Fantasy Football Gone Wild

The curse of Peyton Manning...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 02:41:00 +0000

I mentioned in a previous blog that no owner in our league has ever won with Peyton Manning, since Manning burst on to the scene in 1999. Manning has never guided a FFB team to the finals in our league, despite his remarkable career.

Manning holds NFL records for consecutive years with over 4,000 yards passing, as well as most total NFL seasons with 4,000 plus yards passing. But, he remains a curse to anyone who proudly strolls out of our annual draft with Manning in toe.

This year, the team who drafted Manning is 3-6 and will surely end with a similar fate. Five QB’s have outperformed Manning. QB’s Jay Cutler, Kurt Warner, Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, and Aaron Rodgers have all done better. Only Drew Brees was drafted early out of that bunch. Manning is only two points ahead of RB Clinton Portis, the first non-QB top performer in our league.

Not once has Peyton Manning put up more than 30 weekly FFB points this year. The other five aforementioned QB’s have managed that 15 times combined. Six times they have posted over 35 points. The Manning curse continues in 2008.

Many owners in our PPR league this year went top heavy with WR’s in the draft. The feeling was that WR’s have caught up with RB’s in value, in recent years. Not so fast. In our league, 11 RB’s have outperformed the first WR on the list, Anquan Boldin. Only then does it begin to balance out. That is a notable trend, and one that this writer predicted pre-season. RB’s Clinton Portis, Marion Barber, Matt Forte, Frank Gore, Chris Johnson, Adrian Peterson, Steve Slaton, Brian Westbrook, Michael Turner, LaDanian Tomlinson, and Ronnie Brown have all outscored the first WR. Three of them are NFL rookies.

WR Reggie Wayne is #63 on the top performers list. You must go to #74 on that list to locate Terrell Owens, and to #84 to locate Randy Moss. It really has been the year of the mid-round quarterback…

I voted for PALIN/Mccain in my other league...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:43:00 +0000

“I’m shocked, I’m devastated, I’m humiliated, I’m battered.”
In my other league, I voted for PALIN/ McCain. Sarah Palin so excited my base. She was the beam of light in my tired, worn-out, generally negative, infantile, past century Grand Old Party. Where can I go now? Where have all the flowers gone? There’s nobody left in New England. No Tom Brady, no Randy Moss, no Red Sox, no Yankees, no senators, no representatives. What century can I dwell in now?
I only see a mountain of debt. I only see a constant bread line for major companies, for financials. Didn’t our president tell us it was just a few “dark economic clouds in the sky?” Didn’t McCain tell us that the “fundamentals of the economy are sound?" I only knew how to stay within the lines in my other league. I never knew how to venture outside the lines. I remember that movie…’The Village’…
I always voted for fear over hope in my other league. I understand fear. ‘Hope’ is too fearful of a word. I’m afraid of hope in that league. I proudly voted for fear twice. It’s all I know. I’m too set in my ways to ever change. They are all making fun of me now in my other league. I’ve never won in my other league. The stock market keeps dropping in my other league. How can so many voters be so wrong? Can’t they see what they just did?

I might have to uproot to Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, or Texas to play FFB now. In the red-state South, they will eat all the tired old red meat that I like to swallow. They aren’t vegetarians or silly vegans, like up in the Northeast.

I’m not doing well in my other league right now. I’m so grateful for this league, though. I helped elect Barack Obama in this league. It feels fresh, it feels healthier in this league. I won the trophy last year in this league. I’m 6-3 and in second place in this league. I think I’ll be just fine in this league. I might just quit that other league.

Singletary in San Francisco...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 23:29:00 +0000

The nine game interim head coach audition began last week for Mike Singletary in San Francisco. I’m following this because I followed Singletary’s entire career. Drafted by the Chicago Bears out of Baylor in 1981, he was soon nicknamed ‘Samauri Mike. Singletary became the intimidating and intense force behind the dominating 1980’s Bears’ defense. Television cameras would zoom in on those ’Samauri’ eyes behind his helmet. Analysts would comment on those piercing , focused , driven eyes. 12 years and 172 games later, he became Hall of Fame Mike Singletary. He became motivational speaker Mike Singletary.
I saw those same eyes in that press conference after last Sunday’s 49’er loss to Seattle. This was San Francisco’s fourth straight loss, and they keep getting uglier. Those eyes can only make decisions now. That drive, that intensity, that passion, that warrior grit, is woven into the fabric of just a few.
Mike Singletary is that kind of coach who would test a player’s metal by putting the player in a room with a fly swatter, a sledge hammer, and a fly. He wouldn’t want the player who would kill the fly with one flip of the fly swatter. The player who busted up the room with the sledge hammer, trying to kill that fly, would be Singletary’s kind of guy.
Singletary is only the second defensive Hall of Famer to ever become a head coach in the NFL. That is amazing in itself. 21 Hall of Fame players have become head coaches in the NFL. Their combined record is under .500. Mike Ditka’s 121-95 overall record is by far the best. Singletary helped Ditka to that success.
“ I’m not looking to re-invent the wheel, “ Singletary offered the media , his first day on the job, “ but expectations will be high.”
Most sports have demonstrated that, with few exceptions, the elite on the field don’t have enduring coaching careers. I will put Mike Singletary in that mix. He has thrown TE Vernon Davis and QB J.T. O’Sullivan directly to the doghouse, or was it the S.P.C.A.? Publicly, to the media..
Bill Walsh, the master motivator who turned the sickly 49er’s organization around in the 1980’s, never sacrificed his lambs in public. He had Joe Montana, and later, Jerry Rice .RB Frank Gore won’t get it done by himself. I will follow these next eight games with interest. I don’t think it will be pretty.

I was about to submit my FFB lineup..

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:29:00 +0000

I was about to submit my weekly starting lineup on my FFB web site today, when my phone rang. So, I answered it. It was one of those seemingly endless political robocalls. ‘Robocall’ is a word that never existed in my brain until this 2008 endless political season. It is indelibly ingrained there now.

This phone call happened to be from the McCain/Palin campaign. It informed me of a clandestine, terrorist web that Barack Obama became entangled with when he was just 8 years old. It involved Terrorist Weather Underground co-founder William Ayers. Ayers had flown little 8 year-old Barack, from his home in Hawaii, to help the Weather Underground plot the explosive demise of several landmark buildings. Also, in that meeting, was a little baby-faced girl named Michele Robinson, the robocall continued. Little Michele had volunteered to become the first young lady suicide bomber.

Little Barack, little Michele and William Ayers plotted to blow up the Pentagon, Pearl Harbor, the Waikiki Hilton, the Empire State Building, the Inquirer Building, Franklin Field, the Liberty Bell, Geno’s Steaks, Pat’s Steaks, the Norristown Art Theater, Brandywine Race Track, and the Troc Burlesque Theater.

Most of the Weather Underground were killed when a nail bomb they were assembling for their nefarious plans, blew up in their faces. Little Barack, little Michele, and William Ayers survived that blast. William Ayers disappeared, little Michele remained in Chicago, and little Barack found his way back home to Hawaii.

Many years later, the robocall concluded, Barack, Michele, and William resurfaced in a living room in Chicago. Obama married Michele and they plotted to run for President and blow up the White House.

This robo phone call really got me to thinking….I’m more confused than ever now. Should I start QB Kurt Warner on American soil this Sunday, or should I go with Philip Rivers across the pond in London, England.? How come I have so many byes this week? Should I dare start WR Roddy White vs. the Philadelphia Eagles? I absolutely have to pick up a kicker. Is WR Chris Chambers still injured this week? Is my 5-2 record good enough to get into the playoffs?

I’ll be so glad when these political campaigns are finally over….

Oh, Oh! My phone is ringing again… OMG! It’s Joe the plumber!

England loves the NFL

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:07:00 +0000

Wembley Stadium in London, England will host the second ever regular season game outside of the U.S. Last year, a sold-out crowd of over 81,000 saw the New York Giants hold off the winless Miami Dolphins 13-10 in the London rain. Both teams struggled offensively in the foggy, slippery conditions.

Giants QB Eli Manning became the answer to the trivia question…Who scored the first regular-season NFL TD ever outside the U.S. ? Manning’s scramble to the corner of the end zone, just before half time, made NFL trivia history. Try that one out at your barber shop.

This year, the San Diego Chargers and the New Orleans Saints prepare to battle before another sellout. Wembley Stadium turnstiles open at 3PM London time, with kickoff set for 5PM. For FFB teams that include players from the Saints or Chargers, that will still mean a 1PM Sunday start here on the east coast. London time is 5 hours ahead of EST, but the British are set to turn their clocks back one hour Saturday Night.

Wembley Stadium bills itself as the ‘largest roof covered seating capacity in the world.’ That got me to thinking, why did the Giants and Miami play in total rainy slop in 2007 ? So, I went to FAQ’s in the terrific Wembley Stadium web site. The seats are all under cover in the event of rain, but the playing surface is always uncovered, allowing for maximum sunlight. There’s not much of that in England. This is to grow the natural grass. There are no artificial surfaces in International ‘football’ ( soccer).

A 30% chance of rain is forecast for London on Sunday. But, the feeling here is a shootout for all British NFL loyalists to enjoy. BBC and Sky Sports will be broadcasting this interesting match-up of former QB team mates, Philip Rivers and Drew Brees. San Diego Chargers G.M. A.J. Smith all but offered Brees his walking papers when the team drafted Philip Rivers. Brees will want to prove something. I look for an ambitious passing attack from both teams in ‘jolly old England’. As Philip Rivers and LaDanian Tomlinson offered the British press, “ This game will really have a college feel to it. Everybody is excited about us being here. We just don’t have a clue who they are going to cheer for. But, everything and everyone have been first class!

This will be an intriguing game from a FFB perspective. I have Philip Rivers, Chris Chambers and the Saints kicker, Taylor Mehlhaff. Will Chris Chambers grab a TD in England? He’s still banged up, so it appears Malcolm Floyd, Antonio Gates, and Vincent Jackson will do the most damage. LaDanian Tomlinson is a mere mortal now. Reggie Bush is out, and Deuce McCallister might as well stay in England. He faces steroid cover-up charges and a mandatory 4-game suspension upon his return from across the pond. The Saints backfield is in free fall, and that should not bode well for Drew Brees. Reggie Bush was under many of his dump-offs and turned them into serious FFB points. Drew Brees is going to take a hit.

Urban monster legends get NFL tryouts...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 20:03:00 +0000

We're hearing rumors that some dominating creatures, some legendary urban monsters might be unveiled all over the NFL next week. Our sources have focused in on some season-changing, beast-like prospects that should be available on the FFB waiver wires next week. All, apparently, have had recent NFL tryouts.

MOMO....similar to Bigfoot, reportedly seen in Missouri along the banks of the Mississippi River. Momo has a large pumpkin-shaped head. The St. Louis Rams have invited it to camp to offer Steven Jackson a blow. Momo could turn the Rams fortune around in a hurry!

THE MONTAUK MONSTER...a sea creature observed on the beach of Montauk, this instant internet sensation is being trained to dominate and replace Ricky Williams in the Miami backfield.. Ronnie Brown and the Montauk Monster should be unstoppable…

THE HONEY ISLAND SWAMP MONSTER.. The frisky Louisiana swamp sensation, described as 7' tall, with silvery gray hair and neon yellow eyes, has four toes and can bench press up to 800 lbs...The Saints are optimistic about it replacing Marques Colston...

OLD GREENY...Observed in New York's scenic Cayusa lake, approx. 12-15 feet in length, this legendary urban monster with a hot temper is in the New York Giants camp to replace Plaxico Burress. .It could see immediate and impressive action this Sunday.. No truth to the rumor that Old Greeny has pending waterfront domestic violence issues…

ORANGE EYES...11' tall, this elusive 1,000 lb. bigfoot clocked a 2.7 40 in the NFL combine before freaking out and disappearing into the wild. Reportedly, owner Al Davis located it and has signed Orange Eyes to a long-term ‘Raider Nation ‘contract..

SOUTH CAROLINA LIZARD MAN....Discovered by a Carolina Panthers scout in the Scape Ore Swamp, this 7' tall free agent with abrasive, green scaly skin and glowing red eyes should make an immediate impact on the Carolina Defense...take it off your bench…

OKLAHOMA OCTOPUS...recovered from lake Thunderbird in Oklahoma, the size of a Triple Crown horse, it reportedly has terrific suction cup, feeler hands. It could adequately replace Houston Texan’s lost WR Andre Johnson.

THE WINSTED WILD MAN...Rescued from the wild by the New England Patriots, this Winsted, Connecticut monstrosity remarkably resembles Randy Moss. The 8- footer with a huge wing span, is being frantically groomed to replace the missing Patriot WR...

We see a bright future on the FFB waiver wires…

O. J. Simpson gets one last gridiron shot...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 19:25:00 +0000

Las Vegas ( Oct. 3) Crime News...Thirteen years to the day after being acquitted of bludgeoning his wife and Ron Goldman to death, OJ Simpson was found guilty of all armed robbery counts today. The judge in this case, Jackie Glass, however, made one disturbing final ruling before Simpson was carted off to jail..
" We are going to allow the "Juice" to run one final time for the Buffalo Bills this Sunday vs. the Arizona Cardinals. We understand that he was once a hero of Bills head coach Dick Jauron . Buffalo’s current starting RB Marshawn Lynch will approach the bench.”
" This is an awesome chain of events," Dick Jauron blushed..".He was flat out my hero at USC..I have programs, newspaper clips, OJ football cards, memorabilia. I used to run through airports with him. I'll dust off my Dingo boots, made of soft Corinthian leather. Myself and our offensive coordinator Turk Schonert are elated to have OJ with us in Glendale, Arizona. We have no problem benching RB Marshawn Lynch. Marshawn couldn't carry OJ's jock strap. Even 61 years old, in hand cuffs and heavy ankle irons, we can foresee 275 yards and 4 TD's behind our massive 2008 Buffalo Bills offensive line. After playing in Arizona, maybe the "Juice" can try to escape into Mexico. Our offensive linemen Demetrius Bell, Kirk Chambers, Jason Peters, Derrick Dockery, and Center Melvin Fowler are looking forward to this unique opportunity. We are worried, though, when OJ doesn’t have the Bills offensive line to protect him in the general prison population. We’re anxious that he might get cut and slashed, just like he’s going to cut and slash his way between the lines at University of Phoenix football field Sunday. Just to have O J in the Buffalo backfield, one final time, is a dream come true. It will be great to see that retired #32 jersey on the loose again.”
TV announcers for this 4:15 PM contest will include Kato Kalin, Denise Brown, and Fred Goldman.

Meanwhile, outside of the courtroom in Vegas, the Cardinals, once a one-point favorite, are now a 6 ½ point underdog.

The year of the late-round quarterback gem...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 21:54:00 +0000

Week four is upon us. Most FFB leagues have already separated the contenders from the bottom feeders. That dynamic has shaken out in my league. Astonishingly, 169 FFB points now separate first place from our cellar dweller in only three weeks. Many coaches have already hit the panic button. 2007 studs like WR Randy Moss, Braylon Edwards, Carson Palmer, Chad Ocho Cinco have all ‘cinco’d’ to fire sale status. Some teams need a drastic overhaul, like Wall Street. At least when you are winning, like my 3-0 squad is doing, it somewhat soothes the grave national economic issues that keep coming at us. I guess that’s why we all endure this game. The escape.
2008 will be considered the year of the later-round QB gem! QB’s Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, Matt Hasselbeck, Jon Kitna, Ben Rothlisberger, Derek Anderson, Jake Delhomme, Vince Young, $60 million bench warmer Marc Bulger, and David Garrard, may have already blown it for their ill-fated owners. Those QB’s were all drafted ahead of mid- to- late round finds Jay Cutler, Aaron Rogers, Philip Rivers, and old man Kurt Warner. I happen to have those aforementioned last two on my team, and loving every Sunday so far. Even Peyton Manning has not lived up to his first round status. Manning was never on the roster of our league winner, in a decade. Amazing, but true.. Tony Romo, Donovan McNabb, and Drew Brees are the only QB’s left that are performing to their selection. Those late round QB’s are defining the haves and the have not’s in a hurry. Those who grabbed these late-round gems have much more team balance. It shows up every week.
If you read my very first blog, I mentioned the two vital and crucial elements to capturing your league trophy. 1) You must work diligently and relentlessly just to get to 2) BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEPING LUCK!). It is the one constant in FFB. Although, in most leagues, there is always dead money no matter what.
This week, there seems to be more help on the waiver wire than last. Tampa Bay’s Brian Griese fired up 67 passes last week for 407 yards. Griese gets the Green Bay Packers this week at home. Baywatch WR’s Antonio Bryant and Ike Hilliard should fly under some of those Griese bombs. Toss Bucs TE Jerramy Stevens into that mix, having grabbed 5 passes for 51 yards and a TD last week. That’s a solid haul for a TE this year. Remember, not so long ago, when tight ends really mattered?
Rams new QB Trent Green is a warm body for a bye week, but that ailing Rams offense is a sloppy mess. Look for Buffalo’s WR James Hardy to grab some action vs. those downtrodden Lambs. Buffalo and Trent Edwards should roll the Rams.
Eagles RB Correll Buckhalter will fill in nicely for a RB-challenged roster. He’ll play a bigger role vs. the Bears with Brian Westbrook nicked up. Think about Cleveland QB Brady Quinn as a slick pick-up. Derek Anderson looks like a deer in the headlights, after signing that huge contract. Besides, we’re needing a new Brady to represent in the NFL.. San Francisco’s QB J.T. O’Sullivan was picked up last week in our league, but he may be available in yours. It should be a shoot out in New Orleans. The Saints are wiped out on defense.
Good luck to all of you in your battles this weekend. Who knows what Monday may bring? In more ways than one. Our transactions may free-fall to a nickel next week.

FFB player recalls last Great Depression...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:15:00 +0000

Recently, ESPN’S ’Outside The Lines’ contacted a man named ’Pops” Bundy from Fargo, North Dakota. Bundy is 98 years young, and claims to have actually played FFB during the last Great Depression.
“Sure we played FFB, Bundy told ESPN. What else was there to do?. There was no television, no computers, no alcohol, no speakeasy’s, we couldn’t afford a fishing rod, Charlie Chaplin movies sucked. We peddled apples all week on the streets just to defray our 3-cent transactions. In the Great Depression we had to walk 8 miles, uphill both ways, to our Commish's tenement, just to give him our waivers and transactions. Sometimes, barefoot in the snow.
I remember we had this one team who never stopped griping about the harsh times. You can't ever get that stuff out of your head. 1929 was a good year in FFB for ’Pops’ Bundy, though. We stole RB Red Grange in the first round that year, and our 12-0 Green Bay Packers hook-up of QB Red Dunn and WR Verne Lewellen was virtually unstoppable. Our Frankford Yellow Jackets Defense was legit until financial hardships ended their season early.
But, we did ok with our Staten Island Stapletons defense/special teams pick-up after sloshing 16 miles in a Nor’easter to get them. I could have really used a rain coat that day. My FFB team was loaded. I had Pop Warner, Paddy Driscoll, Mule Wilson, Tillie Voss, Two-Bits Holman, Spin Roy, Earpe Blood, Gibby Welch, Patsy Giugliano, and an upstart rookie TE named Sarra Paylin. I battled a team named Grips of Despair, I recall. I blew by Despair when he had 5 Dayton Triangles out on a bye week, and I never looked back .
Our league was called Twelve Angry Men. It’s still called that today. The Twelve Angry Men trophy was made of cardboard. It’s all we could afford. The trophy got pretty nasty though, after 1931 winner Joe Rockbottom Heads, imbibing in some bootleg champagne, urinated in it. Rockbottom Heads had simply had enough of the Great Depression. He always wondered what was so great about it.
But, we all survived the last Great Depression, much of it thanks to our ability to escape into FFB. We just tried to shrug off the issues and have some fun. I swear I reckon my 1929 squad could put a lickin’ on the this 3-0 team I own this year. It would be close!
Those guys never had agents, they didn’t believe in bail outs…That Sarra Paylin was a great pick!”

FFB Credito....

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 01:42:00 +0000

I have to tell you all about my day. My appointment with my bank this afternoon went very badly. I tried to get a loan for my waiver transaction this week( $3) plus another loan for a pair of these stylish, new Sarah Palin eyeglasses that all the women are just crazy about ($2.99). I figured it would be a breeze, right? The loan department laughed at me. They said my $5.99 liquid request was over and above the new, tight federal guidelines. The bank said they would need my FFB team as collateral. They wanted me to prove I could pay them back. WHAAAAH? This was all new to me. Seriously, you actually have to pay them back?? For REAL?? They told me credit comes from the latin word 'credito', which means pay back. Surely they were kidding me right? 'Credito'? The bank was telling me about 'naked short selling abuses' that were closing in on them. I swear, I don't even know what that means...Are there actually naked brokers out there on Wall Street short selling without impunity? OH! BEHAVE!!
It's Saturday night now, I'm still not sure how I'm ever going to make a waiver move. The good thing is that it's all done electronically, so I won't even ever need to be responsible for paying off my $3 fee until next year's draft. I think I could actually pull this off. I could just go away after this season and never pay my debt ever. I could get a federal bail out. I could just declare waiver wire forclosure. That would really be smart, plus it's so trendy these days...

Just like my new, gorgeous Sarah Palin spectacles...($2.99)

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:54:00 +0000

Week one in the NFL sure raised some eyebrows. Nationwide suicide pools shook off losers in bunches. Like rotten grapes. If New England had gone down, suicide pools would be close to a winner. Losses to San Diego and Indy cost many a ‘wise' suicide dreamer. Gotta love all the drama! It’s just getting started! FFB is America’s best pure reality game. Patriots QB Tom Brady’s misfortune will go down as the worst FFB injury ever in week #1...POOF! 50 TDS with only 8 interceptions, gone in the first week. What will this second week bring? Hurricane Ike, sadly, will impact so many games, and too many lives. I have red thunderstorm warnings next to my whole lineup. Here is a look this week around the NFL.

Chicago at. Carolina…The Bears D laid the wood on Indy’s Joseph Addai last week, knocking him down to third tier RB status. That trend will not serve Carolina’s running back by committee well. Bears rookie Matt Forte looked like Cedric Benson’s worst nightmare. Forte is legit! Carolina gave up 2 passing TD‘s to San Diego‘s Philip Rivers last week, their fourth straight game surrendering at least two through the air. That could bring QB Kyle Orton into play if you’re desperate for a QB. And some of you are. Carolina’s QB Jake Delhomme will keep shaking off the cobwebs, especially when WR Steve Smith returns next week. He will continue to justify your selection of him. Panthers TE Dante Rosario outplayed his counterpart Antonio Gates with 7 catches for 96 yards and the game-winning TD. That’s a TE worth acquiring, but he’s questionable this week. Outside of the defenses and Matt Forte, there’s not much FFB value here. But, Carolina’s WR Muhsin Muhammed could have one huge game before Steve Smith returns. He’d like some revenge against the Bears.

Tennessee at Cincy…...Those of you who picked QB Carson Palmer as a top five QB, please form a well-behaved double line for some FFB therapy. Palmer had a dismal 35. game one passer rating, plus an interception. It could actually get worse this week. Vince Young got the headlines, but did anyone notice the Titans defense last Sunday? How about 7 sacks, 2 INT’s and a fumble recovery vs. a good Jaguars team. Will any other team hold RB’s Fred Taylor, Maurice Jones-Drew, and QB David Garrard to a combined 33 yards on the ground.? The Jags had the second best rushing offense in the league last year! That breaks down to 8.25 yards per quarter! I didn’t draft any Bengals. The stench of their pre-season was overwhelming. But, I smiled inside when they were taken off the board early. The Bengals offense, once a darling of FFB, now face a defense more formidable than last week’s Ravens. Forget about them! There’s been enough chatter about Titans QB Vince Young, so I won’t beat a dead QB, except to make one comment. Have we finally come to a place in this gadget age, that if you go out without your cell phone, it’s considered abnormal behavior?. It warrants the police? Pick up QB Kerry Collins off the waiver wire if you are thin at that position. TE Bo Scaife was more of a Vince Young favorite target, 6 catches for 105 last week. And WR Matt Jones, separated from his white powder, is now actually getting some separation in the field. I guess he wants a better appearance in court. Titans rookie RB Chris Johnson rewarded his mid-draft faithful with a sign of things to come. A solid 15 carries, 93 yards and a TD. He suffered some cramping late in the game, but should be eager to go against the Bungles.

Green Bay at Detroit…..Detroit will be much like the Bengals in wins and losses, but they do have FFB impact. Lions QB Jon Kitna always pads his passing stats in second half comeback efforts. He has built a career out of just that. And he has the WR’s to accomplish it in Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams. Routinely, the Lions must abandon the rushing game early on. Different year, different week, same pattern. Lions and Bengals are similar breeds. Packers QB Aaron Rogers looked solid enough Monday Night. He should carve up the Lions here. RB Ryan Grant is struggling with his wheels, so that doesn’t bode well for his faithful again this week. But,then again, Atlanta’s Michael Turner laid out the Lionesses for 220 yards on 20 carries, with 2 TD’s. Most of that in the first quarter last week. Packers WR Greg Jennings scored twice vs. the Lions last year. Start him here.

Buffalo at Jacksonville…...Intriguing match-up here. The Jags got stuffed by Tennessee week one. And the Bills took Seattle’s game away early in their skirmish . RB Marshawn Lynch is always in play. He’ll have a better game here. The feeling here is that Trent Edwards will continue to progress as well. WR Lee Evans stretched the field solidly in week one. TE Robert Royal isn’t Eddie Royal, but he’s not a bad pick up...6 catches, 52 yards and a TD. He also had a solid pre-season. Buffalo’s defense won’t hurt you either. Jags QB David Garrard was sacked 7 times last week. The Bills laid 5 sacks on Seattle. I see a low scoring affair here.

Oakland at Kansas City…...The Raider nation's new era begins! QB JaMarcus Russell and RB Darren McFadden made their debut Monday Night. It wasn’t real pretty. Denver handed Oakland their helmets until the Broncos called off the dogs late in that game. Raider nation is a dismal 19-62 since 2004. McFadden was picked first among rookie RB’s in our draft, but he didn’t reward his owners like some lower-drafted rookies did. I looked for more speed to the outside. JaMarcus Russell got tougher as the game progressed, Can Chief’s RB Larry Johnson ever regain that magic he had before 2007? He’s a weekly start, and should find the end zone for his eighth straight game against the Raiders. Outside of Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson, a lot of benchwarmers here.

Indianapolis at Minnesota…...Colts QB Peyton Manning shook off some serious rust in the second half Sunday Night, but he couldn’t shake off the Bears. Can you say (0-2) boys and girls? Despite Manning’s overall FFB good performance, it sure looked laborious. Colts TE Dallas Clark went out and may not return this week. RB Joseph Addai got his bell rung. And, now they face Minnesota’s vaunted rush defense on the road. Did anyone notice that the Colts picked up RB Justin Forsett from the waiver wire? He was released by Oakland after a terrific pre-season. Keep him on your radar screen. Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne are starts this week, obviously. On the Vikings side, their offense looked sluggish vs. New England. It should be better with home cooking, but RB Adrian Peterson is really the only FFB play.

New York Giants at St. Louis….Glance upward to my Bengals assessment, then copy and paste. Bench all Rams, including the coach. RB Steven Jackson the only exception. The Giants will load the box and force Bulger to pass. To who? Torry Holt only had one catch vs. the Eagles. Look for a heavy dose of Giants RB Brandon Jacobs and WR Plaxico Burress. Burress should add a TD or two to his exemplary receiving numbers week one. The Rams surrendered 412 yards to the Eagles last week.

New Orleans at Washington…....Drew Brees must find a new WR to replace Marques Colston’s 4- 6 week hiatus. That is a tough assignment. WR Robert Meacham, who was benched by a coach’s decision should get that nod. Brees has a way of making any WR look good. I hope so because I have Meacham on my FFB squad. RB Reggie Bush was great! I got that wrong week one. But RB Pierre Thomas stole a nice mix of plays. Deuce McCallister participated fully in practice this week, so Pierre might peter out. TE Jeremy Shockey was fully involved with 6 catches for 54 yards. Brees is serving notice that he’ll go to the top of this year’s QB class. He went very early in our draft, and rewarded his proud owner with a much better debut than in 2007. The Redskins laid an egg vs. the Giants last week, spoiling the debut of coach Jim Zorn. I’m not sure Zorn ever had a day like QB Jesse Campbell in his entire Seahawk career. RB Clinton Portis needs a better game, but might lose some carries in the second half. WR Antwaan Randle El might be worth a waiver flyer. He chipped in with 7 catches and 73 yards . Washington should be airing it out after half time. Seven Saints are out for the game, though.

San Francisco at Seattle…….WANTED: fast, dependable pass receivers…must be able to elude defenders, matriculate down the field and catch a football. Iron skillet hands need not apply. Please submit your application to the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49’ers front offices. Seattle has virtually no FFB value soon. They have no receivers, which means a dramatic drop-off for QB Matt Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck was hassled all last week by the Bills, sacked 5 times. Julius Jones should do better this week, as Maurice Morris is out.. Seattle’s number one option WR Courtney Taylor last week, was targeted 9 times, dropping 2 passes and catching only two. Ditto for the 49’ers. Only Frisco’s RB Frank Gore can chew up some FFB points in this contest.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay….The new look Falcons busted out of the gate like a playoff team, under their new head coach. But, then again, it was the Detroit Lions. RB Michael ’The Burner” Turner rewarded Falcons brass faith in him by having a record all-time franchise game. I was a beneficiary of that, having grabbed Turner in the fourth round. He could be a treat all year for those who didn’t dismiss the Falcons at the draft . Turner has now averaged almost 10 yards per carry throughout the preseason and opening day. He’ll be a factor here as well. Even RB Jerious Norwood had some fun vs. the Lions silly ’D’. QB Matt Ryan looked like a seasoned pro. With that probable running attack, the Falcons WR’s should find some space as the year unfolds. But, Atlanta’s WR Roddy White has never scored a TD in 6 games vs. Tampa Bay. He’s an unwise play. Yet, if Drew Brees could lay 343 yards on Tampa Bay’s secondary, anything is possible for the talented Matt Ryan. The mood is upbeat in Atlanta, to say the least. Bucs QB Brian Griese gets the nod for the injured Jeff Garcia. RB Earnest Graham is always a steady FFB fit, but Warrick Dunn stole some carries from Graham last week. Will it be WR Joey Galloway or Antonio Bryant at the end of Griese’s passes?

Miami at Arizona...Will Hurricane Ike get to Arizona? NAH! Miami will bring the Florida sun and TE Anthony Fasano. Undrafted in our league, Fasano was QB Chad Pennington’s favorite target last week, catching 8 balls for 84 yards and a TD. Antonio Gates -like numbers. Pennington’s arm can actually reach a tight end. Arizona’s defense limited San Francisco last week to 13 points. The Dolphins are in trouble here. Cardinal QB Kurt Warner managed a steady opening game, handing off 26 times to RB Edgerrin James. Warner has averaged 315 yds/ game in his last 5 home starts. Looks like bright skies ahead for WR’s Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. Miami’s RB’s Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown combined for 46 yards rushing vs. the Jets last week. Pennington will have to air it out more in this one. Not much to recommend on Miami’s side other than a repeat by Fasano.

San Diego at Denver…... Second-round draft pick WR Eddie Royal’s spectacular debut on Monday Night was as historical as Denver’s Convention. Is he Eagles WR DeSean Jackson’s twin brother separated at birth? He was unstoppable. Nine catches for 146 yards and a TD. The Broncos needed no running game. Both QB’s Jay Cutler and Philip Rivers will be solid FFB plays in this game. They both have great weapons and good protection. Rivers finds WR’s Chris Chambers and Vincent Jackson in a balanced attack. Ladanian Tomlinson has returned to earth, though. His TD’s dropped significantly in 2007. He didn’t score week one. LT may no longer be the best FFB back in the NFL, and there are real concerns with his sprained right toe. FFB owners can no longer just ‘set it and forget it’ with LT. RB Jacob Hester might get some carries Sunday. TE Antonio Gates always rewards his owners , but he hurt his hip along with the chronic bad toe.

New England at NY Jets…..The 2008 Matt Cassel era begins for the Patriots. FFB message boards were flooded with barbs directed to Tom Brady owners. This will impact all of the FFB . Cassel only threw one pass to Moss, and that wasn’t caught. Wesley Welker had 5 throws from Cassel. Is it time to trade Randy Moss? The feeling here will be an increased emphasis on the Patriot ground game. Laurence Maroney will see more touches, as will Sammy Morris. The Patriots had solid balance last year, but Brady’s success through the air diminished much need for a running game. Look for that to change in a hurry. Cassel was just picked up in our league, but he’ll have a tall order to fill vs. the Jets. WR Randy Moss is nicked, as is the Patriot psyche. Jets QB Brett Favre, Jerricho Cotchery, and Thomas Jones will have decent games, but nothing spectacular vs. the Pats Defense.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland…..RB Jamal Lewis struggled last week with the Cowboys and his hamstring. He only managed 35 yards vs. the Steelers last year, so bench him again. WR Donte’ Stallworth just eyeballs his legs and they cramp up. He hasn’t been a factor since 2005. Pittsburgh’s defense will be the hero here. They looked locked and loaded on opening day. Ben Roethlisberger is dinged up, but RB Willie Parker is there to soothe all of that. He rewarded his owners last week with his best FFB game ever with 3TD’s. That’s a full TD more than he managed ALL last year. The Steelers defense will bring the wood like Dallas did last week. They are tougher than a Waffle House pork chop. TE Kellon Winslow is a no-brainer. Braylon Edwards is too talented to lay consecutive eggs. Big WR Andre Johnson caught 10 balls vs. Pittsburgh, so Edwards will have a chance. . WR Hines Ward surprised last week, burning Santonio Holmes owners. It should be good for both of them Sunday night in Cleveland.

Eagles at Dallas, Monday Night…...Are you ready for some football? Wow! Dallas is a touchdown favorite in this great match-up. The Eagles picked apart lowly St. Louis last week The first time since Tommy McDonald, Pete Retzlaff, and Timmy Brown that three Eagles WR’s had over 100 yards. That lightening can’t strike twice, but Donovan McNabb looks happy and primed to give it a shot. Rookie WR DeSean Jackson is the key. His rapid rise to prominence will continue. Dallas is too talented All key skill positions should be in play here. But, I can see a couple of picks for Tony Romo. And what if Jessica Simpson shows up? She’s already on record as stating her beau will “ kick the Eagles asses”. The Eagles defense might not get to Romo, but the secondary will. Not many surprises in this rivalry. Start all your studs! Brian Westbrook, of course. Hank Baskett went real early off our waiver wire this week. Could that owner have been a ‘homer’?

Baltimore at Houston…..I won’t say ’Houston, we have a problem’. But, we do. What will be of Houston and Texas ? This game is postponed until Nov. 9th. I don’t even want to comment any further. FFB battles take a real back seat to these devastating battles with Mother Nature..

The NFL menu..

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:37:00 +0000

How quickly the tides of fortune can change from week to week in fantasy football. That’s what makes it fun, and why there is a waiver wire. Tom Brady could be the worst opening day loss in FFB history. WR Marques Colston hurts as well. If you drafted RB Michael Turner, or even WR Eddie Royal, you are smiling all week. But, come Sunday, fate could demote them to Marques Colston status, or worse, Tom Brady status. Or, maybe even Vince Young status. Nobody said FFB was fair.
Our league, though, has a ‘fair and balanced ‘ ladder waiver system. Transactions go in order. You cannot just willy-nilly grab a player off the waiver wire by being the ‘geekiest’ nerd on your computer. That is silly. You are randomly assigned a transaction position order week #1. To make a transaction pick, we email our Commish with our preferences, and by Saturday he assigns the players in the order of our rung on the ladder system. If several owners desire the same player, which is always the case, it goes to the owner highest on the ladder. Once you are assigned a player, you then go to the bottom of the ladder.
If you don’t make a pick, you rise up the ladder until you want to pick a player. There is clever strategy involved. I think it wins championships. We had an owner last year who threw in the towel early. He remained at the top of the ladder all year, never making a transaction. Transactions in our league cost $3, increasing the booty for the eventual winners.

Week 1 brought some surprises and some heartaches. That menu is offered up every week in the NFL. Same menu, different week. Often, with no dessert. Just ask the San Diego Chargers, the Indianapolis Colts, or the New England Patriots.

Let the games begin...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:45:00 +0000

Here we go…the 2008 FFB season is kicking off…I will provide you with some gems that will hopefully get the edge on your adversary each week…Let’s get started.

Seattle at. Buffalo…The sneaky Bills pass defense only allowed 7/10 of a TD per game in 2007, if you dismiss the two Patriots games. Bench the entire Seattle QB/WR corps…Maurice Morris is slated to start at RB for Seattle. The Seahawks are 5-0 the last 5 times Morris has started.. But Julius Jones will take over. Marshawn Lynch is the only FFB play for Buffalo’s offense.

Houston at Pittsburgh…Matt Schaub had a 113 QB rating in pre-season…light’s out! WR Andre Johnson is in play…QB Ben Rothlisberger fired up 32 TD’s in 2007. He will face a shabby Houston pass defense…Start Big Ben! Frisky Willie Parker will start off hot…He always does . Santonio Holmes should be in play as well.

Cincy at Baltimore…Ocho Cinco will need to focus more on his torn labron than his torn Chad Johnson jersey. Not good vibes for any Cincy FFB players. RB Chris Perry has an upside, but a track record of injuries. RB Ray Rice is the only play here…If McGahee can’t go, Rice could continue his 5.6 yards/ per carry pre-season. Even if McGahee plays, Rice should get the bulk of the carries. TE Todd Heap needs to be on the scrap heap.

Detroit at Atlanta….Look for big games from WR Roddy White, ( good pre-season chemistry with QB Matt Ryan) , RB.Michael Turner (9.3 yards/carry in the pre-season), John Kitna, Calvin Johnson, Roy Williams…This should be a shoot out in the Georgia Dome…The Falcons quit last year, along with their coach. It will be different now.

St. Louis at Eagles…The field will be soupy after all the rain…. That bodes well for your Eagles D. For sure, Brian Westbrook. On a compromised grass gridiron, Eagles rookie WR DeShawn Jackson’s ‘quicks’ might have a field day…Only one team allowed fewer TD passes than the Birds (16) last year…Forget Marc Bulger and the Rams passing attack…You picked Steven Jackson to play him..

Kansas City at New England…Start all Patriots, except for TE Ben Watson who is out…The Patriots only allowed 7 Rush TD’s all last year.. Not good for Larry Johnson and company. Minor ups for TE Tony Gonzalez. The Chiefs will be airing it out in the second half.

Tampa Bay at New Orleans…TE Shockey is in the twilight zone. He broke his fibula last year and missed the entire pre-season. He will play, but I don't expect much. Drew Brees will be Drew Brees. The Saints must overcome another bad hurricane. It will be Reggie Bush’s third term. Bench him. Colston for sure, maybe WR Robert Meacham. The Saints are not known for pass defense, so Jeff Garcia to Joey Galloway should work. RB Earnest Graham will continue his surprising 2007 form.

Jets at Miami…Brett Favre loves to throw to tight ends, but the Jets have 3 of them Baker, Keller, and Franks. Laveranues Coles is hurt, but will play. Look for solid FFB points from RB’s Thomas Jones and Ricky Williams. Not much more to recommend here.

Jacksonville at Tennessee…Running back by committee for The Titans and the Jags. Vince Young wanted to retire. Plus, Jacksonville’s Defense can really bring it. Jaguar’s QB David Gerrard always gets the job done, but his receivers are nicked up. Not a good match-up for FFB points, except the Jags defense.

Dallas at Cleveland….Jamal Lewis is a 4PM game time decision vs. a stingy Cowboys rush defense. Bench him. Cleveland only allowed 3 rushing TD’s in their last 10 games in 2007. If that trend continues in 2008, Marion Barber will have to earn his points. Terrell Owens, Tony Romo, Jason Witten will go off! Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow will be the focus in the 2nd half.

Carolina at San Diego…Panthers pass defense allowed 2 TD’s per game the last 3 games of 2007. That should put QB Philip Rivers in play. WR Chris Chambers put up big FFB numbers when TE Antonio Gates was hurt at the end of 2007. Gates is still a mystery , so Chambers will be a good fit here. LT is LT. On The Carolina side, RB’s Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams will share the carries. No real FFB value there, especially vs. the Chargers D.

Arizina at San Francisco….The last time the Cardinals faced the 49’ers, QB Kurt Warner laid 484 passing yards on San Francisco, with 2TDS. Larry Fitzgerald had 156 of those yards. Warner is a stud here, as will be Fitzgerald and Boldin. RB Frank Gore is a must, but not much else to recommend from the 49’ers side.

Chicago at Indianapolis…The Colts have a good enough rush defense to stop Matt Forte or Kevin Jones. QB Peyton Manning will miss his injured regular center, and will need to shake off some rust. Marvin Harrison will have to convince owners that he has something left in his tank. Reggie Wayne , Joseph Addai and Dallas Clark should all be in your FFB mix.

Minnesota at Green Bay….Interesting opening Monday Night match-up. Why can’t there always be 2 games on Monday Night? Adrian Peterson will be a stud.. Green Bay has an issue at RB. Look for RB Brandon Jackson to carry the ball over Ryan Grant. He wasn’t drafted in our league. TE Donald Lee and WR Donald Driver will be a factor.

Denver at Oakland….RB Darren McFadden was kept under wraps in the pre-season. He never ran outside of the tackles. That will all change here. He will run outside early and often. JaMarcus Russell will rely on it! Oakland’s rush defense is horrible, so look for much of the same from Denver’s Selvin Young. Rookie WR Eddie Royal is one to watch for Denver.

Are you READY for some FOOTBALL??

Anatomy of a draft

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:33:00 +0000

Ok, folks, here’s my team in our 12 man Points Per Reception League. With the 5th pick I surprised the league by selecting Buffalo’s RB Marshawn Lynch. Bills brass and QB Trent Edwards intend to significantly increase Lynch’s touches this year. Perhaps as many as ten more per game. That elevated him, in my thought, above the RB’s taken shortly after, Joseph Addai, Clinton Portis, Frank Gore, Larry Johnson, and Ryan Grant. Clinton Portis tallied a paltry 8 FFB points Thursday night vs. NY. I look for that trend to continue with Washington’s sluggish offense under reluctant new coach Jim Zorn.
I could have taken Addai, but Marshawn will be Buffalo’s main weapon. Addai must compete with many other weapons, and a far more ambitious schedule vs. the run. Lynch will face an easier plate of run defenses.
In round 2 I took the best WR still available, Houston’s Andre Johnson. I hope he can stay healthy. RB Jamal Lewis was a pleasant surprise, falling to me in round 3. I really coveted Falcon’s new RB Michael “the burner” Turner. I jumped on him with a warm and fuzzy grin on my face in round 4. No worries about a QB yet.
Round’s 5 and 6 landed me Atlanta’s Roddy White, another receiver I wanted , and reliable Chief TE Tony Gonzalez. So far, so good.. I was looking at Baltimore’s RB Ray Rice in Round #7, but I went with San Diego WR Chris Chambers, hoping Rice would slide a round. He did.. I happily added him to my roster in Round 8.
In Round 9, I handcuffed QB Philip Rivers to Chris Chambers. Satisfied with my RB‘s, I selected receivers in rounds 10 and 11. I got two with huge upsides, Saints WR Robert Meacham, and Eagles starting WR DeSean Jackson. I just might be starting Jackson this Sunday if the field is playable.
With most top defenses gone by round 12, I landed the Birds D. I’m Ok with that. They have an upside. Round 13 brought the most heckling of the draft, when I picked WR Courtney Taylor of the Seahawks. With all the injuries to Seahawks WR’s, Courtney was projected as a starter. I was right. My sports psychologist helped me through the abuse. I’m glad he was there. With round 14, I grabbed the QB I had coveted all along, Arizona’s Kurt Warner. Matt Leinart had been taken in the 10th round. I was fearful that Leinart’s proud owner would handcuff Warner at the end of the draft, so I stole him at #14.. The last 2 picks rounded off my team with Eagles kicker David Akers and Buffalo’s QB Trent Edwards. Edwards will hopefully dump off a few more passes to my first pick, Marshawn Lynch. ……Bookend Buffalo Bills….Mission Accomplished!

Our draft was over three weeks ago, so some of these players would have gone much higher if the draft was now. Especially Warner. We all had to scratch our heads and make some reaches and guesses.
My only regret was not taking the available Larry Fitzgerald when I grabbed Andre Johnson. He would have hooked up very nicely with Kurt Warner in San Francisco this Sunday. But, few regrets, otherwise. Our teams all look like winners until the play begins. Well, some of our teams. There is always some dead money in the league.
The number of dream team players that see little or no pre-season action seems to be growing each year. QB’s Peyton Manning and Tom Brady never took a pre-season snap, but they were snapped up early. Antonio Gates is in the twilight zone. Injuries are disguised by teams more and more. It really is becoming a crap shoot, no matter when you draft. Opening day will open up many eyes…..I can’t wait!

From mike missenelli to sarah palin

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 14:23:00 +0000

Mike Missenelli, provocative sports talk personality on 950ESPN radio, will be hosting an on air FFB league. He has directed anyone in his rapidly expanding radio audience to email if interested in joining this select league. That would be a total hoot! It surely would be entertaining. I’m not sure Mikey Miss would be the most benevolent of FFB Commish’s, but he’d sure make it fun and games! I have already forwarded my electronic shout-out to MikeMiss@950ESPN.com. to try my luck. If anyone out there is interested, fly out an email to Mike. I’m sure he will unveil a degenerate, eclectic group of team owners….novices need not apply. Would all-world FFB naysayer Howard Eskin ever go there? Eskin just wouldn’t get it….
My tough league of friends recently held our 10th annual FFB draft. With this year’s 5th pick, I had some serious head-scratching to do. And, I had to think fast! When you’re on the clock, the barbs come fast and furious! The four picks before me were the predictable running backs LT, Adrian Peterson, Brian Westbrook and Steven Jackson. When I selected Buffalo’s Marshawn Lynch at #5, our 2008 insult season officially got underway. I won’t bore you with why I took the 2nd year RB out of Cal, other than an understanding that he will touch the ball about 10 times more per game than he accomplished in his successful 2007 rookie campaign. Buffalo also faces a much softer schedule of defenses against the run than Joseph Addai will with the Indy Colts. Also, Marshawn will get more passes out of the backfield this year. At Cal he was a solid receiver as well. And, besides, I cringe at the injury history of Frank Gore, Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson, the other backs that were picked shortly after me, even Joseph Addai. OK., so I bored you. I flip-flopped…It’s not life, it’s not politics, it’s just FFB…
Did anyone of you out there totally steal the QB who led the entire NFL with 21 TD's in the 2nd half of 2007, in your 14th ROUND?? That QB wasn’t Tom Brady, it wasn’t Drew Brees, it wasn’t Peyton Manning. It was Kurt Warner, who was just named by Arizona Coach Ken Whisenant, as the opening day starter. ( Matt Leinart went 4 rounds earlier). Warner carried me to my Championship after I picked him up in week #9 last year. Maybe my league isn’t so tough after all. I was going to wait a round, but I was afraid he’d be swooped up as a hand cuff to Leinart. QB’s in my draft went surprisingly fast. Brady, Romo, Manning, Brees, and head-scratcher Carson Palmer were gone before the 3rd round.. Who’s Palmer going to get the ball to? Arnold Palmer?
I’m elated with Kurt Warner again at round #14.…it only has an upside.
Wow! A RB who was in the top 25 in most FFB circles, has been sadly terminated. The Cincy Bengals saved some coin by parting ways with Rudi Johnson.( a bad year for Rudi’s). Johnson, the #1 RB on the Bengals preseason depth chart, is looking for a job. This paves the way for injury prone Chris Perry , and Kenny Watson. The feeling here, it will be Watson by mid-season. Both were picked in my league, neither will be very valuable. Nor will Rudi Johnson.
I know this isn’t FFB, but I just can’t help myself...Sarah Palin?? A self-professed “hockey mom,“ a heart beat away from the top office of the free world? The future “face” of the Republican Party? On just one meeting with John McCain? Oh, to be a fly on that wall! Is it just me, or will she need to score a hat trick every hour, 24/7 until the election? Could there ever be more of a microscope placed on anyone? Is this historical or is it just hysterical? Or, just plain sad. My brain now has more than 18 million cracks in it, my glass ceiling about to explode! I have listened to her speak thrice now.. I hear similar talent at my Lower Providence township meetings. Her voice might just bring Iran to it’s knees, though… John McCain will be swept under the rug by all of her attention. Abraham Lincoln must to be doing some serious somersaults in his grave. I better go , before I get in trouble. Toodles!

Running backs vs. wide receivers...

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:55:00 +0000

This is an issue debated in FFB circles every year, ad nauseam. What position is worth more at your draft table, the running back, or the wide receiver? Most leagues now score a point for a reception, so the lower-tier WR’s have certainly gained in status through the years..
In 2007, the top 10 WR’s outscored the top 10 RB’s by a margin of over 300 points. Yet, in 2006, RB’s outscored WR’s by a significant margin. To be fair, in 2007, top tier RB’s were really snake-bitten by injuries, surely skewing things…
I say it is a push… I say it’s a wash…
Until this….
This year, the NFL has changed a rule that will substantially affect the FFB landscape. There will be no “force-out” calls this year. If a WR snags a ball and is forced out of bounds by the defender, it is no longer considered a catch.
Follow me with this scenario. Your QB attempts a 40 yard TD bomb to your WR, who you cleverly picked up in your draft. He snags the ball in the corner of the end zone, but he’s forced out of bounds by the defender, preventing both feet from planting in the end zone. In my league this would be an 18 point disappointment. That is beyond huge!
Even a 20-yard grab at the sidelines, forced out of bounds, could swing a weekly FFB outcome. These plays happen nearly every game!
This new rule will also impact your QB’s fantasy production as well. In the previous scenario, that would be a 7 point QB casualty, plus a loss of a completion. While NFL referees will breath a little easier, and instant replay booths will collect some dust, this rule will wreak havoc on the cumulative numbers of a WR, and even a QB. As is if FFB isn’t stressful enough!

ADVANTAGE………RUNNING BACK

President Bush kicks of official FFB season

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:53:00 +0000

8/15/08 Crawford, Texas...President George W. Bush tossed out the first football from the western White House today, officially kicking off America's 2008 Fantasy Football season. " It's like when I threw out that first pitch at Yankee Stadium after 9/11, only better," Bush told a gathering crowd of tumbleweeds at his soon to be up for sale Crawford Ranch. " Heck, it's been a tough year, so this Fantasy Football will sure help relieve some pressure and help me wind down this Administration.”
“ Me, Dick Cheney, and Condoleezza Rice are all set to hold our eighth and final FFB draft here at the ranch. We used to have many more fine folks here for our draft, but they drifted away over the years. Mostly just to be with their families. Fine folks like Karl Rove, Colin Powell, Rummy, Brownie, the Beltway Boys, that ungrateful loser Scott McCarron, Gonzo, Rush. I won’t be missing Rush’s cigar smoke, that’s for sure. Plus he can sure put away some chow at the draft!”
“Remember that quail hunt lawyer Harry Whittington? You gotta love Cheney busting Whitt’s head all up with that buckshot. Whitt's face was more messed up than that whooping Katrina laid on them New Orleans levees, ( heh, heh.). He wanted no parts of that 2006 draft. That Cheney sure is a hoot after a couple of cold ones, especially if you lay some pellets, some caged quail, and a shotgun nearby. It’s priceless!”
“ Scooter Libby is gone. Speaking of Scooter, I might be riding one of those bad boys soon. These gas prices sure are taking no prisoners. Seriously, can’t we water board some of these gas prices in Gitmo? ( heh, heh). Man, the American Dream's tires sure are getting slashed. I even invited Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to the draft, but they’re struggling with the entry fee. They must have been drunk at one time, sure sobering up now, (heh, heh ). This economy's worse than them ‘terrists’. Good thing we're gambling with our stimulus checks this year.”
“ Inauguration Day, January 20th, can't get here soon enough, but I'm gonna sprint to the finish. I'll win my FFB league again, way before we bring Bin Laden to justice. I won all the hardware last year with my slick FFB ’Surge’ strategy. I used my Patriot Act and hog-tied all them New England Patriots after week 2. That Wesley ‘Welcher’ sure had a heck of a year, (heh, heh).”
“I’m ’The Decider,’ so every year I naturally get the first pick in my draft, then the draft serpentines back and around to me, so I get the 2nd and 3rd picks. Then it’s my pick again. It’s kind of confusing, but I'm getting the first four picks this year. That should be enough for another ’mission accomplished,’ (heh, heh). Cheney won't care, he‘s been kind of out of touch lately any how, he might show up at the Convention. If we play next year, we’ll be holding the draft at Dick Cheney's crib, though. Google just removed his home from Google Maps and Google Earth Search, so ain't no way we'll ever get bothered there.”
“ I'm thinking that New Orleans RB Reggie Bush for my first selection. It might help cheer up some of those sour faces from that part of the world. I had Bush last year. I reckon a Bush can't have two bad campaigns back to back, ( heh, heh). And, besides, the best defense is always a good offense. I might even pardon QB Michael Vick with my 2nd pick. I hear Vick has the same positive cash flow as a dog right now. Or, how about that spanking new Jets QB Brett Favre? Man, that was some rough divorce from the Packers! I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, not even that John Edwards, (heh, heh). I won’t be taking that RB Laurence Maroney again, that's for sure. Maybe the new Patriots RB LaMont Jordan, though? LaMont had a TD in his first pre-season game. Who's that Steeler RB? Is it ‘Slick Willie’ or ‘Fast Willie?’ If it’s ‘Slick Willie,‘ I‘ll leave that up to Monica Lewinsky, (heh, heh). I might even take that WR from the Indy Colts, Anthony Gonzalez, out of respect for my heck of a disgraced Attorney General, Gonzo.”
“Man, this FFB is more addicting than that oil,( heh heh). Good thing me and the boys don't ban off-shore drilling any more. You gotta love the ‘Straight Talk Express,‘ John McCain. We're gonna drill all day, all night at my draft, right here, right now, during each and every round. Laura wants to dump this place anyway, so who cares if there’s crude oil spurting all up through the floor?. Jeb and the Beverly Hillbillies did just fine with that back in the day, (heh, heh). These FFB drafts never seem to get any easier, even with just the three of us here now. Next year, at least, I won't have so much on my mind. We'll be playing with Euros next year.”
“Anyway, good luck to all of you fine citizens out there in all of your 2008 FFB draft endeavors. Let's Play BALL! Hey, where are all you tumbleweeds blowing off to? Don’t tell me another one of them ‘axis of evil’ hurricanes is coming?. If Mother Nature was a terrorist organization, I’d sure have some egg on my face, but you gotta admit, that Brownie really did do a heck of a job. I know you all are gonna miss me, and God bless!”

Note: President Bush and his final 2008 lame duck FFB adventures will be updated randomly throughout this entire NFL football campaign. Find out who wins, EXCLUSIVELY, only here in “Fantasy Football Gone Wild”. You won't find this anywhere else.
You can't make this stuff up!

President Bush supports Georgia

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:24:00 +0000

8/13/08...Beijing, China: A somber President Bush vowed to support embattled Georgia today. “ Man, that state is taking a butt-whooping,” Bush told a hastily gathered Chinese press, while holding an American flag backwards. “This is serious, it’s bad for the Confederacy. We haven’t been attacked like this since Hurricane Katrina. Georgia was one of them original 13 colonies.”
“ I'm going to dispatch Condoleezza Rice to the Macon County Line and cut off the Russian armored tanks before they reach Atlanta. Maybe she can lay down on I-285 and stop that evil Soviet advance around the captal. Bullying or attacking a state is unacceptable foreign policy to me."
“Georgia is ranked #1 in college football, and that new Falcons coach is doing a heck of a fine job cleaning up after Michael Vick’s dogs. Laura and I were even thinking about getting some tickets to that part of the world.”
“ I might have to postpone my FFB Draft now. It’s really only me, Condy and Cheney playing this year. The rest have left us. But, please stay tuned for that. The Russians are testing my patience, but, be assured, they won’t stop me from playing FFB. Katrina didn't stop me from playing golf, did it? My great-grandaddy George Herbert Walker started the Walker Cup."
“ Is the inauguration coming soon?”

Russians to attack Georgia Dome

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:29:00 +0000

8/13/08 Flowery Branch, Georgia ( Atlanta Falcons training camp)...The Atlanta Falcons braced for another mortar attack from the Soviet Union, in shell-shocked Georgia today. “This is my first year with this team, I swear I never saw this coming,” new Falcons head coach Mike Smith told a shaken media. “I’m seeing a whole lot of red, and it’s not just in our uniforms. I’m here trying to get this slop of an NFL team ready for our home opener vs. the Lions, and now this. Did Bobby Petrino tick off the Russians that bad, too?”
“ When was the last time a state was attacked by the Russians? Couldn’t they have invaded South Carolina? Why they picked Georgia, I don’t have a clue. There’s no oil here, we all know it’s the Peach State, I thought. Why do you think this town was named Flowery Branch? Michael Vick’s 2007 fightin’ pit bull saga is looking tame next to this sorry situation. We sure could use some of Vick’s fightin’ dogs right now, to help protect The Georgia Dome. I-85 North has been shut down. Algae Crumpler has been shut down. It’s bad enough just trying to block and tackle in a place called Flowery Branch without laughing.”
As the world watches this tense and developing situation, extra security has been placed around FFB notables Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, Roddy White, and Michael Jenkins.
Joey Harrington , Joe Horn , Chris Redman, and Jerious Norwood weren’t provided any security.
“We’ve been through some rough times before,” Falcons owner Arthur Blank told the press. “ Our Falcons may quit and lose a lot, but as long as I’m still the owner, they will never, ever surrender.”

The impotent first tier quarterback

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:37:00 +0000

The quarterback is the face of football teams on all levels. While consensus suggests that most gridiron success comes from within the trenches , the quarterback engineers the scoring. Thus, he always gets the adoration or the blame, the big contract, the glamour, the media attention, and sometimes even Jessica Simpson. . You just have to observe Brett Favre’s ugly divorce from the Packers to get all of that. But, in Fantasy Football, is the stud QB always that adorable?
My current league has been in operation since 1999, the year QB Peyton Manning really burst on to the scene. He was selected #1 in our 2000 Draft. He has been selected in the first round, usually early, every year since.. Manning holds NFL records for consecutive years with over 4,000 yards passing, as well as most career total seasons with 4,000 plus yards passing. Only once has he missed a Pro Bowl selection since his 1998 rookie year. That was in 2001. He has been an absolute and durable FFB machine!
But, guess what? Not ONCE has Peyton Manning ever even made our playoff finals in nine years! Is drafting Peyton just a silly curse? I don’t think so.
A stud QB looks shiny on your opening day roster, but that gloss can wear off amazingly fast. In 2007, Tom Brady carried his proud owner on his back, putting up obscene FFB numbers, taking no prisoners all year long. You could pencil Brady in for 40 plus fantasy points, easy. Brady always answered the bell, even when that owner’s other players got nicked up. Nobody could beat him.
But, a wintry December Nor’easter rendered Brady impotent in our playoff semi-finals. Mother Nature demoted him to frigid human status, much to my benefit. That same winter storm wrapped a white out blanket all over Randy Moss and Wesley Welker, taking down another playoff favorite.
The combination of lesser QB’s David Garrard and Kurt Warner carried me to victory, in sunny places like Florida and Arizona. Neither of them were even drafted. Neither was on my roster before week 11. Amazingly, David Garrard also made our 2006 finals, finally being beaten out by that perennial FFB stud, QB Jeff Garcia. Fifty percent of our league winners have won with QB’s that were never even drafted.
This is the case more often that not. Over the years, the best QB’s in the NFL, names like McNabb, Manning, Palmer, Brees, Romo….the next one of those names who sniff our trophy, will be the first. You can’t make this stuff up!
Injuries, wintry late season games, bad match-ups, solid defenses, etc., have thwarted most first tier QB’s in the playoffs. That really is a remarkable trend! Even one that 2007 All-Fantasy-World QB Tom Brady couldn’t buck. Nobody will EVER put up better numbers.
So, if you fret, sweat, and panic for a first tier QB after your first round pick…relax, grab a beverage of your choice, chuckle with the only friend at your draft, your sports psychologist. It’s really not that urgent! Look for another RB or WR.. You’ll be glad you did.
It feels all warm and fuzzy to stroll out of you draft with a STUD QB on your roster. But, time- tested, real- time FFB reality ? Your 2008 league CHAMP just might steal it all with an undrafted signal-caller, or an opening day benchwarmer just needing some future love.

Did any expert , any clairvoyant, anywhere, foresee Eli Manning as the 2008 Super Bowl MVP? Case closed….

Bragging Rights

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 22:17:00 +0000

My current league is extremely competitive. These guys leave few stones unturned. We sometimes draft players that aren’t even in the system yet. But, they are legit!
It is a league of serious bragging rights if you win, yet brutal humiliation if you dip below .500. If you sadly happen to limbo under the “ Mendoza Line’ (batting under .200), you will surely require some primal scream therapy. You might not sleep well on Sunday Nights. Our message board is slathered with testosterone. It is not for the feint of heart.
Any slip up at the Draft, (i.e. drafting an injured player, a previously selected player, or a released player), will certainly produce instant wisecracks and razor-sharp ridicule.
As it should be.
Even a smart pick can be mocked, although a consensus “ good pick” refrain usually occurs in that situation, mercifully. The Draft usually lasts around four hours, but it can really feel like four days. Like in that Viagra commercial, if you have a draft that lasts for more than four hours, you will all need to consult your physician.
Although, in the Viagra commercial, I might actually wait more than four hours to consult my physician.
Our entry fee is a moderate $200, and every weekly transaction builds the pot up another $3. The winner gets a nice Christmas present, but it’s never about the cash booty. It never was. It’s about the personalities. It's about the journey. It’s all about the bragging rights.
Our league trophy sits right here in my FFB War Room now. It brings a smile. I want it to be there next winter as well. So does my sports psychologist. He’ll get all my prize money again, but, I don’t care.

I will own the bragging rights for another year…I’m using some of those right now….

Fantasy Football Gone Wild

noreply@blogger.com (Times Herald) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:34:00 +0000

Allow me to introduce myself, as well as my credibility. My name is Peter Newitt (aka Petey Bubba). I once wrote a freelance sports column for the West Chester Daily Local News. The column was called "Pete's Picks". It was quite taboo, back then in the early 1980s, to mention point spreads and Vegas gambling lines in print.
But, a progressive sports editor allowed me do just that. My weekly column focused on college football. Dan Marino was at Pitt at the time, John Elway was at Stanford, and Villanova's gridiron stand out was future NFL HOF defensive end Howie Long. Brian Westbrook wasn't yet born.
"Pete's Picks" had some early success vs. the Vegas Line, and the sports editor enjoyed my light, yet informative style. The good news was a job offer for a full-time sports writing job. The bad news was at half the pay I was receiving at my post office job, and without the job security or benefits.
My wife was pregnant at the time, so I painfully turned the offer down. I have regretted that ever since. So, now I'm taking out some more of my journalistic frustrations on this web site. My " Fantasy Football Gone Wild" blog will relate to FFB, America's #1 autumn disease.
FFB has contaminated every office, every work floor, every computer, every campus, every neighborhood in America, polluting our work space, our cyberspace, our minds, our homes and even our most well-intended relationships.
At the post office in the early 1980s, we indeed played FFB... Perhaps we even invented it. It wasn't called FFB, but it was our humble beginning. There were no FFB computer sites, no Fantasy magazines, no cheat sheets, no ESPN mock drafts, no FFB geeks or gurus to lean on....just our passion for NFL football.
It began with 11 bored postal workers and a commissioner who was chosen to be honest and benevolent. Our Commish held neither of those qualities, but I won't bore you with that. The Commish would at least check the Philly Daily News back pages on Mondays to see how we did. It was strictly touchdowns only, and kicking points... no yardage, no points for receptions, carries, sacks, fumbles or interceptions. If our receivers or running backs gobbled up chunks of yardage up and down the field, it never mattered. It only mattered if they crashed into the end zone for 6 points. Stud fullbacks were worthy!
I have played some form of FFB annually for over a quarter century now. That should qualify me for something. Just ask my wife., Valerie.. 2008 will be my 27th year, and yet we're still married.
I have graduated from dingy, smoke-filled, beer-soaked back room drafts to my 2007 draft in a posh, smoke-free, environmentally safe, state-of-the-art home theater, (also beer-soaked) from the cheesy Monday Daily News NFL box scores to CBSSports.com, game centers, real time play-by-play.
But, I always look forward to my weekly Sunday/Monday tilts with my "friends"… I am battle-tested, defending 2007 Champ, ready, and chafing at the bit (like Big Brown was before his dreaded Belmont), to entertain and inform any unlucky reader out there who, by their misfortune, stumbles upon this blog.
You all know who you are. Every year you insist on tormenting yourself with this FFB stuff! You can't help it! I'm here for all of you who run up your credit cards for online services that provide endless mock drafts, injury reports ad nauseam, useless strengths of schedules, pseudo player rankings, worthless player predictions. These are harsh economic times! .. I'm here to help you get the cutting edge on that obnoxious co-worker who nipped you in your FFB playoffs last year, or cleaned your clock in a mid season trade.
And, if I can't help, I just happen to have my sports psychologist right here at my side, to help all of us get through the grinding football season. Who needs a dog when you can have a trustworthy sports psychologist by your side? When you swim with sharks, you really need one..( I swear his hourly fee of 150 bucks could really help fill my gas tank these days, but I'm not that smart)
I have maintained all these years that you really need just TWO vital and crucial elements to capture your FFB League and Trophy:
1) You must work diligently and very hard just to get to
2) BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEPING LUCK! How about Cedric Benson going before Tom Brady at my 2007 Draft? Or, one of my league's rookie coaches stealing WR Randy Moss in the 6th round, and then WR Wesley Walker in last year's 11th round? His team was called the "Philly Cheesesteaks" . I haven't eaten one since. He was so obnoxious...They make me sick...."Wit' or "Witout."
You can't make this stuff up! I can't predict injuries, nor can I ever hope to heal them, but if you read this, you will smile through your angst. The best humor always slithers out from under some pain. "Fantasy Football Gone Wild" will weave politics, (in this surreal election year), names in the news, police blotters, sports, current entertainment, the economy, humor, culinary arts, the kitchen sink...you name it.. into a huge, twisted, tormented ball of irresistible nonsense. But, it will also be truly FFB informative. Just wait and see!
It may even help you steal a game or two from your obnoxious co-workers. Please tag along for the ride! I think you’ll enjoy it… plus it’s totally FREE, and free is ALWAYS in the budget. (By the way, my sports psychologist says hello….)
Feel free to comment… much appreciated! All abuse, however, will be carefuly screened and monitored under the N.E. Patriot Act, and most likely round-filed by my aforementioned shrink).