Think "Calgon" is simply dish detergent? Think again.

Calgon is a "he" -- John, actually-- and he is "legendary" for his freakishly complete packing list. I discovered him, or more correctly his Ultimate Packing List (known among travel junkies as simply the UPL) on a cruises-only message board.

(Calgon, by the way, has thrived on message boards and even met his wife, Sunflower Star, by way of cyber surfing. It's been smooth sailing ever since, as he tells it. )

Calgon's UPL first came to my attention in 1999 and I promptly made a copy of the list as I readily admit that I am among the "packing-challenged." I come by this disability genetically -- my mother taught me a long time ago that if packing one cocktail dress is good, then packing 12 must be exponentially better! And shoes! Nine pairs (still in single digits, mind you) seemed within reason!

On a cruise to the Mediterranean in my youth, I recall sitting in a public lounge on board American Export Lines' S.S. Constitution (the same ship seen in the classic movie "An Affair to Remember" and the one that carried Grace Kelly of Philadelphia to Europe when she married a young Prince Rainier and became Princess Grace of Monaco...)

The conversation in the lounge was between two ample, prissy women seated side-by-side sipping afternoon tea and nibbling the requisite crumbly cake. They were discussing a shipboard rumor about "some woman who came onboard with 21 suitcases, and still left all of her husband's clothes at home!"

That was no rumor -- that was my mother! In fairness to her, those suitcases held the "essentials" (evening gowns, bathing suits, hairdryers, perfumes, creams, unmentionables, and shoes, shoes, shoes) necessary for a woman as well as her two emerging-into-young-womanhood daughters. Somehow in our haste to depart from Philadelphia to make the drive to the Hudson River pier in New York City, one hang-up garment bag containing my father's clothing had been left on the back of a closet door. That precious, unperturbed man borrowed bits of clothing from fellow passengers along the way, and all was well -- although I recall that at one formal night he had to wear sandals with a white tuxedo because he hadn't found anyone willing to give up dress shoes. And as he had no button studs to close up his shirt, I remember sharing gales of laughter with my dad as I SEWED up the front of his gaping formalwear.

If only Calgon had been around in those days..... We surely would have packed duct tape to seal up the seams of that shirt!

Oh yes, duct tape is Calgon's number one must-pack item. He never goes anywhere without it! He closes gaping cabin curtains with it (and mentions that the Caribbean sun can be soooo bright on a morning when you might be suffering a hangover), tapes over overly drafty air conditioning vents in staterooms, fixes Sunflower Star's drooping hemlines with it.... Calgon would NEVER forget the duct tape!!

With permission from Calgon himself, I hereby give you the link to his website and his looney but inventive, totally comprehensive packing lists --- one for warm climates, one for cool climates, and more. Oh, one more note: Calgon told me just yesterday that he is now working on a UPL which will comply with the newest airline regulations and will be ready this month. So you may want to bookmark him. Or better yet, write his web address on a chunk of duct tape and slap it onto your forehead!


You can find the master of luggage packing at
http://www.geocities.com/Calgon1/Ultimate_Packing_List.html