Wherefore art though, Johan?

Maybe the Sox aren't getting Johan Santana after all. This thing has dragged out long enough, you would think that if a deal was going to work it would have been agreed to by now.

And while a daily news report comes out quoting prominent Yankees saying the team needs someone like Santana, and doesn't need someone like Santana, word is that the Yankees might be back in the game.

Despite another point-of-no-return, drop-dead deadline set by Hank Steinbrenner.
Despite word that the Yankees aren't adding any more prominent players to the package, i.e., no Joba Chamberlain or bet the farm package of Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes.

And despite the fact Santana is reportedly seeking a seven-year, $140 million deal in exchange for agreeing to waive his no-trade clause.

OK, so that last one is obviously not a hindrance to the Yankees. Who cares if you have $415 million tied up in only two players. If that doesn't work, the Steinbrenners could buy the entire roster of the Florida Marlins for the next 40 years and make it their new Minor League system.

There are obvious risks in offering any 28-year-old pitcher a seven-year deal for that much money.

But look at it in the light of today's Major League Baseball. You can buy a lot of Human Growth Hormone with $140 million.

Candidates emerge for Torre's replacement

Joe Torre is likely out after 12 years "managing" the largest payroll in baseball.
Don't believe any of that talk about Joe Girardi or Don Mattingly taking over this team.
Here are some of the top contenders for his job:
- DR. PHIL: Who better to help A-Rod with his self-esteem issues, and manage A-Rod's relationship with Derek Jeter?
- BUCKY DENT: Hey, he's been a manager in the farm league system, and Yankees fans have been living off his memory for years, so why not give the guy a chance?
- ISIAH THOMAS: OK, wrong sport, but he's already very familiar with the New York media, his personal shenanigans might take some of the attention away from the Yankees losing, and all that time he spends in a courtroom instead of managing would eliminate the middle man and allow Brian Cashman to run the team.
- JORGE POSADA: This one's half-serious. Why not a player-manager, a la Pete Rose? Posada doesn't get enough credit for calling victories while working with a rotation of 900 different pitchers this season, some of whom were about 14 years old. And meanwhile, he batted .338.
- A WET NURSE: Joba Chamberlain, Ian Kennedy, Phil Hughes. Next year's Yankees are barely out of kindergarten. Someone's got to take care of them.
- AN ATM MACHINE: Oh, wait, an endless supply of cash has been managing this team for years.

God hates the Yankees

It was Maine Sen. George Mitchell who said to Oliver North that "God doesn't take sides in politics."

Now George Mitchell is investigating steroid use.

And God is taking sides in Major League Baseball.

OK, this has nothing at all to do with steroids or George Mitchell.

But who can deny that Divine Intervention came into play Friday night as the Yankees lost to go down 0-2 vs. Cleveland and be on the brink of having their season ended.

The game was even - a pitchers' duel - and the Yankees had gotten as good an outing as they could have asked for from Andy Pettitte.

Their phenom fireballer, Joba Chamberlain, was on the mound, and he's been unhittable.

Yankee fans everywhere were starting to think about pitching matchups against the Boston Red Sox, jumping ahead to a prospective ALCS.

And God looked down on Jacobs Field, and sent a swarm of insects left over from one of the plagues on Egypt, to smote the Evil Empire.

Blinded by swarming bugs, Joba started throwing wild pitches, and the rest is playoff history.

NEWS FLASH: Joba is human

Cleveland Indians' Grady Sizemore, left, slides home to score on a wild pitch by New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain, right, in the eighth inning of Game 2 of an American League Division Series baseball game Friday in Cleveland. (AP Photo)

It's true about them young pitchers

It's true. Young pitchers today are a bunch of pussies!
And we're not even trashing the Yankees with this post.
No sooner did we write about the Joba Rules and how ridiculous it was to treat rookie phenom pitchers like they have the body of a 4-year-old girl than news broke that Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz will miss the rest of the season due to "shoulder fatigue."
They let him pitch (horrors!) a full nine innings so he could get that no-hitter, and there you go, he's ruined for life.
Too young to settle into a good steroid regimen?

Obligatory comment on Joba Rules

The "Joba Rules," restricting young pitching prospects to strict pitch count limits and required resting periods before appearance, have got to go, say columnists and bloggers. Why? Because Yankees fans have been so damn insecure, and rightly so, about their team's chance of success in the playoffs this year, or even making the playoffs.
The Joba Rules are a wise stewardship not of the Yankees' chances this year, but of the entire future of the franchise and playoff races for years to come, according to other columnists and other bloggers.
Coming from a perspective of not giving a crap if the Yankees win now or later, here's the real truth about the Joba Rules:
Today's young pitchers are apparently a bunch of pussies.
Are they that fragile?
Come on.
Is Major League Baseball's history littered with the untold stories of countless young pitching prospects whose arms were blown out and futures ruined along with their teams because in the old days managers and owners didn't buy into any of this pansy nonsense?
Are we prepping these guys for their coming out in the debutante ball or are they athletes competing in a man's sport?
Maybe that Dorothy dress the Yankees had Ian Kennedy wear the other day is more appropriate than any of us knew.

Chamberlain, Kennedy, Duncan, Hughes

Ahead of playoffs, Yankees rookies get used to abuse

Use up those pitchers now

Regardless of the outcome of tonight's game against Toronto (still tied at 4-4 in the top of the 13th inning), the Yankees come out losers.
While Red Sox Manager Terry Francona openly admitted prior to tonight's 8-1 blowout victory over Tampa Bay that he's resting his key pitchers and offensive stars such as Manny Ramirez for the playoffs even if that means losing the AL East lead and settling for the Wild Card.
If the Yankees, also virtually assured of the playoffs one way or the other, are taking a different approach, it will come back to bite them in the postseason as it has in past years.
They've already used seven pitchers in tonight's game, including stars Torre would typically reserve only for protecting a lead and sealing the victory, i.e., Joba Chamberlain and Mariano Rivera.
And meanwhile, despite Boston's approach, they won easily tonight, even though they were up against just as dominating a pitcher in Kazmir as the Yankees faced in Toronto's Halladay.

Joba Chamberlain? Outta here!

Young Joba Chamberlain earned his pinstripes yesterday.

Congratulations, rookie, you're officially a Yankee asshole.

After throwing two near-100 mile an hour fastballs at the head of Kevin Youkilis, Major League Baseball suspended Chamberlain for two games today.

There's more than one point to be made about this one:

- First of all, what was Youkilis' crime? Playing with hustle. Youkilis is the anti-Yankee. He's the type of player who has put the Red Sox in first place this year and the type of player who helped them win a World Series in 2004. In his world, you run like hell on every ground ball and pop fly. These overpaid, lifeless, passion-less Yankees hate guys like him. He's the anti-Yankee. So apparently, Chamberlain was throwing at Youkilis because 1) he slid safely into first after Giambi was pulled away from the base on another Yankee throwing error and had to try to tag him, and 2) he ran outside the base line to avoid a tag by A-Rod later in the inning, was called safe, and then called out when the umpires reversed themselves.

- Throwing a 100 mile an hour fastball at someone's head is a hell of a lot different than someone like Jamie Moyer or Tim Wakefield throwing a 75 mile an hour pitch at someone's head.

- Joba is clearly learning from the best when it comes to gutless American League headhunters. Roger Clemens is the most infamous guy in modern Major League Baseball for doing this kind of thing.

- The penalties handed down by Major League Baseball in the case of both Chamberlain and Clemens earlier this season will do nothing whatsoever to stop guys from getting thrown at. Chamberlain wasn't going to pitch the next two days anhow because of Brian Cashman's restrictions on the number of pitches he can throw. Clemens is a starting pitcher. His five-game suspension meant that he missed one scheduled start ... really, he just got an extra day of rest.

- Did this rookie throw at Youkilis on his own? Is that really his instinct after two seconds in the league? Very, very doubtful. This has Joe Torre's fingerprints all over it, and he deserved a suspension also. And his suspensions should be doubled the second time (remember his part in Clemens' shenanigans earlier this season), and be tripled the third time.

Mussina yanked from starting rotation

NEW YORK (AP) - Mike Mussina is out. Call up another kid.
The New York Yankees dropped a struggling Mussina from their rotation Tuesday, turning to touted prospect Ian Kennedy over a pitcher with 247 major league wins - in the middle of a pennant race.
Bold move. But not out of character for the Yankees lately.
Kennedy, who spent most of last year playing college ball at USC, will be called up from the minors to start in Mussina's place Saturday against last-place Tampa Bay. He'll join a pitching staff that already features rookies Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain and Edwar Ramirez in key roles.
Not long ago, the big-budget Yankees always seemed to favor experienced veterans over unproven talent. Now, they're hanging their playoff hopes on a pack of young arms - and the 38-year-old Mussina has been shoved aside.
"He was disappointed, naturally. This was very difficult for me," manager Joe Torre said. "We have relied on him every year since he's been here."
Following three terrible starts in a row by Mussina, Torre told the five-time All-Star he'll be passed over when his next turn in the rotation comes up. The right-hander declined to comment Tuesday night as he left the clubhouse after a 5-3 victory over Boston that pulled New York closer in the playoff chase.
The Yankees won the series opener behind stopper Andy Pettitte, and 45-year-old Roger Clemens gets the ball Wednesday night against his original team. Josh Beckett, seeking his 17th win, will be on the mound for Boston.
The Yankees are one game behind Seattle, the AL wild-card leader, and seven back of the first-place Red Sox in the AL East. But as the Bronx Bombers get set for the September stretch drive, Chien-Ming Wang is the only pitcher left from last year's rotation.
Because of injuries and ineffectiveness, rookie pitchers have started 41 games for the Yankees this season. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, that's the most for the club since rookies started 54 times in 1991 on a team that finished 20 games below .500.
Plus, three relatively green hitters have become regulars in the 2007 lineup: Robinson Cano, Melky Cabrera and Andy Phillips.
Kennedy, a first-round draft pick last year, relies on good control. He will be called up from Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, where he was 1-1 with a 2.08 ERA in six starts.
"He's got great mound presence," said Chamberlain, the hard-throwing relief sensation who called Kennedy his best friend. "He understands how to pitch and how to get outs. He's going to come up and do a great job. It's going to be exciting to see."
Kennedy, a 22-year-old right-hander who began the season in Class-A, pitched last Saturday for Scranton. How long he stays in the Yankees' rotation will depend on how well he performs.
Torre didn't say whether he would consider using Mussina out of the bullpen. The manager said he told his former ace: "`Keep doing what you're doing. Keep doing your work. Keep doing your throwing so you don't lose that, the arm strength part of it.'"
Cerebral and finicky, Mussina was the team's top starter not long ago, but he has faded fast. After going 15-7 with a 3.51 ERA last season, he is 8-10 with a 5.53 ERA this year. He has a 17.69 ERA in his past three starts, struggling with velocity and control.
Before the game, Torre said he wanted to speak with Mussina about his recent slump before making a decision. He said the pitcher "earned that conversation" because of "who he is and what he's done."
"I just want to hear how he feels, and from there we'll talk about what we're going to do," Torre said before the game.
"Some conversations are difficult to have," he added. "I hope he makes it easy on me."
Mussina's last three starts have been particularly alarming. He has allowed 19 earned runs in 9 2-3 innings spanning two outings against the hard-hitting Detroit Tigers and one against the Los Angeles Angels.
Before this slide, Mussina won four straight starts - giving up eight runs in all - and improved to 8-7.
Does he simply need a breather, or is he washed up? The latter is what Yankees fans are afraid of, especially since Mussina has a year remaining on his $23 million, two-year contract.
"I know he's probably looked at some video to see if there's anything with his mechanics," Torre said. "He's obviously at times trying to make more perfect pitches than he's probably capable of making."
Mussina and Torre have both said they think the right-hander has more productivity left, but the Yankees decided they couldn't afford to wait for him to find his form.
His latest flop, three ineffective innings Monday night in a 16-0 loss at Detroit, dropped Mussina to 0-7 following Yankees losses this year. It also left him visibly dejected. Mussina said he would "understand" if Torre went with another pitcher next time through the rotation.
"You like to be loyal to all your players. But loyalty to all 25 comes before loyalty to any individual," Torre said.

Hilarious

Most teams can bank on a win if they end up scoring 9 runs in a game.

Not the Yankees. In fact, New York's pitching staff gave up twice that last night. Starting with Mussina lasting less than two innings and leaving the Yankees with a 7-1 deficit. Then Villone gave up 4 runs, Ramirez 2 and Henn another 5 runs with three innings of mopup duty.

One Angel, Garrett Anderson, hit the Yankees' pitchers like they were serving up beach balls and ended the night with 10 RBIs.

How quickly all the gloating about Joba Chamberlain's success and the Red Sox having bad luck with the acquisition of Eric Gagne gives way to reality.

And the reality is that the Yankees are 14th in team ERA, 21st in allowing walks, fifth worst in the Majors in striking batters out, second to last in saves and 20th in team ERA in the seventh through ninth innings. (thanks, Mariano, and good luck on that contract extension).

With victories by Boston and by Seattle, the Yankees drop another two games back in both the A.L. East race and the Wild Card.

Good times.