Also.. because I know you're looking for it
For those of you that want, no... NEED to see this photo in much higher detail, here it is in all of it's awkward glory.
FEAST your eyes on the skilled photography by the kind ladies in our design department...
MARVEL at the complete lack of joy in the faces of Editor Reichl and Managing Editor Hessinger...
SQUINT at the distinct "action" poses by news staff (Note: not ACTION news).
...
BONUS: What is the mystery surrounding Hessinger's raised hand? And what is he reaching towards? Berks-Mont scientists ponder if we unravel that conundrum, we might be able to successfully decode the human genome.
FEAST your eyes on the skilled photography by the kind ladies in our design department...
MARVEL at the complete lack of joy in the faces of Editor Reichl and Managing Editor Hessinger...
SQUINT at the distinct "action" poses by news staff (Note: not ACTION news).
...
BONUS: What is the mystery surrounding Hessinger's raised hand? And what is he reaching towards? Berks-Mont scientists ponder if we unravel that conundrum, we might be able to successfully decode the human genome.
posted by Boyertown Times Editor at
1:14 PM
42 Comments:
I'll bite! Did someone just ask if anyone in the room weighs over three bills?
Here's my choice for a caption box:
"Raise your hand if you've abandoned a website today!"
I almost didn't see this guy. The camoflage bag almost turns him into a ninja. With it on, I can barely make him out next to all the 1980's computers and log cabin siding that's plastered on the walls.
I know why he's raising his hand. From his shape, I'd say he raises his hand 10 times on both sides and calls that exercise for the day.
I'm guessing someone off screen asked who ruined the toilet seat in the mens room....
Does anyone think that in a world where inanimate objects had a soul, his belt would be crying for help right now?
Maybe someone asked who was going as Uncle Fester for the tenth Halloween this decade.
Wait...Is the READING OFFICE actually inside the box?
I know what he's doing! Type in "Big Show" and 'bald' in Google, then go to the pics. He's imitating that wrestler dude!
I figured out why he's raising his hand. Someone asked if anyone was wearign a tie that gave children seizures if they stared at it for any length of time.
Maybe someone was holding him up, but he couldn't raise both arms because he was covering up his gut with that stack of papers.
Do you think that someone just asked who lost their virginity last week?
Maybe? Anyone?
Buleller? Bulller?
Wait, I don't think he's holding up his hand, he's actually showing us how many people are hiding behind him.
I once read that some people believe striped ties make you look thinner. Maybe he was agreeing that he fell for that line too.
I'll bet someone asked if he could touch his toes, and when he realized he can't even SEER his toes, he opted to touch the ceiling instead.
Forget about the fat guy...look at the freakin' soot around that ceiling fan. Where is this paper published...three mile island?
Raise your hand if you've ever been asked to leave the all-you-can eat buffet...
Anyone noticing the hair growing off this guy's arms? Maybe he was just letting his back hair airdry.
God...is this the guy's Sunday best?!? What's he wear on casual Friday? A paint smock and work boots?!?
I know.. I know... maybe someone asked the room if anyone was wearing as many colors as humanly possible that all don't match or go with each other.
This fashion trainwreck neds Queer Guy for the...well...Queer Guy.
Before the poster above pointed out the camo bag, I thought the large guy needed a belt and suspenders just to keep his pants up.
Why is he wearing camo in the first place? Does this guy have a quail shoot to go to after the big town hall meeting in Reading about which stoplight they plan on replacing this year?
I think I know what's going on here. The guy on the left is helping the guy on the right practice his lines for the local community theater production of Curly: My Life As A Stooge.
I know why he's raisign his hand. Someone just asked who wears jeans made from sewn together pool covers. You could fit the whole Berks-Mont staff in that right leg alone.
You people are cruel. Maybe he's just waving to his mom whose just come there to pick him up from work and take him back home.
I'm just surprised that there's enough material in that tie to wrap around that enormous head and still hang down below his belt. I
I think someone asked the room "Raise your hand if you look like what Professor X would really look like after being wheelchair-bound since 1963."
Is that a soul patch under this bald dude's bottom lip or left-over pudding from one of the seven snacks he obviously treats himself to each day?
Remember those "raise your hand if you're SURE" commercials for that deoderant? Maybe someone questioned if this guy looks like Uncle Fester and he's just raising his hand letting that person know that he's sure.
He looks like he's been caught flogging his staff and ruling them all with his iron fist. "Thy WILL give me that article on thee sinkhole they discovered in Quakertown, or God help thee, I shall strike thee down whereth ye stand, thy minion!"
I think someone asked the room how many pounds each person has gained in the past three hours.
I think you guys are all missing the point, the guy who wrote the article asks why the huge guy is pointing upward. I suspect some smart-ass taped donut up there and he's trying to reach it.
I imagine somewhere off to the side is a researcher timing how long it takes him to use a nearby chair to reach it.
I think the loser on the right started playing Simon Sez a few days ago and he's still waiting for someone to say Simon Sez put your arm down.
I think someone asked if anyone has ever found themselves beached on the sand and needed help from the Marine Wildlife Association.
I think he's just letting the blood rush back into his body.
Could he be doing one of those Sweatin' To The Oldies tapes? I think that's a step-class move for geriatric pateints that he's doing.
I think he's showing everyone how tall he used to be before his enormous weight collapsed his spine and left him a few feet shorter.
All I know is... if this is what being a journalist does to your body, I'd rather be illiterate. This guy's physique makes year-round coma patients look fit.
I think the photographer was asking for an action pose and this was the best he could come up with.
I've seen He-Man action figures that were more flexible than this chubby dude.
Notice the all the hair he's exposing by his open shirt sleeve? I think he's showing the world where he glues all the hair that falls off his head.
This guy looks like Cartman from South Park all grown up.
"Respect my authority!"
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