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Monday, November 16, 2009

Rise and Shine --- Ready for the rubber room

Good Morning and welcome to a new week!

For many, this time of year is incredibly stressful. The upcoming holidays combined with the start of winter (yeah, it's way too dark at 5 p.m.), can make the head feel like it's going to explode.
The mailman doesn't exactly help things out. Now, I know it's not his fault, but all those holiday catalogs now falling out of the mailbox only serve to rachet up the stress a few more notches. (Remember back in the day when there was one catalog, the Sears Wish Book? We waited all year for one. Now, they come every stinking day.)
Now, I know there are all these stories out there about the economy getting better. Retail stores are counting on it being real. One of the main reasons we get Christmas decorations and music blaring through the malls in September is because stores need this time of year to make their profit (overinflated as corporate honchos might make it).
The catalogs, though, are something else.
There are catalogs for everything from the fishing fan to the xylophone player in the house.
This weekend came one with so much overpriced junk it was mostly laughable. Aside from the remote-control, talking R2-D2, there was a personal ice-making machine. Now, ice is probably the easiest thing in the world to make. Why on earth would you need a personal ice machine.
What, you need to put it on your desk so you can have fresh ice every day? Can't walk to the refrigerator to fill up a cup? Can we get any lazier?
Later in the book, tucked on the bottom of one page was a Lionell train. Now, the holiday season makes those of a certain age (and many older) pine for the setting up of a model train. Their fun to put together and watch go around.
This train came with it's only table and 'outdoor' track scene. The train went around in a figure 8, through mountains and past a miniature train station.
The price on the bottom: $12,400.
That's not a misprint. $12,400.
The catalog quickly went into the trash.

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Rise and Shine --- Making a list

Good Morning and welcome to the day before the night before Thanksgiving!?!

Remember when the only time you were able to give Santa ideas for Christmas gifts was when the Sears catalog arrived in the mail. For those who don't know, it was a phone-book sized tome that had everything from appliances to zippers.
The clothes were in the front, but, much more importantly, the toys were in the back. In my memory, half the book was filled with pictures of toys. There were cars, trains, blocks, games, lions, tigers and bears, oh my. We spent hour after hour going through the book, making a list, crossing things out, making another list. There were toys to ask Santa for, there were toys to ask your grandparents for and there were toys for every interest.
When Christmas morning came along, most of the gifts were from the clothes front, but, hey, there were toys in there as well.
"Look, Dad, Santa brought the electric football game I always wanted!!!"
Of course, that electric football game never worked quite right. After setting up the plays and turning on the vibrating field, all the players 'ran' to the sidelines. Hey, it was still fun.
Now, though, there is no Sears catalog in the mail. Instead, it's been replaced by about 1,000 other catalogs that arrive on a daily basis. Every Web site that offers toys sends along a catalog.
Now, with three children who are making lists, crossing things out and making other lists, I long for the Sears catalog. At least it was all in one place. Now, there is a different list each day after 'reading' each catalog.
Yeah, our parents had it easy.
Then again, they didn't have this:
See more funny videos at Funny or Die


If you have any cool links or photos, send them along to onlinedelco@gmail.com

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