Help Fight BRS

Friends, I have found another problem I need to address. It is an illness that can affect anyone of any sex, race, religion, or creed that is above sixteen years of age. Even so, people of the upper-middle class seem to suffer most. The terrible plague that has befallen us is known as BRS, and its victims are many.

BRS is the acronym for Big Rig Syndrome. This infirmity is suffered by people who, for whatever reason, purchase and drive vehicles far too large for themselves. It could be because of ego, peer-pressure, or simple ignorance; the reasoning does not matter nearly as much as the results. Aside from the environmental issues (for which I can’t rightfully throw any stones), there are more practical concerns.

These people are a menace on the roadways. They constantly weave into opposing traffic, have near misses, and drive too fast a for road conditions which is due to a false sense of security provided by four-wheel drive and extra sheet metal. The worst is when they try to make turns into driveways, or at intersections. Sweet Jesus, you’d think they’re driving one of those old fashioned tractor and tiller fire trucks, or trying to put the QE2 into dry-dock. They have to come to a complete stop first, and then attempt to negotiate a turn most of us could handle in excess of twenty-five miles per hour. Hell, that’s IF they’re not on their cell phone!

For the safety of everyone and the sanity of myself: you know damn right and well its too big for you to handle safely, so trade it in on something smaller!