Musings...From the Front of the Room

Dear Al Franken,

2008-12-02T11:06:00.002-05:00

Give it up!

You lost.

Sincerely,
Tony Di Domizio

Pride: A Definite Deadly Sin

2008-11-12T16:56:00.005-05:00

Pride can be a b----. I broke out loud laughing when I saw the picture.

HOW STUPID IS OUR WORLD??!!

She should have used sunflower oil --- less fat.

Idiot. She looks like Gary Oldman's character from "Hannibal."

Cosmetic surgery addict injected cooking oil into her own face

A Korean woman addicted to plastic surgery has been left unrecognisable after her obsession led her to inject cooking oil into her face.

Last Updated: 1:16PM GMT 11 Nov 2008

1 of 3 Images

Hang Mioku before cosmetic surgery ruined her appearance Photo: Saigo-Sinopix / Rex Features

Hang Mioku, now 48, had her first plastic surgery procedure when she was 28; hooked from the beginning she moved to Japan where she had further operations - mostly to her face.

Following operation after operation, her face was eventually left enlarged and disfigured, but she would still look at herself in the mirror and think she was beautiful.

Eventually the surgeons she visited refused to carry out any more work on her and one suggested that her obsession could be a sign of a psychological disorder.

When she returned home to Korea the surgery meant Hang's features had changed so much that her own parents didn't recognise her.

After realising that the girl with the grossly swollen face was indeed their daughter her horrified parents took her to a doctor. Once again the possibility that Hang had a mental disorder was raised and she started treatment.

However, this treatment was too expensive for her to keep up and she soon fell back into old ways.

Amazingly, she found a doctor who was willing to give her silicone injects and, what's more, he then gave her a syringe and silicone of her own so she could self-inject.

When her supply of silicone ran out Hang resorted to injecting cooking oil into her face.

Her face became so grotesquely large that she was called "standing fan" by children in her neighbourhood - due to her large face and small body.

As Hang's notoriety spread she was featured on Korean TV. Viewers seeing the report took mercy on her and sent in enough donations to enable her to have surgery to reduce the size of her face.

During the first procedure surgeons removed 60g of foreign substance from Hang's face and 200g from her neck.

After several other sessions her face was left greatly reduced but still scarred and disfigured.

And it would seem that even Hang can now see the damage she has done; she now says that she would simply like her original face back.

Things change, That's the way it is

2008-11-10T14:45:00.002-05:00

In two months, we will be living under a historic era.
Barack Obama, the nation’s first black president, was elected this week by the American people.
While I did not vote for him, he was chosen and we must abide.
To me, the popularity swirling around Obama was similar to that of the JFK era.
Now, those who voted for him have not just made history, but also have become a part of it.
For centuries, we have speculated on a black president or a woman president. For centuries, we balked that it could ever happen; we treated it as a fairy tale.
Yet now, to many, it’s a dream come true.
Some remain ignorant and racist, angered in a black man running the country.
Grow up.
Furthermore, the youth have experienced something groundbreaking — no, not the Phillies World Series win — but something on an unbelievable caliber like it. There are those who lived through the implementation and abolition of segregation, the Prohibition era, the assassinations of MLK and JFK ... welcome to another change in history.
There’s a late rapper named Tupac Shakur, maybe you’ve heard of him, and he has a song called “Changes,” ironically. In it he raps the lyric: And although it seems heaven sent/we ain’t ready to see a black president.
That was recorded in 1995.
Obviously, things have changed — and that’s just the way it is.

Phillies, The Election, Halloween: A Triple Threat

2008-11-10T14:41:00.002-05:00

Good things come to those that wait.
And we waited 28 years!
Phillies phinally pulled it off — and beat the Rays 4-1 and won the 2008 World Series.
Thank God.
Philadelphia teams had a history of choking in the most dire moments ... like the Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX and the conference championships in 2001, 2002 and 2003, the Phils in last year’s Division Series, the Flyers in the 1995 and 2000 playoffs and the Sixers have done it too, in the 2001 Finals (and it’s been downhill ever since).
Now, the Phillies have proven how a team that once sucked can be kings of the mountain.
Thank you, Phils, for making a city proud.
Too bad some in Philly had to ruin the spirit of the moment with vandalism. Oh well.
Even when you win them all, you can’t win them all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m sick of Joe.
There’s been a slogan recently with the McCain and Obama campaigns using this guy from Ohio as a metaphor for the middle class businessman in relation to tax cuts.
“Joe The Plumber,” “Joe Six Pack,” and someone at the cancelled McCain rally in Quakertown said on Tuesday he wished he was “Joe the Hot Coffee Salesman” after standing in line for a chilly hour.
First, this “Joe the Plumber” reportedly has tax liens, and he isn’t even a licensed plumber. So what’s his qualification? Hey, I changed the flapper in my toilet tank the other day, so I guess I’m “Tony the Plumber.” I also screwed a screw into a piece of wood the other day. Hi, I’m “Tony the Carpenter.”
If McCain and Obama want to talk about real Americans that are affected by this election, then let’s mention some real people, people I know.
Like Bob The Engineer, a self-employed American who managed his own business of custom machining and building for more than 20 years, helped design popular roller coaster cars, put two kids through college and is about to put one more through, saved enough money to pay off the mortgage and recently merged his business with another firm.
There’s Diane The Day Care Worker, who struggled to find a part-time job and landed one watching the children of parents who worked full-time every day, finds time to go home and cook a meal for her family and deal with widowed aunts and an elderly father, cleans the house and pays the bills.
How about Renee The Art Teacher, who influences the lives of teens at Pennbrook Middle School, raises two children with her husband Frank The Hunter/Children and Youth Services fiscal director, and solidified her local legacy with sports paintings on the wall of the Memorial Park ballfield along Line Street.
Don’t forget Gina The Substitute Teacher, who struggles to find the right job, eagerly wakes up each day to change lives of children and still keeps a smile, and there’s her boyfriend, Derek The Rental Store Manager, who works 10 or 11-hour days, makes sure everything runs smoothly in the store and bravely tracks down delinquent accounts in a time when people are struggling financially.
Then there’s me: Tony The Writer, a talented journalist who writes two stories a day for the general public, taking phone calls at the spur of the moment from people complaining about taxes, open space, the economy and the election, listening to the gripes of the common man and woman, telling their story the way they’d like it to be told, and doing it all in 40 hours a week with no overtime.
There’s your real America.
-----------------------------------------------------
Halloween is here, and it seemed just yesterday we were getting sand in places where we didn’t think we could get sand.
So, being the kid at heart that I am, I am dressing up yet again for Halloween. Last weekend, Elizabeth and I went to a friend’s Halloween party in Philly, and I got to show off my costume that Elizabeth, her sister Melissa and I have been working on for a couple weeks.
Of course, I am The Joker from “The Dark Knight.”
Weeks prior, I scoured thrift stores and second-hand shops to piece together my outfit. I found some light khaki pants, tie and a dress shirt similar to the one from the film. A month ago, I got some white, black and red face paint.
Elizabeth’s sister did the duty of dying the pants purple — and they turned out great! She and Elizabeth also found a lab coat at the Salvation Army, which was also dyed purple.
She also found a cane, which I spraypainted purple.
I was nervous that I wouldn’t find a green vest. After a half-hour searching at local establishment, I thought all hope was lost. Then, I pushed aside some other imperfect vests and there it was, hidden on the rack.
Everything was complete, except for the gloves. A quick buy on the Internet did the trick.
Yeah, I don’t have a life.
Last Friday evening, before the trek to Philly, I began the process of applying the makeup. It’s been years since I put makeup on my face and I feared my skin would break out.
Well, it was worth it. I mean, it’s the most popular costume this year — even “The Office” spoofed it last night.
I kept my masculinity intact as I applied this mascara-like material I picked up for the eyes and bright red lipstick for the lips. Then, I applied the white face paint.
The only qualm — the green hairspray. It didn’t work as well as I would have liked.
In a half-hour, I was done, and in full Joker mode, complete with Joker cards I collected from various decks of cards over the past couple months.
I may have looked like a freak, but I didn’t care. It would have felt worse if I was single and doing this.
We made it to the party — with Elizabeth as an alluring witch —and the costume was a blast. I was in character and handed out “my card” to others at the party.
Now, I have to do it all again tonight, for Elizabeth and I are hosting our own party.
If I keep doing this, I might get used to it.
In all seriousness, Halloween isn’t for children anymore. You get to be someone else for a night. If there’s any “Dark Knight” fans out there, try the Joker costume.
It’ll put a smile on your face.

A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse Part I

2008-11-10T14:37:00.002-05:00

A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse Part I

So, Matthew McConaughey may be Captain America.
Are you kidding me? This tool?
"Alright, Alright, Alright ... Red Skull I'm gonna defeat you and make sure you're no longer L-I-V-I-N. Livin'."
Seriously. There's gotta be somebody better out there than this idiot. And creator Stan Lee gives OK to WILL SMITH???
Come on! Stan Lee's gone senile in his old age.
I dont want to see either of these guys with Ed Norton and Downey in an "Avengers" movie.
What's next??! Ryan Reynolds as Captain America? Fabio as Thor??
Luckily, DC Comics seems their movie options will be better in the future (Watchmen, Dark Knight)...
Please God, dont let McConaughey be Capt. America. Or I might just flee to Canada.

---

Johnston Signs Deal to Direct 'Captain America'

10 November 2008 8:23 AM, PST

Filmmaker Joe Johnston will take the helm of the eagerly anticipated Captain America movie.

The Jurassic Park III director has signed a deal with Marvel Studios to bring the comic book superhero to the big screen in 2011.

It is the third Marvel film in the pipeline, including Thor and the Avengers, after Robert Downey Jr.'s turn as Iron Man earlier in the year proved a huge success with superhero fans.

Although Johnstone has signed the deal, it is unknown who will take on the patriotic U.S. role.

Comic book creator Stan Lee has given his backing to Will Smith to wear the red, white and blue suit, although other insiders have suggested Matthew McConaughey may land the part.

Souderton Area Fool District

2008-09-12T13:31:00.002-04:00

Souderton District has failed to provide the local media with information about taxpayers' money.

The district administration refuses to answer simple questions on costs regarding outside PR firm contracting and dollar amounts in funds.

This is no doubt another plan for the district to protect itself from taxpayer backlash during the strike.

It all reminds me of a quote from Mark Twain: "God made the idiot for practice. Then He made the school board."

Hey, He made school district administration too.

Ladies and gentlemen, John Lennon and Jay-Z

2008-09-10T16:50:00.001-04:00

Should I feel old?
There’s a resurgence of music from the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s coming back into the 21st Century – and with it a new generation of youth becoming fans.
Metallica is back with an album next week after five years, and from the sound of things, it makes one think of “Master of Puppets” or “…And Justice For All.”
AC/DC is coming out with an album this fall. Who knew people still expect music from them? These guys have been around since the 1970s and are still strutting around in schoolboy uniforms.
And what’s this? New Kids on the Block?? They’re back?! Well, if you were once famous and can’t pay the bills …
I mean, don’t these guys have kids? Will their wives or significant others be there to fend off the teenyboppers who are now twentyboppers and their respective crazed mothers?
And just who else is coming out with stuff? Joan Baez? Jefferson Starship? Didn’t they manage to build a city on rock and roll AND destroy their career with a bad song?
Pete Seeger? The Cure! A Queen Christmas album?
And look at what’s anticipated next year: Boston, Goo Goo Dolls, Fugees and Garbage?
And where’s “Chinese Democracy”?
I guess it’s nice to know that those bands we listened to growing up – and even the bands our parents listened to growing up – are still in studios and still trying to crank out hits to this day.
It gives us a way to hang onto our youth.
Yet I can’t help to think sometimes, what would it be like if bands and musicians of the past who are no longer with us had been cranking out albums in the 21st Century?
What would Jimi Hendrix sound like today? Would he have a new club hit produced by Timbaland?
What about Nirvana? Would they still be standing on top of the charts today? Would Kurt Cobain be jamming with Jay-Z? Would flannel still be in style?
Could Janis Joplin still wail well into her 60s, perhaps with a remix of “Ball and Chain”? I’d be too afraid that Britney Spears would somehow be involved with that.
Perhaps leather pants would be the new fashion sense for men today had Jim Morrison still been around. He’d probably be today’s Pete Doherty, except that people will like him.
Hey, maybe there could have been a VH1 reality show: “The Lizard King and I” or “Indecent Exposure with Jim Morrison.”
And Tupac and Biggie? Would we still have East Coast vs. West Coast rap battles?
I’d be most interested in the continuing battle between Paul McCartney and John Lennon (and Yoko Ono and Heather Mills). I bet Lennon and Green Day would have made a great collaborative record.
It could have all been possible, especially with Steven Tyler and company going through all their ups and downs and rehabs and near-deaths and still being able to rock out a Super Bowl and come out with their own video game.
And let’s not forget The Rolling Stones, the most prime example of how a band from the 60s gets through the decades successfully – and how Keith Richards remains alive all these years is a mystery to me. Even tree climbing is too much for this guy, and he still bounces back.
In retrospect, maybe it’s good that the careers of certain musicians and bands ended when it did.
Their legacies still live on and their music literally gives us a soundtrack for turning points in time, be it in the music industry or in society.
Music defines generations, and with it memories about the way it was.
Heck, Pearl Jam’s still my favorite band.
Now, if you excuse me, I’ve got to get back to my Ziggy Stardust record.

Crying you an ocean

2008-08-15T10:32:00.003-04:00

Can you blame our youth of today complaining there’s nothing to do in this town?

Let me throw some places out for you, and see if they ring any bells.

Fantasy Zone, Denny’s, Perkins, Jumpers, Montgomeryville Mart, Lans-Bowl, Town & Country Lanes.

Remember these?

Here’s more: American Billiards,
Billiard
City , St. Marie’s Club.

If you try to look for these places – with the exception of American Billiards – good luck.

They don’t exist anymore.

These were places to go for fun, once.

Boredom was never rampant with a place to shoot pool or play Laser Tag while battling your buddies at "Mortal Kombat" or "War Gods."

Everyone knew your name at places like Denny’s, which sat where Walgreen’s is at Route 309 and North Wales Road, and even Perkins, which was across the street where yet another bank has gone up.

And why, oh why, do none of these places exist anymore?

First thing that comes to mind: crime.

Could it be youth were having so much fun that they decided to make their own by fighting outside or sticking kids up for their money? Or maybe even the entertainment in this town wasn’t enough for them – so they made their own “fun.”

Fantasy Zone, which is where Outback Steakhouse is today at Five Points, was a great place. Arcades , birthday parties, Laser Tag – it was a fun place to go to kill the boredom.

Then, one day, it was gone.

Billiard City , which was over in the shopping center in New Britain where Genuardi’s is located, also had arcade games and a cool billiard hall. You could rock an X-Men arcade game while waiting for a table.

If you got bored there, you just took a trip down the street to American Billiards, located near Bennigan’s in the area where Ethan Allen furniture exists. There were more billiard tables there, and yes, arcade games too, and there was a good chance you’d meet someone you knew there while sinking the eight ball in the corner pocket and talking about the old days.

Yet, sadly, both those places no longer exist around here. American Billiards, though, has moved to Quakertown.

Remember the Montgomeryville Mart? I do. I used to go there with my grandparents as a youth. You’d walk out of there with a new treasure each time. Then it was destroyed by a fire, and never rebuilt.

Same can be said of Lans-Bowl. Another place to meet with friends, have a lot of laughs and play a couple games. That too burned to the ground and I’m sure it will never be rebuilt.

How about Town & Country Lanes? The owner of that property thought it’d be nice to sell off the land, and now we have Party City and a shopping center that already has a failed anchor store on the record.

My younger days saw my friends and I strolling around the Montgomery Mall. We’d circle the place three or four times, buying stuff here and there, but mostly people watching.

When we stopped into stores, which ones did we go into? Time Out arcade, Spencer’s Gifts, The Wall and Sam Goody.

Time Out, gone. Spencer’s, gone. The Wall and Sam Goody, gone and gone.

Afterward, we’d all meet up at Denny’s for a late night meal and more camaraderie.

All those great high school memories are now paved over and even now when I stand in Aisle Seven at Walgreen’s I think to myself, “I ate right here once” or “Right over there’s where I almost got in a fight.”

St. Marie’s Club in Lansdale , which is now a Muslim temple, used to be a place where local hardcore bands could play. Talk about a good time. Nope, no more.

Acme on Main Street? There used to be a club there called Jumpers, and rumor has it, Wu-Tang Clan played there once. It didn’t last that long.

There’s other things I, and others I know, miss too, like the high dive at Hatfield pool and the BEST store that was once at Airport Square.

Then there’s the things that were once around before my time that I kind of wish were still here: the 309 Cinema drive-in; The Tremont Inn; the West Point amusement park; the Hatfield Speedway; that baseball card shop that used to be next to The Trolley Stop; The Store a.k.a. The Old Mill which is now Towamencin Shopping Village, a place that used to sell more than just sports and camping supplies; and Big Pixie, the drive-up eatery where they used to take your order on rollerskates that was where the bridal shop is now across from Astor Place. Even Astor Place itself – now called Clubhouse Too – is another example.

The list goes on, and will be for ages.

Will we ever get our fun back? Will there ever be something for the kids?

Instead, we get pharmacies and banks galore. I never had so much fun cashing a check or picking up Advil.

Sure, visits to open space like Peace Valley Park are always an option, but who likes dodging goose gifts?

Heck, once upon a time it wasn't illegal to skateboard in Lansdale.

And how many times can you really cruise up and down Main Street for hours figuring out what to do?

I guess one thing still remains for us that can never be removed and is perhaps all we’ve got: our youthful spirit.

Here's what you don't get ...

2008-05-03T13:11:00.002-04:00

So, February was the last time I visited my blog. And now I'm back like a bad habit.

I'm on vacation in the Finger Lakes, and decided to check my email and visit The Reporter Online.

After doing some spring cleaning on my blog, I'm taking the time to respond to a recent "Sound Off" item by an anonymous poster.

It seems that within mere weeks of starting a column on the Teen Page, I have published something that rubbed someone the wrong way.

In a recent column on my experience visiting a photo ID center for my license, I made light of the fact that the worker there that controls the printer for the licenses will be the one renewing it so that I may get into bars for the next four years.

Granted, perhaps this column could have been placed elsewhere in the paper, but what Ms. Anonymous doesn't know is that our paper is trying to attract a younger group of readers, older teens and young adults included.

The column was about an experience I had, not about using an ID to get drunk -- and the Sound Off caller assumes I drive drunk, which is a bashing upon my character. She was probably drunk when she left her Sound Off item, but that's neither here nor there.

The point is, the column was to bring to comedic light an experience that not everyone gets when they visit these places, including young 16 year old drivers experiencing that moment for the first time in their lives.

And furthermore, the "relic of the past" was a reference to the old Stevie Wonder POSTER, not Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Do me a favor next time -- reread the column and get it right in your head before lashing out.

Or get a life.

From the Back of the Room.. to the Front

2008-02-08T16:41:00.001-05:00

So it's been a while since I've been on here, writing whatever comes into my thick skull.

Forgive me, I've been busy. I was the recipient of a promotion to layout editor, albeit I still write features once in a while. But no more of those incessant, monotonous municipal meetings that I've covered for the past 5 years!

If you've been reading the Lifestyle pages, then you've been witnessing my work. It's a little odd going from writing two stories a day to laying out four pages a day, like switching from tighty whities to boxer briefs or eating strictly vegan instead of meat.

Yet, like Peter Parker's Uncle Ben told him, with great power comes great responsibility. It's been a challenge in laying out the pages and meeting deadline, but it's more exciting and interesting because it's something I've always wanted to do, and now the wheels are in motion.

On Friday, Feb. 8, I had the task of laying out Saturday and Monday lifestyle. While I stressed about it the night before, here I am a half-hour before the end of my workday, relieved that everything went well and the pages are done. I CAN do this, and I can't wait to do it again.

So, for those of you who like me, and like my writing, all I can say is check the front page once in a while for my name. It'll be there randomly. Otherwise, my essence is there when you read the comics or a lifestyle story over milk and cookies before bed, cereal in the morning or while eating your cheesesteak during lunch.

I guess now I'll literally see you in the funny pages.

The Buck Doesnt Stop Here

2007-12-06T09:57:00.000-05:00

To the individual who called into "Sound Off" complaining that the deer picture on a recent front page was too much for them: Get a life.

You are probably the same person who complains when we feature child molesters, rape cases and other taboo topics on our front page. If you don't like it, there's a solution: don't read it.

This is a diverse community, everyone knows that. It wouldn't be right for us to not feature every hobby and aspect of our readers' lives. I didn't hear you complain when the story on a Telford taxidermy shop hit the press.

THe issue over dead deer and hunting is one that pops up every season, and we usually run a pic of a hunter and his/her prize in our pages. It's a sport, much like baseball or hockey or ultimate fighting.

And the picture wasn't that bad. I mean it could have been worse, like showing the entry point made by the bullet or the gutted-out body cavity. Plus, the picture went with a story about Nanny's big buck contest, something which we have covered for years and something that deserves coverage in our paper.

Don't you have better things to complain about?

Yet I guess if we aren't causing people to call in and complain, then we aren't doing our job.

What do you think about publishing pictures of hunters and their prizes?

Lansdale or Norristown?

2007-10-09T17:45:00.000-04:00

Have you looked at the police log in the papers this past week? Robberies, breaking and enterting, theft, car theft ... it reads like something out of Norristown.

What's happening to our town? People can't walk out of a business they own without getting robbed? A man can't take his BINGO proceeds home because a black man robbed them from him outside St. Stan's church? Outside a church!!

Bikes taken from schools, vehicles taken from performance and car shops ... what, now we have chop shops in our town? Not even your car is safe at a business anymore. And is the business responsible for your stolen car?

I fear that we may not be able to walk the streets of our town safely anymore. Have the demons and trash from Philly and Norristown permeated our sanctity known as Lansdale? Maybe we do need cops ... tell them to quit wasting time parking in yellow-striped areas between lanes on Broad Street during rush hour and use that time later in the evening to patrol the towns. Hell, I could do a better job with the amount of time wasted driving around town because there's nothing to do around here?

I also fear that soon we'll have to band together as a community and take back our streets. We don't have a Batman or signalized spotlights to shine in the sky. We don't have surveillance cameras at every corner. All we have is our own eyes and courage, and hopefully that will be enough. We don't want Lansdale to become the next Norristown, but Norristown is becoming the next Philly.

Will our community be here in five years?

My Past Coming Back to Taunt Me

2007-10-04T10:01:00.000-04:00

Well, they've finally done it this year. They've finally taken childhood fantasies and turned them into multimillion dollar blockbusters.
It's something you wished could've been done when you were a kid and the movie was the one playing in your head.
Who would've thought a movie like Transformers would create a universal sensation? It's perhaps the first celluloid feature to be adapted from a line of action figures.
But it isn't going to be the only one.
Hollywood has dug into my childhood and it now sees dollar signs in the flashy, bright cartoons of the three-year period starting in 1984.
With the success of Transformers, producers and screenwriters are no longer dipping their toes into the pool - they're doing cannonballs into it.
Comic books, yet another childhood hobby, has already proven successful thanks to the masses who rushed to the cinaplexes for the Spider-Man movies, the X-Men features and any other Marvel or DC Comics superhero. At long last, nerdy was all-embracing.
Michael Bay, the director of Transformers, has already said there'll be no sequel. He knows something we don't know - he's become the trendsetter.
There's talk of bringing Thundercats and G.I. Joe to the silver screen, and even IMDB (an ubermovie fan Eden) lists both coming out in 2010.
Plus, mega-producer Joel Silver (The Matrix) announced an interest in remaking Masters of The Universe. He-Man! Too bad Dolph Lundgren is too busy these days.
In thinking about it, it's almost too good to be true, yet I remain both jealous and skeptical at the same time.
If only I were a Hollywood player, then I could develop a kick-ass Thundercats, He-Man and G.I. Joe film. Hell, I just watched the animated G.I. Joe movie the other day, and yeah, I still have my action figures (Hey, a mint-condition He-Man figure garners upwards of $300).
But does Hollywood really know these cartoons like the fans really do? The fans that sat down in front of the TV in footie pajamas with a bowl of Frankenberry and tousled hair, the ones that literally bought into the marketing of these cartoons and wasted their grandparents' money on plastic-molded toys, the ones who role-played these characters in backyards with friends. Hell, I was known to just shout "By the Power of Greyskull" at any given moment, and even hold my sister's Barbies hostage in the G.I. Joe fort (but she always got powerbombed by Cobra anyway).
The thing is, bringing a cartoon to life on the screen, CGI or live-action, is going to first attract the people who were there from the start. Then it'll be a worldwide phenomena, and I'm just not ready for it. I was pissed when I saw Optimus Prime cameo in a Pontiac commercial. He must have needed the money.
Yet the people who know the adapations will surely judge, probably because they want it as perfect as it was in their head when they were a kid. I know that's my biggest qualm.
So here's some suggestions Hollywood, before you go and ruin what mornings as a kid was all about. Keep true to the original cartoon, villains, warts and all. Yeah, you may not like that villain's origin or the hero's back story, but don't change it because you think something more modern would be cooler.
Don't make up some characters and throw them in for effect. It's confusing.
Please don't sell out to car companies, fast food joints and other conglomerates. I don't need Cobra Commander to entice me into buying a supersize Big Mac meal. Even worse, I dont need actors in commercials pretending to care about a new He-Man Edition Jeep. Poseurs.
Here's hoping that Hollywood big wigs with deep pockets and dollar sign eyes know exactly what to do.
And if you need some advice, talk to the source. I dont remember much, but I sure can recall the greatest battle I ever had on a blue carpet in a second-floor Towamencin bedroom.
Now they know, and that's half the battle.

Cracker Jack Drivers

2007-09-06T15:49:00.000-04:00

so i want to talk quickly about the plague of our community. No, not overdevelopment. Nope, not skewed politics.

I'm talking about idiot drivers. You know the kind. You see them everywhere.

Like at the mall, for instance. I was there recently and drove around the perimeter road and came to the stop sign at the second entrance near Boscov's. Now, coming in off North Wales Road there is no stop sign.
So why did this idiot in a minivan stop and wait for me to go.
I flung my arms about and motioned for her to go ... then I mouthed something unholy at her as she passed.

Do people even look at what they are doing? I'm not about to even start on cell phone drivers ...

I titled this "Cracker Jack Drivers" because I put these people in the same category as New Jersey drivers ... people who must have gotten their driver licenses from a box of Cracker Jacks.

If only the police gave out tickets for stupidity behind the wheel, then our prisons would REALLY be overcrowded.

superbadassssssssssssss

2007-08-28T14:50:00.000-04:00

for once, last night was worth going to the movies.

there's this little movie out called SUPERBAD, maybe you've heard of it (At least 7 million people have with the $68 million box office mark)
in a spontaneous decision, a group of us went to see this no-doubt-in-my-mind classic.
I havent laughed that hard in a theater since i dont know when. I cant even describe the originality of this thing; it captured the flair of being a teenager in these modern times: the drunken parties are just how you know them to be, the nervousness of talking to a chick you like is relative, and the buddy-buddy antics and conversations of best friends are just as mouth-soap-washing worthy as you could want them to be.
Yeah, i could say it's Animal House meets American Pie, but that wouldnt be doing it justice... it's one of a kind.
its a movie that makes you laugh, either because you appreciate the real, down-to-earth dialogue, or because you've shared a similar experience with a character in the movie, or perhaps because it's rare a movie makes you think of your youth and friendships, and how it's important to make the most of it all now.
The 95-minute-long classic is much like another great movie, Dazed and Confused, in which it accounts the lives of friends, their conflicts and subsequent resolutions in one day. Two best buds, nearing graduation and the onset of college, must come to terms with the separate paths each will be taking, but not before one last chance to woo their crushes at the big beer party. They only need to use their friend's fake ID to get the alcohol first. Antics ensue.
This movie is worth your $8.75, for once, and you'll probably see it again. It's that superbadass.

If only I had thought of McLovin first ...