dude, and he began channeling his ancient North African ancestors. Everyday since its erection, the cat has kept stone-faced sentry in front of the tree, like some guardian Sphinx. As far as I could tell, he did no harm to it. In fact, we only know of him actually touching it one time. When my wife did not make her way to his food bowl fast enough, Rudy rang one of the bells hanging on the low branches to get her attention. As for the dog, Zeus, he pretty much just made a habit of sniffing the tree, and facing the repercussions for these actions from my wife.

As for me, I was a little concerned Rudy would be heartbroken when we took the tree down for the year.

Before we could get the chance to explore the consequences of tree removal, Zeus violated the tree with a healthy stream of urine (no BPH for him). Obviously, my wife was more than a little displeased; more interestingly though, the cat decided to ambush the infidel jackal of a Boston Terrier for the performance of his dirty deed. The cat came out swinging combinations like Leon Sphinx, and chased the dog into hiding. Actually, it was the roar of my wife that sent the dog into hiding, but let us not deflate the cat’s ego. Even so, Zeus is lucky Rudy was missing his front claws when we got him.

I’m still debating if setting up a tree is worth the hassle next year, but I do know it’s worth the entertainment.

Situational Awareness

Recently, The Daily Local News has run a great series of articles bringing the poverty that exists in our county to light. I used to work in the trenches, but I have to admit that I’ve been insulated from these problems for the past couple of years. As my comfort level has increased, I’ve lost sight of what’s really happening around me. What’s happening to our county and country is gentrification, and a broadening gap between the haves and the have-nots. It’s just like flying: the higher you go, the smaller everything below you seems.

Unfortunately, I don’t a solution to a problem this broad. I suppose all that I can do is perform my small part, and help where I can, just like everyone else. I appreciate what I have been able to earn and what I have been given; I just need to find ways to return the favor and help lift others up. Hopefully, these articles have stimulated similar thoughts in other residents. If we all do a little, we can do a lot.

China

For Christmas, I received one of those remote controlled helicopters you can use indoors. I was amazed at its use of miniaturization and infrared guidance control, even if I couldn’t get the darn thing to submit to my will. All in all, it is a great gift, and I’m sure it will be lots of fun once I get it figured out. Best of all, my cat enjoyed it too.

Like most things of its ilk, the toy is made in China. This fact sent my mind wandering, and not for the typical worries about what paint they used. The miniaturization and guidance system is what scares me, even if the toy was designed somewhere else. The reason that you should be scared too is that China, the largest holder of American bonds and the most populous nation in the world, is closing the technological gap. These advances translate to smart weapons as well as they do toys, especially with help from a money hungry Russian weapons industry.

Couple this with the fact that China is less concerned about the nature of their bedfellows than the West, and has no ideological hang-ups about selling weapons to nations like Iran. Especially when those nations have the natural resources the Chinese crave. Not to mention the fact that China seems to be becoming less isolated and more willing to impose its will in international affairs.

It’s time we push for equal trade status with China. If we can’t undermine their culture with fast-food restaurants and amusement parks, it’s time for us to import less plastic dog toys with squeakers!

Enjoy your paranoia for the New Year!

Happy Holidays!

I would like to use this post to wish all of my regular readers, and anyone who just happen to stumble across this blog, Happy Holidays and a healthy and prosperous New Year!

White Christmas

Well, I just checked the weather forecast and it looks like we’ll be missing out on a white Christmas again. The 23rd will be almost as balmy as some of the weather a friend of mine will be enjoying in Florida, or almost as good as the times I’ve spent the holiday in the American Southwest. Something can be said for mild weather during the Holidays!

Unless you’re lucky enough to stay home, almost everyone has to be somewhere else over Christmas. So look on the bright side; the snow would only cause traffic problems and airport snafus! Worse yet, I have to drive into work on Christmas Day in a very tuned rear-wheel drive car. Pity me!

The Christmases with mild weather were some of the most enjoyable for me when I was a kid. I could go out and play with all of my new toys, without the need to bundle up in all those new Christmas threads. Even better, it was a perfect day to play army and hide-and-go-seek with all of my cousins, and less time indoors with my wicked step-grandmother, and her ice-tea of doom!

The only time it was a bummer, is when Santa had a new sled under the tree for me. That was a guarantee for a snow-free winter!

Bam

It seems that the third most popular editorial item in the Daily Local News is whether or not approval will be granted for the opening of a new bar in West Chester that, at least in name, local celebrity Bam Magera is a part of. At least from what I have read, the reception has been rather negative. I would gather that it is a case of NIMBY (Not In My Backyard), as opposed to angst specifically directed at Mr. Magera. Even though I am no longer a resident of West Chester, I can certainly understand the anxiety people living near the proposed location would have.

As is typical of me, I would like you to see the issue from another point of view. Well, to be honest, my point of view. However your feelings towards Bam run, you have to remember he is OUR celebrity, and from what I can see, he has had no problem remembering our area in his projects and ideas. Like it or not, we’re like PB&J.

Remember that Bam is a celebrity of Generations X and Y. Now that the Boomers are retiring, it is these generations that will be making all of the big business decisions in the not to distant future. Why not keep West Chester on the map, and add to its appeal as a place to move your business, or shoot your films? Talk about positive economic growth!

Chester County is no longer a secret, and nobody will be able to completely stop its growth. Even so, we do have the power to choose the directions we head.

Viva La Bam!

It’s a Conspiracy!

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed a lot of letters to the editor in the Daily Local News have focused on gasoline and fuel oil prices, and rightfully so. The price increases put a lot of stress on our residents, especially at a time like Christmas, when everyone’s budget seems to be at its tightest. Even though it is a serious matter, I do revel in the conspiracy theories that pop-up around the subject. They tend to add a little bit of levity to an otherwise dim discussion, and the more outlandish they are, the better.

The best are the ideas that automobile manufacturers and oil companies are colluding to buy up patents on tires that last forever, cars that get hundreds of miles to the gallon, etc. Don’t you think this would have been exposed by now in our media driven society? Even so, there may be a grain of truth in there. Just consider the amazing technological advances we’ve had in the last twenty years: MP3 players that can hold my entire CD collection, cars that park themselves and GPS based smart munitions that can take out a terrorist sitting on a crapper in Afghanistan. All of this and you’re telling me we don’t have a viable hydrogen fueled car on the market?

Now, I know it is very hypocritical for someone who drives a dinosaur, or to steal a line from Jesse Ventura in the movie Predator, “…a sexual tyrannosaurus,” that has no emissions controls and gets about ten miles to the gallon to stand on a soap box and preach. Sometimes, I think I’m only second to a Chinese toy factory in my negative environmental impact. Even so, I feel I need to add my $3.05.

We’re in this mess because of our choices, and the choices of previous generations of Americans. It would be easy to be an armchair quarterback and condemn our predecessors, but that’s not going to arrive at any kind of solution, and remember that they were reasonable choices when they were made. We’re paying for our reliance on the automobile and our failure to develop an adequate public transportation system.

Note to politicians: Build it, make it affordable and convenient, and we will use it. It will be painful at first, but if we want to have a bright future, we need to plan for it.

“Desperate and ravenous, so weak and powerless over you.” –from the song “Weak and Powerless” written and performed by A Perfect Circle.

In Reverse

Today, I was pondering role reversals and changes in relationships. I’m sure you understand the concept; like when the student becomes the teacher, etc. Specifically, I was thinking about my observations on the relationships of parents and children, and that of couples. It seems like the change in calendar years and seasons has the same effect on me that death does; it starts my mind working on weighty issues.

My wife and I are a great example of this paradox. Before we got married, I was the one that had anxiety about keeping a clean house, and knew how to get the job done. Now, she is the one cleaning the house in the late evening hours, just like I used to do. As for me, I seem to have developed a keen ability to ignore filth that’s comparable to Stalag 13’s Sgt. Schultz’s ability to ignore P.O.W. infractions in lieu of pastry based bribes. “Strudel…I see nothing!”

You can also recognize it in the way that I worry about my parents as much as they have always worried about me. Also, there is the fact they ask my opinion on things of significance now, instead of mundane things like which flavor of ice cream I want. Now, I get to take them out to dinner, and the best part is: they have to go to the place I choose!

Blue Christmas

The quest is over! My wife managed to find the blue LED Christmas lights I was craving! I promptly strung them across the front of our home, and put the green LEDs I had previously purchased in the window. Now our home looks like a picturesque view of Chester County Airport at night. Mission accomplished; considering the fact that the objective was to look different from everyone else’s displays!

This is one of the first years we will be home for the holidays. In previous years, our crowded schedules made Christmas an ideal time for travel, and we often found ourselves in the American Southwest. I will miss it, but something can be said for not having to endure the turmoil of modern air travel.

Now if I could just get someone to buy that car, I would have to hunt for something to complain about!

You're a Mean One..........

I think the early cold snap and snowstorm will help spark the holiday season. At least that may counteract the negative effects it had on the daily commute!

Speaking of Christmas, I’m proud to say my shopping is done. The only thing left is the wrapping, which I am far from proficient at. Hell, I’m not very good at anything that requires neatness, or mechanical dexterity and aptitude, which makes me the polar opposite of my beloved father (I’m sure he’d concur). Sometimes, I think my brain just moves a lot faster than my hands can!

Anyway, I was feeling pretty festive last weekend and decided to surprise my wife with some new outdoor Christmas lights when she arrived home from out-of-town. Apparently, the Grinch had decided to foil my plans! I went to five stores attempting to buy two sets of the new LED lights in any shade of blue. After meeting my frustration quota, I only managed to come home with only one set of green ones! I suppose I’ll have to get them next September when they roll the Christmas junk out again!

Whine and Cheese Steaks

Once again, we have to endure another disappointing season by the Philadelphia Eagles. I suppose it is better to know where they stand early in the season, as opposed to waiting for the letdown to come in the second round of the play-offs.

Is this the end of the McNabb era?

I kind of hope it is. McNabb’s act has become very tiresome. You know the routine by heart: hurt feelings over the post-season, an editorial rant by at least one of his overbearing parents, and at least one significant injury.

It seems like Eric Lindros never really left town.

New Ladders to Climb

I’m happy to report that another career opportunity has finally knocked on my door. It’s certainly not my end-all-be-all, but who’s to say I’ll ever find that? Maybe the search is the meaning, Jedi.

There’s nothing like the anticipation of starting a new job, especially when it is a considerable change. I’d compare it to young love…a lot of nerves, confusion, and clumsy fondling on the part of both parties. Even so, it’s an excitement that needs to be experienced! Even if it usually does end in heartbreak!