Well...that went well

For those who didn't check the blog last week, I played yesterday in the 2008 Jake Gittlen Memorial Golf Tournament on the East Course at Hershey Country Club. I qualified to play in it at the Elizabethtown Rotary Golf MAJOR last Monday, thanks to the stellar play of the other three people in my foursome. I took a notebook and pen along and tried to keep a running diary of the round. Here's what transpired:

• My playing partner, Don Cottle, and I arrived at the country club at around 6:30 a.m., which is insanely early for a person like me. Hey, I like to sleep in, what can I say. Anyway 6:30 a.m. to me is unchartered waters...and I was like a freaking zombie, but I downed a 24 oz. Diet Pepsi to wake me up, and I was ready to rock. Oh yeah.

• As I pulled into the Hershey CC, I immediately knew that it was too nice of a place for a dirtbag like me to be at. You ever get that feeling? You know, you pull into a parking lot filled with Mercedes', Lexus, Navigators, etc? But I pulled it off like I belonged (or so I think). So the caddy or whoever takes our bags and I get that uncomfortable feeling again. Do I tip him? Do I shake his hand? Too much to think about. I need a manual or something. God I'm awkward.

• We head in for a light breakfast of muffins and fruit. I guess they didn't want golfers to be too full before going out in the heat. Good idea, but I'm wishing for a few slabs of scrabble, some hash browns and about 4 or 5 fried eggs at that point. Also inside, they have the qualifying scores from Wednesday posted (qualifying for the weekend rounds was Wed. and Thurs.) I see the lowest score is a 68 and again realize that I'm out of my league. So I decided to scan the board for the absolute highest score, and shoot for that...

Scanning....75....77....80...oh boy....85....88...man, I'm going to finish dead last....wait, what's that...102! Yeah baby, that's my goal, shoot less than 102. Hey, mama always told me to shoot for the stars.

• In an effort to see how badly I was about to putt, Don and I head to the practice green with about 20 minutes to kill. My putter was actually working a little bit. I had no idea it would actually work on the course, but it did. Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Saw a guy in purple pants. Wow. Started thinking of Grimace, which led me to think of McDonald's, which led me to think of McGriddles. I need to lose weight.

• Head to the carts to meet the rest of our playing group, a guy named Carlos and Greg, who also qualified by playing in the Rotary tournament. Good times. Nice to see we weren't playing with snotty people who would get annoyed with my bad, slow play. We headed to tee off on Hole 9 and get our day started.

I notice on the scorecards, that my name was spelled "Chirs". This irritates me for some reason. I mean, didn't they think, "Hey who has the name Chirs. This guy's name is probably Chris, let's change it." Woe is me.

• Hole 9: First tee shot of the day was nice. Long and in the fairway. Hey, maybe I won't be so bad after all. I'm gonna destroy that 102...

Oh yeah, I forgot how much my short game stinks. I finally get on the green, but settle for a 7 on a par 4. Bad times.

• Hole 10: So much for hitting my driver well. But hey, my short game is much better here. If only I could put the 2 together. End with a 6 on a par 4. 102 sounds pretty good already.

• Hole 11: Short tee shot, but it went straight. One thing at a time, man. Second shot was just off the green, and my first chance for par! Starting to wake up now baby.

Crap, still end up with a 6. If these par 4s were par 6s, I'd be in good shape. Alas, they're not.

• Hole 12: Our first par 3 of the day. I hate par 3s. And I mean HATE. We're talking like the ninja turtles hated Shredder, that level of hate. Flub my tee shot and end up with a 5. I'm a double bogey machine. Guess that's not a good machine to be if I were to be a machine.

• Hole 13: We go from our first par 3 of the day to our first par 5. Actually a pretty respectable hole for me, as I start to swing the club a little better. End with a bogey on that hole.

• Hole 14: Hit my tee shot long, but waaaaaay right, and under some trees. Trees would eventually become my nemesis on the day, and I'm only now figuring this out. I played a punch shot through the trees, though. Sure, it was by accident, since I have zero idea how to actually hit a punch shot, but nevertheless, a punch shot it was.

• Hole 15: The wheels are starting to come off. There's a lake on the right here, and the first 2 guys plunked them in there, so immediately I know that if they do it (and they are good golfers), I'm destined to do it. I hit it dead at the lake, but it's a good thing I'm not very strong because it settles right in front of it, under some trees.

As I line up my shot, I see that I need to hit it low to get through the trees, but high enough to get over the lake and the bunker that's on the other side of it. Of course, I have no idea how to do this, or if it's physically possible. Hey, I'm a journalist, not a physicist. Anyway, I proceed to feed the fish my next two shots. Hope their hungry, and they like Nike golf balls. Shoot a 7 on a par 3. Consider jamming my tee into my ear.

• Hole 16: Look out, on in 3 and looking for a par putt. Struck the putt beautifully from about 25 feet and it lips out. Proceed to miss 8-inch bogey putt and end up three putting for a 6. Climb tree to retrieve putter. Apologize to putter. I need some, um, liquid refreshment soon (if you catch my drift).

• Hole 17: Another chance at par, but miss from about 5 inches. Would drive the golf cart into a lake if I was riding alone. Hershey CC is kicking my butt.

• Hole 1: Sting my tee shot, but, of course, it starts heading for water on the right. But it hits a rock and caroms straight out into the fairway. Feels strange playing a drive out of the fairway. Good times, though.

• Hole 4: What's this? Did I really just hit a 4-iron from the rough (shocker) onto the green in 2? Can you say birdie chance?

I can't, end up three putting for a 5. Decide to stop keeping track of holes because it's not a real good idea for me to be holding sharp objects like a pen anymore.

The rest of the day was pretty much like this. Up and down (mostly down). Don ended up showing me something that I was doing wrong, though, with about 5 holes to go – I wasn't transferring my weight through on the swing. After that, I played pretty well. If I keep practicing that swing, I can definitely improve.

I did hit a good tee shot on our last hole, which was No. 8, and finished the round with my first and only par of the day. Hey, one par is better than none. Baby steps people. Baby steps.

As I added up my score I finished with a ... drum roll please ... 103. Damn. I thought I was doomed to be dead last, but then two people went out and shot higher than me. That's right, not last baby! I finished 243 out of 245. Whew.

All in all though, it was a great day. Played with three great guys (who all shot in the 80s by the way, one (Greg) even made the cut at 81), and played at a beautiful golf course. And learned a few things along the way. I've only been playing semi-seriously for about a year or so (and by semi-seriously, I mean about 4 times a summer), so there's plenty of room for improvement. I'll get there one of these days.

If you want to see the full scores of the day, click here. As you'll see, Chirs finished down there at 243.

That's all for now. I'll post something Sunday or Monday on the E-town football scrimmage tomorrow. Until then, thanks for playing along E-town.