Local Author Spotlight: JOHN HENSEL
TALES OF A SUBURBAN GYPSY
A Story of Finding LOVE
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PART FOUR – FINAL INSTALLMENT
This book is dedicated to all the People (angels) who took the time to help me along my PATH.
Thanks for your Faith in me and the Laughs we had along the way.
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From: Notes to my Son
A TIMELINE TOWARDS DESTINY!
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SURVIVING is easy...
It’s LIVING that’s Hard!
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CHAPTER 5
‘KC IN THE SUNSHINE’
Do you want to dance?
Do you want to feel good about yourself?
'Do a little dance
make a little Love
get down tonite
get down tonite'
KC was the product of nothing when I ran into him working within a Miami record company (TK Records). I met KC and other companies like Carribean Cruise Lines from the beginning..just when they were launching there careers.
All KC had in ’72 was a dream in one hand and a broom in the other as he polished the floors in the warehouse. It didn’t matter. He was ‘in’ the industry that’s all he needed.
The next time I saw him he was filling a gap in schedules and became the opening act for ‘Stevie Wonder’ the same night I might have discussed earlier.
His act then was similar to a scene from a movie I saw years later ’Made in Heaven’ where Timothy Hutton is possessed with a song after he gets his first instrument while hitch-hiking to California sitting near Venice Beach he tries everything to create ‘the sound’ he is looking for.
Sitting for days playing to no one slowly the rhythm begins very, very slowly with a lot of stops and gaps in-between and this is similar to how KC began.
I thought he should have a monkey on his shoulder as the vast stage engulfed him making him look very small. He and his baby make-shift piano/organ were creating a new sound but in ’72 the sound was just a bump in the night and while people laughed at him and stared at this sight on stage I couldn’t help but wonder how strange life is and how amazing the business is because no matter who you are or where you come from your dreams can come true.
KC showed us how dreams can come true and I am so glad I had a glimpse of him while I was chasing mine.
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‘PLACES’
'My Soul is restless
but my Spirit is Free'
‘LTD and the RED ROCKS OF COLORADO’
I might have written about Jeff Osbourne and LTD before but our adventure in Colorado is note-worthy..
coming off a major rock festival in Bloomington, Indiana where LTD was the only R & B group on the bill and staying up for two days partying and being with two women in one night ( a first for me..I am obviously proud of) a maid at the motel we stayed was my first friend for the evening and a late-night waitress (the boyz in the band were going nuts over) who picked me up around 2 am or so from the bar near our motel.
Driving to Colorado at 6 am the same morning was filled with pleasurable pain and delirium as the band put me at the wheel of their equipment truck.
I am sure this chore was fueled by punishment from the band ( I was the road manager for this 12 piece black band out of LA) who now hated me because I had slept with the awesome waitress (oh well) as we drove our little caravan across the mid-west to reach the mountains of Colorado ( I still managed a smile on my face)..where we rendezvous with our next gig in downtown Denver.
The first approach to the Colorado landscape is very inspiring and over-whelming especially to a young man from NJ. was raised in low-lying areas beaches, hills, valleys and small cities.
When I lived in So. Florida we used to joke about how flat it was and that Miami's biggest hill was a speed-bump (it's true).
Major cities blend together, New York, Chicago, Philly..buildings, streets, rivers, people all mesh and create a fabric and atmosphere of their own identity called Life..Mountains are another thing and as we left extremely flat land across America's mid-section and entered Colorado I wondered how our little Ryder truck would make it up the grade it was so immense..
Traveling up and into the Colorado in a slow moving vehicle seems like forever so we just kept pushing the grade and came over the ridges into Denver located in the middle of giant mountains.
Going on a day and a half of no sleep I settled the band into their hotel and grab a strong power nap to try and get rid of the 'road' and from that I decide to head out into the city to explore and find the Red Rocks of Colorado..
I was on two missions that day..
1. To see this interesting structure which housed a natural rock-made amphitheatre
2. To find the concert site where my friend Marc (an old road buddy), manager of Seals & Crofts was playing that evening..
My pal and tour guide for the day was a young man named Joe who had helped LTD load in and set-up for the following night's show..he guided me to 'The Rocks' which he claimed he was familiar with and after a little bit we arrived..
The outside of 'The Red Rocks' is deceiving for all you can see is a ridge of rocks and boulders going straight up towards the sky. Looking up, my competitive nature comes out and I stupidly said "Do you want to race up." Thinking I could beat him ..Joe said "Ok..let's go" and up we climbed.
As we left I ambled behind..keeping with him for a few seconds then like lightning he was gone..up, up and out of sight like a human billy goat.
My sight left him and focused on my own footing which was dangerously important at the time for I was walking on sharp rocks and small crevices that surrounding my every step..as the minutes ticked by I felt like an ant crawling on an iceberg.
I heard laughter and looked at the top where Joe was watching me laughing.." What's taking you" I think he said. "It's only a little bit further".
I dug in and climbed further towards the top of the grade.
Joe it turned out was a native to the area and the 'Red Rocks' was his ‘yard’.
He motioned me further and said..."Look at this' and in the same breath suggested I look over the top.
Naturally there was a 'regular entrance' to the Red Rocks but for some reason I had a very strong desire to climb them on the exterior.
I'm glad I did.
Looking down, I could see a stage. The height we were at made the platform seem miniature but you could see it spread out built naturally from the formation of this magnificent and huge structure. Thousands of seats cascaded from the stage area and spread through the immense amphitheater.
Standing over the 'Rocks' Joe showed me small pigeon hole areas where people would sneak up to hear and see a show as well as anyone who had bought a ticket.
He also told me people had fallen to their death from these perches after a wild night and my stomach made my mind remember my fear of heights that had haunted me over the years.
I gulped again and timidly asked if we could climb down soon since I would be back tonight anyway to see the show.
THE SHOW
Sometime in the evening I wondered back to the 'Red Rocks'. This time I walked in fashionably as Marc left backstage passes for a friend and I. We were ushered through the paying customers like royalty.
The music industry can be rewarding. I have seen amazing performances from Coast to Coast backstage and onstage eating the food and drinking the drink with many performers and their supporters.
Life is like that. I learned early on that it's not what you know …
it's Who you know that counts.
Moving thorough candle-light catacombs looking for Marc and the band was interesting as we followed an echo of laughter and music through the rock maze and as the aroma of food heightened we stumbled onto my friend hanging out with his band who was playing softly against the acoustic backdrop of the structure turning their talents into a new dimension of sound and their souls into little children.
Seals and Crofts, played throughout the night sounding like cupids who were sitting in the clouds as the audience embraced their every sound.
I remember the brilliance of the Colorado star that provided our ceiling with the magic of the 'rocks' enhancing the melodies in an almost a mystical yet haunting way.
Marc, Cyndy (his wife) and I sat on stage eating, laughing and giggling well into the night - happily caught up in the magic of it all.
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‘ELTON JOHN and the DANCING PUPPETS’
The 70’s brought with it live performances that were coast to coast non-stop and when Elton reached our shores to promote recent releases of “Good-bye Yellow Brick Road” and “….Piano Player” a British tidal wave hit America leading him straight to Miami and directly to our site at the Sportatorium.
This arena was fast becoming a landmark for music and the bigger venues in town.
I saw the Moody Blues, Doors and Jefferson Airplane when I first got to town and now that I was in the business I met and worked with everybody who was anybody.
The heat rose fast the morning of Elton’s arrival and our crew came early to prepare for the ‘storm’. Preparation was paramount. I put 8 more people on the payroll to give us a total of 14 bodies to haul, secure and assist with the Brit’s needs.
We were there in force But nothing I mean nothing could prepare us for an evening with Elton John.
His troops and tech’s brought an arsenal of equipment, electronics, sound and lights that could run a small city.
As the hot day (90 degrees) slowly shifted into the evening people came and the crowd swelled arriving by the thousands.
To say it was a party atmosphere is an understatement.
By 6pm the arena of 5000 was filled but still people were coming and in their glee and greed ‘the promoters’ kept selling tickets. Thousands of tickets. I don’t think the fire marshals were in town that week-end for nothing was going to stop ticket sales.
I lost track of the actual count - all I know is people pushed awkwardly to the front of the stage in a crushing wave of excitement.
By 8pm music from the amps filled the arena with a melody. The only chance for ventilation was a slight breeze from the backstage area as the temperature kept soaring.
With little thought I assembled our crew on the lip of the stage to help with any crowd problems - which began almost immediately. The first causality fainted as the girl’s boyfriend handed me her lifeless body - before long dozens more succumbed to the stifling heat.
In a swift fireman drill motion our squad escorted people of all sizes to the back.
Tall, big, short, strong or frail dozens if not more passed out.
One team would stay with each victim until they were revived while another kept scooping others over the stage area and out of harms way.
By now all of us were drenched with sweat and down to pants and shoes.
I prayed that any second Elton would appear.
With the lights slightly dim we kept the assembly line going while looking for trouble spots in the crowd.
Leaning down to pick-up another victim I felt my pants split straight through the crouch.
With no time to think I somehow tied a t-shirt around my waist.
Turning again towards the front a number of things happened at once - Elton walks on stage immediately hit by blinding lights and the sound of Miami to greet him.
I stood a few yards away feeling and looking naked. The split in my pants seemed as large as the Grand Canyon.
There was no time to move, run or think. Luckily I had enough brains left to grab a small speaker and sit on it maybe 20 yards from his piano and as it turned out most of the performance.
During the show it seemed the concert was my own special moment as I watched in amazement the energy and creative flow from this giant superstar.
If you have seen films from this period then you would appreciate the theatrics.
Time would prove Elton to be the biggest showman of the day.
Townsend started the party by smashing guitars. ELP added a 2-3 ton drum set that rotated with the beat and Elton brought with him a fun-loving entourage that hit the stage halfway through each show.
For an hour I was blinded by lights frozen in my seat next to him obviously to scared to move but enjoying the hell out of it.
STILL I did want to leave. Soon I got my chance.
With the crowd erupting to “Crocodile Rock’ a half dozen 9 ft. Dancing Puppets came out to greet us dancing to the song. Lights surged, music lifted and there was no possible way to control the crowd. At this point I knew I could go unnoticed and jumped over the speaker and into the safety of the backstage.
Our crew could do no more to secure the crowd so we joined in and partied with Miami until it was time to tear it all down and load up Elton for another city..
I don’t think Miami has been the same since…
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‘LOS ANGELES...1975’
I had drifted into sleep for a minute and caught myself waking to laughter next to a crazy Irianian girl wiggling and giggling on my armrest – CALIFORNIA.
My next destination in life.
Partying on the plane across country to this new land helped me get through the late-night flight and memories of what I had just left behind as the last two years of living in the 'Big Apple' had wizzed by..
Without hesitation I had traveled across the United States with advertising projects and entertainment events as far north as Maine and as far west as Colorado.
At 24, living in NYC was fun, exciting and non-stop BUT something really big was knocking on my soul - if I didn't leave the big Apple now I felt like I would be trapped in this circle of life without an exit.
Just like Alice. I took the next sip of life and decided to jump down a new hole and let it take me on an adventure - this time to the West.
I respect families that stay in one area their whole life, raise their kids, know their neighbors and die two blocks from where they were born.
My grandmother, Mom and Aunt were from the small town mentality that raised me into a young man. I love them dearly but my calling was something else for when I hit 18 my soul became restless and when the opportunity to travel and live somewhere else came my way. I never looked back.
Los Angeles was just another step in 'my evolution'.
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ONWARD
I embraced New York very slowly when I arrived in the Winter of 1973. My brownstone over looked Central Park. I rented it because the landlord was having a fire sale and I negotiated a cheap rent. I didn't realize how lucky my move was until that Spring when 'The Park' started to blossom and became 'alive' in front of my eyes.
This spring resurgence 'woke me up' and put a skip into my step as the sound of concerts in the park and plays by the Sheaksperann's brought people out of their homes by the thousands.
The surreal existence in NY was sometimes like a Fellini movie, and sometimes like a trip to the library..I never knew where each day would take me..one thing I do know is that I don't look back when I leave an area..I just keep going moving into a new day with new adventures and new people sometimes making me feel like a Pirate on the 'high seas' and guilty the next. (did I keep moving everywhere because I was running from something (myself) OR was I looking for 'something better' in my life?
I prayed that one day the answers would come and bring me peace..
Venturing deeper into the city I fell in love with 'The Village' and moved near it to a new home in Soho. My life became richer and fuller.
Many of the people in NY are transplants from other towns, cities and countries. These folks are used to a lifestyle they grew-up with and for whatever reason have thrown themselves into the mix.
--Connecting with people is easy once you get past their barriers and my new city friends loved to drop their pretensions and just 'hang-out' and be themselves.
Besides discussions of day to day city life. People love to talk about where they grew-up, friends, places and stories of their life. So NYC 1970's became not just a playground of dance, music, art and food it became 'Home' for most of us---.
I was just starting to feel this pang of loss (or was it my hang-over) when the pilot announced we were over New Mexico and would be entering California airspace soon.
A 'dim' of light slowly appeared in the night out my window and I took my gaze off the girl next to me to watch an immense glow sweep past the darkness. In a few minutes the entire area was filled with light as more then a city appeared.-.it looked below like an entire country had surfaced.
Los Angeles at night was never ending. I tried to see where the hills and country began and the city started it appeared there was no beginning and no end..it all connected itself through one huge light source..one that never seemed to end..my stomach reacted in an instant of excitement and fear.
Once again in my life I felt very much alone.
I prayed that one or two of my contacts in this huge land would come through.
In a city this big I didn't think there would be a problem getting a job.
I was wrong again ..dead wrong.
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'STUCK IN LA as the Angels again watched over me..'
To be honest I had no idea where to go when I hit 'the city of Angeles' so I headed to the most popular destination I knew of .Hollywood.
If NYC was a Fellini/Woody Allen movie..Hollywood was like going to a 'Mad Magazine' office party. Whatever you wanted you could get in Hollywood. I just wanted a LIFE but somehow I would have to find a way to live and relate with the tranvsites, gays, actors, writers, musicans and homeless who all called this city there own. This New Jersey boy was far from home but determined and very, very lucky.
My luck turned into an angel one dark night as I roamed the streets and bars surrounding the hills.
When you are close to being homeless, jobless and new to an area you better do something quick to enhance you life..Stuck in a cess-pool of Life is scary and LA can easily become a cess-pool for the wrong characters are everywhere.
But once again in my Life an angel of protection was sent to help me..I don't know why I should doubt the protection or small miracles that had surfaced in my life..always appearing just at that right time to guide me in the right direction or protect me from harm..
These miracles are too numerous to ignore and it seemed that when things looked the worse - the very worse - a calmness would come over me.
Los Angeles in the late ‘70’s was no different as Everett Sharpe appeared out of the dark one night when I was out with some of the regulars in a local bar.
Everett was anything but who he seemed to be. Thinking he was another street urchin with a good heart I hung out with him in that first week not knowing how wealthy he was as a wholesale clothing magnate importing threads from India by day..by night his thirst for beer and women was non-stop. Something in me however saw his 'heart' and I began to really trust him.
When my temp weekly rental ended and I was just about homeless I confided in him and a plan developed instantly to find me a place to hang my hat on. He had heard of a small studio for rent near Capitol Records that was cheap, needed paint and was vacant. So for $90 a month he and I dove in, painted the small flat (he painted mostly)and I took my first step to a new life in the city of Angels.
Saved again...
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Time Traveler
Each generation and time-frame has it's own distinct characteristic.
When you Live it...you Live it and don't think much about what you are doing...
YOU just do it!
It is like having the wind at your back and in your hair driving down the highway with no real destination in mind but the next rest stop..
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‘NOTES OF FREEDOM’
I felt the real essence of Freedom when my Mother passed away in '82.
Attending her cremation burial in Palm Beach and standing with a group of her unknown friends the feeling of awkwardness was an understatement as I looked at the little hole in the wall where her remains would lay.
It made me numb without feeling to stand there.
The air around my sister and I was still and it was getting hotter by a Florida minute as we stood there wondering what to do next..
In an odd sort of way our lives had criss-crossed each others throughout the years. When I left Miami in the early 70’s Mom decided to take the plunge and travel to West Palm Beach to live out her years. It was a huge and bold move for her. Over time she met and re-married but by then I was the ‘lost son’ who now lived in California swallowed up in the adventures of life.
Her breast cancer was heart-breaking. The distance of living in SO CAL made it even harder but I constantly called, sent flowers and lots and lots of Love. My only comfort was the fact that her new husband, Frank was so helpful and was at her side throughout all of it.
Mom and I had a very tender spot in our heart for each other.
The suffering Mom endured in this life was over and after years of a pointless and heartbreaking disease enhanced by a misguided medical professional life on this earth swiftly ended for her in the middle of the night.
Looking around the crowd that eerie morning I felt out of sorts and a stranger to the many people who knew her in Florida.
Above the crypt and the place where my sister and I stood I heard a rustling and a breeze that slightly moved through the branches and the leaves of a near by tree. I looked to see if anyone was noticing this curiosity but the crowd just stood there in silence. A second later a gentle wind ran through my hair and around me and it felt like something was somehow touching my soul.
My sister moved closer and said 'did you feel that?'. She smiled and said 'It's Mom saying good-bye'.
I had a funny feeling that it was her. Free as a bird. Soaring like the wind. Saying Good-bye to her earthly kin. And as a tear feel down my check I looked up towards the sky and said Good-bye.
Life I decided is well worth living. I don't want to celebrate my life dwelling on Death.
I think the lesson is to be Free NOW and I think it is damn important to figure out how to do that.
So here I am.
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“Life is a.. mystery
Everyone must stand alone..
I hear you call my name
and it feels like..Home.”
..Madonna
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Son, what I have written below is the true essence of your Mom.
When you knew her in Northern California we had just lost a business and were raising children. Beautiful children and you are one of them. Your Mom was a special LIGHT in the world and with that LIGHT she helped turn my LIGHT on as she did yours…The LIGHT you carry is very special and it will someday touch the lives of many people…Just remember we as people are here on earth to help one another. None of us is better then the other. How could we be? We are equal – created from the same source…when you grasp this thought and wake up each day with a song in your heart the whole world will change around you…
THANKS for being my son! You have taught me a lot.
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CHAPTER 6
‘THE LITTLE TRAIN THAT COULD’
Most people are afraid of the unknown.
When the wave of the 60's threw me into the 70's I found myself in disarray and fearful of what I had become.
I had always felt in control of my life. In the past my purpose and intent was clear, grounded and then one day the energy I was comfortable with abruptly stopped.
The sound in my head was as loud as the 'Gong Show' bell telling me to 'grow up' - my soul shouted 'get a life - move into adulthood' .
The message was there but I was at a total loss or understanding of how I could move forward and actually ‘do it’!
I was now out of the 'mainstream of life'. This strange 'new' part of me made me feel like a drowning man in a deep moving river where no raft or life preserver could help me.
The strengths in life I valued vanished - instead of the Bold Open and Innovative spirit of adventure I loved being apart of ..I felt Shallow and Fearful and it left me aching for a foothold of who I was.
Stupid insecurities and fears crept in. Fears like high places.
Living in Soho (NYC) at the time I didn't want to even look at the twin towers which I could view from my studio - let alone go in them.
Many times I sabotaged job interviews or avoided the many parties that were available if it went past the 3rd floor of a building (safe jumping distance).
I got over this fear in my late 30’s scurrying from city to city crises-crossing the country selling high-end carpet cleaning equipment for an inventor in Reno, Nv. while raising a young family.
Endless flying, long restless trips and living across the country can heal fears or hide them if they are not recognized. I know it healed my fear of heights.
Slowly I started learning that when you meet your fears 'head-on' you can overcome them. Hiding from them is like hiding from your 'self'.
Hiding from anything is not an option for me.
The small insecurities seemed very perplexing and this LIFE - this reincarnation
was turning into a huge challenge and learning program.
That is the moment I decided to take small baby steps to regroup - begin life again and re-learn everything there is about life.
To figure out how I (John) could fit in and become a productive person on earth.
Like most of us I had always kept out my natural abilities or ‘physic senses’ (Sight, seeing colors – auras, Listening, out of body experiences and other clairvoyant gifts) for as long as I could while still believing and perusing spiritual knowledge and wisdom.
Escaping the many distractions of NYC I began studying the wisdom and knowledge of the ages passed on through the eons via books, religions and cults looking and searching for the answers to my dilemma.
Something was leading me to a different road in life and I wanted answers. I wanted them NOW and I was willing to turn over every rock along the path to find the truth.
When I heard about the unknown or the physic world it really didn't faze me.
There wasn't too much left in the world to scare or intimate me perhaps the 'world of the unknown' would be easier to understand then living 'in the world' on this planet.
One day I visited a well known physic in Manhattan (Paul Neary) his 'reading of me was not very surprising.
Looking 'through' each person, Neary saw me as a very 'earthy' person who was highly active (sexually) and part of the earth but mainly centered in emotional and physical solutions instead of using my 'inner wisdom' for direction.
He also urged me to move to California where he saw me living and adapting.
So I did.. three months later.
California began a new page in my journeys and as I soon discovered the west coast offered more temptations and distractions then I could ever imagine.
The up and down cycle of jobs and money continued to lead me from survival one day to great income the next.
Fate or destiny again called my name and I began slowly inching my way to San Diego and away from the fast lane of Los Angeles.
San Diego brought me to a new life. A life near the beaches and many of the people I had grown up with in Ewing who had migrated there and who were also looking for a new way of living.
It was also a big step towards destiny -
San Diego is beautiful. In the early 80's there was a peace and tranquility there that allowed me a new life including a great job. One that gave me total freedom to the beach, tennis and a new commitment for community work it also pointed me towards meeting a beautiful and gifted lady. One who had been in and out of my dreams my entire life.
Meeting her would change who I was allowing me to reach new heights within my growth as a person.
The history with my wife, Wendy and I is intense and comparable to a long ride on a roller-coaster that never seemed to end.
When she and I finally settled down -after an intense and rocky start (1985) - we jumped straight into a life of business and raising a family. During this time she was hit with the same dose of 'Soul Reality' that I had experienced in NY.
In unison we both moved out of the games of our youth and took the awkward steps of growing up.
Wendy had always felt safe and in control of 'her world' and never entertained anything outside the box that might be different or unknown.
As 'worldly' as she was deep down she was scared to death of anything physic or unknown to the 'seeing eye'.
Like most people she lived in the world of black & white and the bottom line existence of reality - if she could see it, touch it and smell it then it must be 'real'..nothing 'out of world' would or could be allowed in..
That all changed in a hurry when she took the first step.
The physic world is a bit like evolution. It is always moving within us -once you recognize it you can't go back..it's impossible to stop the flow.
If you have ever opened yourself to mediation, prayer, re-birthing or have had the experience of a 'physic reading' you begin to understand that it is impossible to go against your soul and it's natural progression to develop.
Once you open your 'psychic third eye' it's OPEN and you can never ever close it again. EVER. It is always there!
Wendy's first step into this world began with June Seber from Claremont.
Carol, a neighbor in Del Mar who came from wealth and had alot of time on her hands, referred June. Time to play, explore and create hobbies - one hobby included visits to June's house for life consoling.
Her low key attitude made her 'real' to anyone who met her. She lived in a semi run-down suburban house that was filled with flowers and pictures of Jesus.
June ossed an atmosphere which consisted of complete serenity, peace and trust. Her goal in life was not to make money from her friends but to help them along their path.
I was excited for help or guidance of any kind at this point in our lives both of us were running at full tilt. Each day was loaded heavy with major challenges.
We had just had Courtney our first child.
Her birth ended a 9 1/2 month pregnancy and turned a normal labor into a life challenge.
Courtney did not want to come into this world which meant an emergency C section and weeks of recuperation for Wendy. At the same time we had bought a business both of us had built from the ground floor called Rent Protectors.
The past owner was a real estate tyrant I knew from Ocean Beach who offered us the business and in doing so we acquired a loan from another tyrant, Fred Reale, Wendy's step-dad, who became a millionaire by renovating apts in the slums of Los Angeles. A scum who would try to prey on Wendy as a young girl and turn on Fay, Wendy's Mom, by beating and belittling her, as his sick frustrations incubated.
Through it all I worked everyday after being up all night taking care of Wendy and Courtney and to keep bringing in the money.
I was in a tail-spin and Wendy who had left a good paying job in the insurance world was moving rapidly towards creating a business entity of her own. Our backs were squarely against the wall.
At this point I enthustically embraced any outside help - especially spiritual guidance.
Wendy, like most people was scared to death of the prospect and almost chickened out of going to June's several times insisting that she was a fraud and a gypsy and even used a fake name and information to thwart off any attempts of manipulation.
When we got to June's house Wendy turned white as a sheet and too scared to get out of the car. I patiently played off the experience and tried to make it fun, interesting and another day at the park.
Something worked and we finally got through the front door and met June.
Wendy was like sugar to water - she melted and fell in love with June's beautiful smile and personality. For me it was like visiting your grandmother's house.
The warmth and comfort you feel when you are there makes you wonder why you had ever left in the first place.
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The Last Innocent Soul
Up to this point Wendy had brought out allot of the good qualities in me. She had opened my eyes to the positive sides of life including business and family which I had no clue about.
These steps helped me realize my potential and allowed me to start becoming a true winner in life.
Until June's reading I knew she had amazing qualities as a person but I did not know the totality or scope of it until we heard her deep and inspiring interpretation from a 'soul level'.
The best way to describe Wendy's true essence is to go back in time.
Back to the days when times were simple - pure and thoroughly enjoy.
The 1880's would have been the perfect place for her.
Studying this period through my love of art. I fell in love with the time, the people and how it's rhythm wove in and out of their lives.
The 1880's was one of the last periods of time where people enjoyed life in a simple and innocent way. There were no wars to threaten safety, no industrial revolution to evoke change and not allot of evil in the world to taint hearts.
If there was evil in the world it was easily over powered by innocent hearts that dominated the time. You could feel it's beat through the people - the children and almost taste it's eloquence throughout society.
All of life was filled with a respect towards life and each other not seen to this day.
It was a time of tea parties, walks by the lake, casual get togethers and picnics.
Lots of laughter prevailed.
The world was submerged in simplicity and a child-like innocence.
This period is captured in time through it's paintings, authors and decorations. Cupids and flowers adorned most of the houses and businesses. Tea rooms and parlors were always busy with the people of the day as they laughed and discussed topics of choice.
Impressionist paintings from that time capture the mood and mesmerize you with their magic.
Many 'period movies' such as "Time after Time" with Jane Seymour & Christopher Reeves takes you to this special place where love was pure and bloomed with class and innocence.
This was Wendy - this was the woman inside that June found for me. This is the woman I fell in love with and as June pointed out - the last of her kind. A pure and innocent soul hidden like a jewel in a sea of humanity and according to June maybe one of the last of the truly blessed souls left on earth.
In twists of fate and travels that took me across the country I really was puzzled as to why I had always been on such a long, exhausting journey throughout my life - in and out of great jobs, bad jobs, relationships leading nowhere, and lots of strange situations and people that followed me like the plague.
Despite all the bends and curves in my life it was turning out that I had always been on the 'right' road - straight to her heart.
Somehow destiny lead me to San Diego and this beautiful woman from LA and now I was just beginning to understand why..
I was chosen to take care of her.
Or let's say I chose myself to take care of her.
__________________
New Frontiers
June's revelations of our 'soul connection' opened the door for further spiritual studies.
If there is a strong connection between people perhaps there is a link that weaves it's way through time and space. A connection with lessons and a connection with people we know in this life that we knew in other lifetimes.
My studies in New York lead me to the work of a layman named Edgar Cayce who became known as the 'sleeping prophet'. Cayce's work is well documented and followed by devoted practitioners to this day. The Cayce Foundation located in Virginia Beach,Va is a huge center dedicated to his life.
His work goes beyond reincarnation as he accurately predicted world affairs, wars and natural events. If you remember he is the one who re-discovered the lost continent of Atlantis and the unique society that pre-dated the Egyptians.
I tried to discount his history as I did with other celebrated spiritualist, authors and religious leaders that seemed to good to be true BUT Cayce's work was too deep in accuracy.
Starting with medical breakthroughs Cayce developed a system of analyzing patients while in a deep sleep or trance. The man with a 5th grade education became a well versed doctor who could 'psychically diagnose' all ills.
Each patient visit was written down via his secretary and kept for review over the years. Cayce helped hundreds if not thousands of people.
The amazing thing about his work in diagnosising people is that he was seldom off base. Each 'physic' exam helped his patient one way or another. His prescriptions for cures included intricate and complex mixtures of herbs and natural medicines you could find over the counter.
Most patients were visiting Cayce as a last resort. Doctors had given up on any cures or the diagnosis was terminal and without hope of any kind.
What made it all more credible and believable was his modesty and sincere desire to help those in need.
If Wendy was shy to proceed with further work of her 'awakening' I was not. Cayce's life work opened my mind to the 'unknown' and meeting June Seber triggered something that clearly touched my soul - it gave me the confidence to move forward.
And the yearning to know more.
Re-birthing is a big step in finding out who we were before this life which can pinpoint weaknesses developed in life experiences that went wrong. The process can also be helpful with direction for this life and where were going each day.
To find the truth in yourself you have to look at the complete person inside you.
You hold a mirror to your soul. The pictures that come through in the re-birthing process can be fun, interesting and very painful.
Allot of friends we knew joined us through this process and during this time (80's) the New Age became very popular. Many people though treated it as a personality game. It was quite amusing to hear people exclaim proudly that they were once a queen, king or prince in some far away land and now among us in this incarnation. If things didn't go well in this life they would always have another life to 'get things right'.
This line of thinking is very popular in the eastern part of the world where much of the spiritual community lives in and out of reality with past life philosophies.
I think this idea is not only funny but a big cope-out from the reality of who they are TODAY and the lessons needed for their growth.
Pictures in rebirthing are only brought to your attention to help you with this life. When we are first born as a 'soul' we start the process that revolves around many lifetimes. Our 'souI' never dies just the 'physical body' of who we once were. The 'soul' continues on and on creating lessons or 'karma' as we go. Lessons can be simple or huge depending on each situation.
You are put in (a test) and how you react or respond to that situation is the lesson.
You can either learn from the test or find yourself repeating it - over and over like a revolving door -in this life and lifetime after lifetime.
I am an 'old soul' and have seen myself in physical form over many lifetimes. The glamour of lifetimes is interesting but what really connects me to 'now' is the people in 'this life'. If you seem comfortable and familiar with someone there is a reason. If you are in conflict with a person today the problems more then likely developed in another time and are magnified over and over.
It can all be very deep, interesting and scary at the same time. The only responsibility in this life I ever had besides to my own needs was not until my mid-30's.
Suddenly I was responsible for a family, a business and a person I loved very much.
If re-birthing could help I was totally in.
Letting Go and learning about myself and life helped me understand how to look at the world and interact in it a healthy positive attitude. It also allowed me to focus on a perspective of life that opened me to the 'bigger picture' of the world.
In a nutshell I stopped dwelling on my 'negative little problems' by keeping a perspective on Life and the World around me. My optimistism grows when I compare my 'garbage' to the more important things in life such as: the Homeless, Starving Children, handicapped people, etc.
My life's woes looks pale compared to humanity and it's suffering.
The other thing I found interesting about lessons (tests) in our life is that each and everyday we are shown our weaknesses.
Each step or lesson mastered brings on new challenges. The lesson is to master all the tests and not to succumb to them. By giving up on yourself and staying the same person over and over again you give up on life and your natural progression to evolve.
Over lifetimes the lessons create 'karma' which follows you like a debt card through each life. All of this can get pretty 'heavy and very deep' so when I look at myself I try to keep things Light and one eye on the next lesson I am dealing with and the other eye on the beauty of life that surrounds me.
If you have been reading this.. you probably think I'm an old crazy hippy who thinks too much. Maybe you are right but Think about this for a minute. Are you stuck in a rut and in a revolving door of dating the same 'type' of person' time after time. Not getting ahead financially. Working for idiots who run your life and a feeling of being trapped - no matter what you do?
It is not fate and it is not God's fault. It’s not your neighbor or your boyfriends’ fault it's just how it is in your life. NOW.
You can change the cycle of things in your life by taking these 2 steps..
1. Recognizing your problems - which includes every single one of them.
2. Taking Action in your own life to eliminate the problems.
Simplicity works if you look at the world and your life and work from a focused perspective.
-------------------------------------------
I know it sounds easier then it is..
When I began looking at all of this I had help and support from Wendy and her friends. We went on a 30 day extensive program to diagnosis every little thing about ourselves that reared it's ugly head.
To live with her was difficult at the time for she would catch all thoughts and actions as they took place verbalizing each one. I in turn also looked deep inside.
It was painful but very helpful for years later it has made me a much better person allowing me to look at my next lesson with eyes wide open.
Since I have lived in so many lifetimes and I have not dealt with all of my tests and lessons the ones I have not dealt with have compounded.
EX: Money, Sex, Guilt, Denial, Ego. They all come into play.
Our natural pattern of growth revolves around evolving - learning and working towards understanding ourselves. This means embracing all the good, the bad and the ugly that completes our make-up.
Through this understanding I embrace the unlimited possibilities of life and what life can bring me. In other words I 'try' to remove all barriers that would obstruct and prevent me to evolve in this lifetime. So I can 'dance' through life with the power of good guiding me.
Wendy and I had bonded and shared many lifetimes together and so did our children. I saw many lives in Atlantis, Egypt and a few in the US. We had some good lives and some terrible lives together.
Our children had been with us before. Daniel, Courtney and Chantal all were born to be with us to help us and to learn - for their growth and ours.
We all chose our parents and the family we are born into. All the good and the bad is set in stone and each new born knows it. It becomes lessons for the parents and for the children. Our children need parenting and help to evolve into healthy adults but the reality of life is that we (adults) are just vesicles for each new life form.
It's exciting to see evolution in motion. Each generation is a little bit more evolved then the next. The 'right step' is to teach from the experience we can offer and let the children ‘go and grow' so they can excel and become their own entities with their own destiny.
Many of the friends we have today have been with us in the past. This is why many of your friends seem comfortable to you - you have known them before - many times before and there is either good or bad karma between you.
My choice to come into this life was not easy - I was destined for something else but my love for Wendy was so great the heavens allowed me to come back to earth to meet up with her and to help her with children and with life.
Our children are special people that were born from an earthly angel that brought them to this place called Earth.
Their unique and loving qualities will be noticed by many. I see it in Daniel each and every day and how he touches people so deeply.
______________________
I was born into Love on the day the world is at bloom with it (2/14). I have tried to let Love guide me but over lifetimes I wandered and strayed from my goals.
Another cycle that has plagued my development is choosing wrong people to associate with and in making wrong choices and decisions along the way.
In one lifetime I made a terrible decision. It was during the Civil War when I was put in charge of a platoon of union soldiers during a march. Despite everyone’s advice including scouts I lead the troop down the wrong road and directly into the line of fire from the enemy we were all killed in a hail of bullets and cannons.
Good lives and bad lives they All equate who we are today and regardless of what I had done in the past I convinced someone above for I was allowed into this life. to find her and to amend myself from past mistakes.
My astrology chart ties me into the ‘airhead’ category filled with Aquarius/Pieces. I am almost 100% with Air and Water which makes me a dreamer - fantasizer and futurist.
My 'airhead' qualities leave me out of place allot BUT that was part of the deal I had from above because of my past lessons and past deeds I could come in to this place and ‘try’ to find her but to be here there would be a price to pay and many lessons to overcome - My soul challenges would be great.
If I agreed - I had the opportunity to 'Search' for her and if I was lucky ..really lucky..
I could find her again..
So I came to earth.
_________________
In my early 20’s I used to walk down the street with friends urging strangers to ‘wake-up’..
It seemed like the generation of the ‘60’s awoke one day and decided to enjoy life while the rest of the world was still asleep at the wheel. You could see it in their eyes - Robots in society - walking, talking like the rest of us but just going through the motions.
Wendy’s deep study of spirituality led her into a sincere quest to find the ‘truth’. She first needed to know what made her tick.
Her 'wake-up call' lead her into all areas of study where she painstaking took apart books of wisdom and all of it’s messages.
She possessed an uncanny talent to read between the lines and to get past the basic written words to delve deep into the meaning and essence of what was written, why it was written and most important WHAT was behind the message.
To help her further she would meditate on a lot of the work she read always searching and diagnosing the knowledge and the truth.
She read the bible constantly - looking ‘through’ the hidden language it contained always searching and finding new lessons that could be shared.
Through this many things surfaced and were taught to me and other friends. The beauty of these teachings was not WHAT they contained but HOW each of us should interpreter the information and use it in our daily lives.
Letting Go of the Human Will is the biggest lesson man is faced with. Some time ago man separated himself from God or the power that created us - when that separation took place it disconnected people from a utopian life-style setting in motion ‘Free Will’.
Bridging the gape between ‘Free Will’ and the perfection and understanding of
Ultimate higher powers (God) – LOVE is the challenge and test and why we are here on earth.
If we were perfect like many of the ‘higher powers’ we simply would not be here.
PERIOD.
_________________________
HIGHER STILL
The night sky is hypnotic to me the stars, formations and consolations seem to go on forever and they probably do - for us to think we are the only planet with life on it is short-sided - I know there is life out there -maybe there are just tiny life forms (the water they just found on Mars) or perhaps higher life forms that have evolved over the ages and have mastered many things like TIME, SPACE and THOUGHT...
A very high form of intelligence contacted us through Wendy one day when she 'let go' in a deep meditation. Trusting she was safe ‘an intelligence’ spoke through her. I personally witnessed these events doubting them at first but knowing Wendy had no motive to perform tricks or to look for added attention.
The darkened room we were in came in and out of colors as crystal clear as a rainbow. The energy the entity spoke from was a striking 'purple. The energy that came through her during these sessions pierced through us like electricity and after each session Wendy was like a human light socket clinging to me like a little puppy trying to relax and calm down.
It was hard to disprove. I had never felt energy like this in my life. The room we were in permeated with a unique intensity and my body felt the energy shooting through it.
So whatever was going on had my attention!
Valdek - the entity that spoke was an extremely high intelligence that lives in some sort of energy field. He and his group from this plane are beyond Time and Space and a big part of their job (mission) is to watch over planets especially earth.
Earth was created as a gift to mankind and nature.
A place of beauty, a place of learning (lessons) and a gift from the universe that should be enjoyed - looked after and cared for. There is a 'heart-beat' a Mother Earth presence that feels all the good and all the bad that takes place on the planet.
Because man is so self-destructive and willful the higher powers are greatly concerned and they did not know how much time earth had left. Mother Earth - the heart-beat (or Soul) on our planet is not happy and fed up with the abuse of her home.
She is about to start shrugging off the inhabitations.
All SHE lives for is PEACE, BEAUTY and HARMONY.
That's all she knows. The planet is getting very crowded and very negative each and every day. She is not happy with us and how we are taking care of this place we call home..
I didn’t look at these messages with fear but I easily could have when VALDEK spoke it was a piercing tone that permeated the room and everything in it. He was very clear and forthcoming and as he spoke a great alarm bell went off in my heart for he spoke with an urgency – a plea. The experience left little to doubt.
Something was happening and something will happen soon on earth and it is up to us to either create a Positive environment or a Negative environment while we are here.
My heart also knows something GOOD is going on despite what seems like overwhelming negativity.
1. There is too much going on right now with the planet to ignore the warning signs. A shift of some kind is in the future.
Maybe it's global warming and nature's way of solving the pollution and disrespect. The time- less calendars from the Mayan and Inca civilations stop at 2012. Prophets throughout the ages have predicted changes close to this time.
Whatever happens and when it happens should not bring Fear to the heart..
The signs of change and prophecies are meant to bring Hope.
Hope means A TIME for a new beginning.
2. Many prophets and wise men have delivered similar messages when Jesus was among us many years ago he brought to the people hope and the wisdom to understand. Most religions put the entire burden of civilization on his shoulders. In physical form he was whipped, beaten, and hung on a cross till he died.
He already gave himself for us. He has nothing to prove but before he left he gave us a very important message.
A message designed to help each of us begin anew and to walk on a path towards good. The answer is simple - the answer to a better world lies within each of us. Right Now - the time of salvation is NOW and it is within YOU.
To understand unconditional love you have to live it - experience it and embrace it fully - my respect to God or a higher power is equal to nothing else. The religions and ministries of the world can bring people together in an understanding of this message BUT the real truth lives within all of us. It lives within YOU.
Only YOU know who you are and what your lessons are and how you act towards yourself and others. Maybe it's a time for all of us to reflect on this. Maybe it's a time to Wake-up and become the person we are supposed to be and to stop blaming others for the mistakes and lessons of our own life.
_________________
It all starts with each of us. I am not perfect but I gave myself totally for my children just as I gave myself for Wendy. The switch that was turned on in my heart helped me to understand love. It also gave me the fuel to move on - to help others along the path. I believe this course of living will be the salvation that separates GOOD from EVIL. EVIL and misaligned souls will not remain if and when a shift occurs.
The people and animals on earth that are supposed to be here and grow into this new dimension (shift) will remain to live here and adapt with the change. It may be just a few people or maybe it will be allot it really depends on each of us and how we live our life.
Surviving is not the issue - LIVING is the issue.
LIVING with LOVE and a purpose in this life is what will determine your fate.
These were not empty words or deeds. Jesus was here to shake up man and to assist in putting us on the right track for a last second chance to save ourselves.
His LOVE for us on earth is so great and so unconditional that it bonded us once again to a higher power allowing us another chance to 'get things right'. It is not far-fetched or gibberish - Unconditional Love is the strongest power and mightiest power there is in the universe.
It is here on earth. It is in each of us if WE WANT IT.
Those of us that look within and turn on the switch and Shine with this LOVE each moment - each day - learning the tests through our weaknesses will use this LOVE to see us through ANYTHING. With this understanding we will move together into this 'shift' and into the next phase of the planet.
Wendy's short life here helped me and others to understand this important message which jump started 'my Little Engine' propelling me to create a better life.
This is all I know. This is all I Iive for -
'Yes I Can...Yes I Can..' and the Little Train chugged up the hill and over the Mountain. Nothing could slow him down or stop him.
The mission of life was calling.
___________________________
FOOT NOTE:
I could easily discount the information and stories I have just told but if I did it would be like belittling my life, my friends lives, relatives and Wendy’s incarnation.
SOMETHING has to make sense of our existence and the reason we are here!
I am pretty sure that this material gets close. Very close to the truth!
But there is a pretty simple plan for you. SEARCH for your own truth. When you start that quest turn over every leaf in the book called life and then draw your own conclusions.
From my heart. Thank you..
I am ready for the next chapter.
JHENSEL
TALES OF A SUBURBAN GYPSY
2008
----------------------------------------
THE MISSION OF LIFE
Is not
the things that you want most
it is quite the opposite
and hardly true
as I look out the window and think of You
like so many times before the wrong people are in power
or so it seems…for fairness and innocence
are disposed of in the wind
we all see the turmoil and chaos
you have brought to our World
(enjoy this now) and please beware
your days of greed, hate and wrongful action
will disappear
and in front of your redden-eyes
you will be sitting
alone in fire-a victim of Your own destiny
the reality you bestowed on others
will now become yours…all yours
fear and destruction
will haunt you and live in your mind the rest of your days
I have watched, waited and stayed
STRONG
VIGILANT
And ALERT
waiting for you to slip while
protecting the innocent you have eaten for years
in patience and hidden strength
strong to the last
I am here to say
That GOOD GUYS don’t come in second anymore
our time has come…
we will SOON rule the day!
THE MISSION OF LIFE IS CALLING
Notes
The amazing people listed helped bring this book to life. THANK YOU.
Author Photo –David Schuler
(clothes by Savioni)
Wendy Photo – J. Hensel
Richie Havens- John Haritos
Story Illustrations – Joel E. Roberts
Illustration Editing - Big Bill Hamilton
Editorial assistance – Patricia Lynch
‘One Horse Open Sleigh’ – James Lord Pierpont, 1857
the author
A Story of Finding LOVE
__________________________
PART FOUR – FINAL INSTALLMENT
This book is dedicated to all the People (angels) who took the time to help me along my PATH.
Thanks for your Faith in me and the Laughs we had along the way.
_______________________________From: Notes to my Son
A TIMELINE TOWARDS DESTINY!
___________________________
SURVIVING is easy...
It’s LIVING that’s Hard!
___________________________
CHAPTER 5
‘KC IN THE SUNSHINE’
Do you want to dance?
Do you want to feel good about yourself?
'Do a little dance
make a little Love
get down tonite
get down tonite'
KC was the product of nothing when I ran into him working within a Miami record company (TK Records). I met KC and other companies like Carribean Cruise Lines from the beginning..just when they were launching there careers.
All KC had in ’72 was a dream in one hand and a broom in the other as he polished the floors in the warehouse. It didn’t matter. He was ‘in’ the industry that’s all he needed.
The next time I saw him he was filling a gap in schedules and became the opening act for ‘Stevie Wonder’ the same night I might have discussed earlier.
His act then was similar to a scene from a movie I saw years later ’Made in Heaven’ where Timothy Hutton is possessed with a song after he gets his first instrument while hitch-hiking to California sitting near Venice Beach he tries everything to create ‘the sound’ he is looking for.
Sitting for days playing to no one slowly the rhythm begins very, very slowly with a lot of stops and gaps in-between and this is similar to how KC began.
I thought he should have a monkey on his shoulder as the vast stage engulfed him making him look very small. He and his baby make-shift piano/organ were creating a new sound but in ’72 the sound was just a bump in the night and while people laughed at him and stared at this sight on stage I couldn’t help but wonder how strange life is and how amazing the business is because no matter who you are or where you come from your dreams can come true.
KC showed us how dreams can come true and I am so glad I had a glimpse of him while I was chasing mine.
_____________________________
_____________________________
(jpeg 1)
‘PLACES’
'My Soul is restless
but my Spirit is Free'
‘LTD and the RED ROCKS OF COLORADO’
I might have written about Jeff Osbourne and LTD before but our adventure in Colorado is note-worthy..
coming off a major rock festival in Bloomington, Indiana where LTD was the only R & B group on the bill and staying up for two days partying and being with two women in one night ( a first for me..I am obviously proud of) a maid at the motel we stayed was my first friend for the evening and a late-night waitress (the boyz in the band were going nuts over) who picked me up around 2 am or so from the bar near our motel.
Driving to Colorado at 6 am the same morning was filled with pleasurable pain and delirium as the band put me at the wheel of their equipment truck.
I am sure this chore was fueled by punishment from the band ( I was the road manager for this 12 piece black band out of LA) who now hated me because I had slept with the awesome waitress (oh well) as we drove our little caravan across the mid-west to reach the mountains of Colorado ( I still managed a smile on my face)..where we rendezvous with our next gig in downtown Denver.
The first approach to the Colorado landscape is very inspiring and over-whelming especially to a young man from NJ. was raised in low-lying areas beaches, hills, valleys and small cities.
When I lived in So. Florida we used to joke about how flat it was and that Miami's biggest hill was a speed-bump (it's true).
Major cities blend together, New York, Chicago, Philly..buildings, streets, rivers, people all mesh and create a fabric and atmosphere of their own identity called Life..Mountains are another thing and as we left extremely flat land across America's mid-section and entered Colorado I wondered how our little Ryder truck would make it up the grade it was so immense..
Traveling up and into the Colorado in a slow moving vehicle seems like forever so we just kept pushing the grade and came over the ridges into Denver located in the middle of giant mountains.
Going on a day and a half of no sleep I settled the band into their hotel and grab a strong power nap to try and get rid of the 'road' and from that I decide to head out into the city to explore and find the Red Rocks of Colorado..
I was on two missions that day..
1. To see this interesting structure which housed a natural rock-made amphitheatre
2. To find the concert site where my friend Marc (an old road buddy), manager of Seals & Crofts was playing that evening..
My pal and tour guide for the day was a young man named Joe who had helped LTD load in and set-up for the following night's show..he guided me to 'The Rocks' which he claimed he was familiar with and after a little bit we arrived..
The outside of 'The Red Rocks' is deceiving for all you can see is a ridge of rocks and boulders going straight up towards the sky. Looking up, my competitive nature comes out and I stupidly said "Do you want to race up." Thinking I could beat him ..Joe said "Ok..let's go" and up we climbed.
As we left I ambled behind..keeping with him for a few seconds then like lightning he was gone..up, up and out of sight like a human billy goat.
My sight left him and focused on my own footing which was dangerously important at the time for I was walking on sharp rocks and small crevices that surrounding my every step..as the minutes ticked by I felt like an ant crawling on an iceberg.
I heard laughter and looked at the top where Joe was watching me laughing.." What's taking you" I think he said. "It's only a little bit further".
I dug in and climbed further towards the top of the grade.
Joe it turned out was a native to the area and the 'Red Rocks' was his ‘yard’.
He motioned me further and said..."Look at this' and in the same breath suggested I look over the top.
Naturally there was a 'regular entrance' to the Red Rocks but for some reason I had a very strong desire to climb them on the exterior.
I'm glad I did.
Looking down, I could see a stage. The height we were at made the platform seem miniature but you could see it spread out built naturally from the formation of this magnificent and huge structure. Thousands of seats cascaded from the stage area and spread through the immense amphitheater.
Standing over the 'Rocks' Joe showed me small pigeon hole areas where people would sneak up to hear and see a show as well as anyone who had bought a ticket.
He also told me people had fallen to their death from these perches after a wild night and my stomach made my mind remember my fear of heights that had haunted me over the years.
I gulped again and timidly asked if we could climb down soon since I would be back tonight anyway to see the show.
THE SHOW
Sometime in the evening I wondered back to the 'Red Rocks'. This time I walked in fashionably as Marc left backstage passes for a friend and I. We were ushered through the paying customers like royalty.
The music industry can be rewarding. I have seen amazing performances from Coast to Coast backstage and onstage eating the food and drinking the drink with many performers and their supporters.
Life is like that. I learned early on that it's not what you know …
it's Who you know that counts.
Moving thorough candle-light catacombs looking for Marc and the band was interesting as we followed an echo of laughter and music through the rock maze and as the aroma of food heightened we stumbled onto my friend hanging out with his band who was playing softly against the acoustic backdrop of the structure turning their talents into a new dimension of sound and their souls into little children.
Seals and Crofts, played throughout the night sounding like cupids who were sitting in the clouds as the audience embraced their every sound.
I remember the brilliance of the Colorado star that provided our ceiling with the magic of the 'rocks' enhancing the melodies in an almost a mystical yet haunting way.
Marc, Cyndy (his wife) and I sat on stage eating, laughing and giggling well into the night - happily caught up in the magic of it all.
______________________________________
‘ELTON JOHN and the DANCING PUPPETS’
The 70’s brought with it live performances that were coast to coast non-stop and when Elton reached our shores to promote recent releases of “Good-bye Yellow Brick Road” and “….Piano Player” a British tidal wave hit America leading him straight to Miami and directly to our site at the Sportatorium.
This arena was fast becoming a landmark for music and the bigger venues in town.
I saw the Moody Blues, Doors and Jefferson Airplane when I first got to town and now that I was in the business I met and worked with everybody who was anybody.
The heat rose fast the morning of Elton’s arrival and our crew came early to prepare for the ‘storm’. Preparation was paramount. I put 8 more people on the payroll to give us a total of 14 bodies to haul, secure and assist with the Brit’s needs.
We were there in force But nothing I mean nothing could prepare us for an evening with Elton John.
His troops and tech’s brought an arsenal of equipment, electronics, sound and lights that could run a small city.
As the hot day (90 degrees) slowly shifted into the evening people came and the crowd swelled arriving by the thousands.
To say it was a party atmosphere is an understatement.
By 6pm the arena of 5000 was filled but still people were coming and in their glee and greed ‘the promoters’ kept selling tickets. Thousands of tickets. I don’t think the fire marshals were in town that week-end for nothing was going to stop ticket sales.
I lost track of the actual count - all I know is people pushed awkwardly to the front of the stage in a crushing wave of excitement.
By 8pm music from the amps filled the arena with a melody. The only chance for ventilation was a slight breeze from the backstage area as the temperature kept soaring.
With little thought I assembled our crew on the lip of the stage to help with any crowd problems - which began almost immediately. The first causality fainted as the girl’s boyfriend handed me her lifeless body - before long dozens more succumbed to the stifling heat.
In a swift fireman drill motion our squad escorted people of all sizes to the back.
Tall, big, short, strong or frail dozens if not more passed out.
One team would stay with each victim until they were revived while another kept scooping others over the stage area and out of harms way.
By now all of us were drenched with sweat and down to pants and shoes.
I prayed that any second Elton would appear.
With the lights slightly dim we kept the assembly line going while looking for trouble spots in the crowd.
Leaning down to pick-up another victim I felt my pants split straight through the crouch.
With no time to think I somehow tied a t-shirt around my waist.
Turning again towards the front a number of things happened at once - Elton walks on stage immediately hit by blinding lights and the sound of Miami to greet him.
I stood a few yards away feeling and looking naked. The split in my pants seemed as large as the Grand Canyon.
There was no time to move, run or think. Luckily I had enough brains left to grab a small speaker and sit on it maybe 20 yards from his piano and as it turned out most of the performance.
During the show it seemed the concert was my own special moment as I watched in amazement the energy and creative flow from this giant superstar.
If you have seen films from this period then you would appreciate the theatrics.
Time would prove Elton to be the biggest showman of the day.
Townsend started the party by smashing guitars. ELP added a 2-3 ton drum set that rotated with the beat and Elton brought with him a fun-loving entourage that hit the stage halfway through each show.
For an hour I was blinded by lights frozen in my seat next to him obviously to scared to move but enjoying the hell out of it.
STILL I did want to leave. Soon I got my chance.
With the crowd erupting to “Crocodile Rock’ a half dozen 9 ft. Dancing Puppets came out to greet us dancing to the song. Lights surged, music lifted and there was no possible way to control the crowd. At this point I knew I could go unnoticed and jumped over the speaker and into the safety of the backstage.
Our crew could do no more to secure the crowd so we joined in and partied with Miami until it was time to tear it all down and load up Elton for another city..
I don’t think Miami has been the same since…
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‘LOS ANGELES...1975’
I had drifted into sleep for a minute and caught myself waking to laughter next to a crazy Irianian girl wiggling and giggling on my armrest – CALIFORNIA.
My next destination in life.
Partying on the plane across country to this new land helped me get through the late-night flight and memories of what I had just left behind as the last two years of living in the 'Big Apple' had wizzed by..
Without hesitation I had traveled across the United States with advertising projects and entertainment events as far north as Maine and as far west as Colorado.
At 24, living in NYC was fun, exciting and non-stop BUT something really big was knocking on my soul - if I didn't leave the big Apple now I felt like I would be trapped in this circle of life without an exit.
Just like Alice. I took the next sip of life and decided to jump down a new hole and let it take me on an adventure - this time to the West.
I respect families that stay in one area their whole life, raise their kids, know their neighbors and die two blocks from where they were born.
My grandmother, Mom and Aunt were from the small town mentality that raised me into a young man. I love them dearly but my calling was something else for when I hit 18 my soul became restless and when the opportunity to travel and live somewhere else came my way. I never looked back.
Los Angeles was just another step in 'my evolution'.
_____________________________
ONWARD
I embraced New York very slowly when I arrived in the Winter of 1973. My brownstone over looked Central Park. I rented it because the landlord was having a fire sale and I negotiated a cheap rent. I didn't realize how lucky my move was until that Spring when 'The Park' started to blossom and became 'alive' in front of my eyes.
This spring resurgence 'woke me up' and put a skip into my step as the sound of concerts in the park and plays by the Sheaksperann's brought people out of their homes by the thousands.
The surreal existence in NY was sometimes like a Fellini movie, and sometimes like a trip to the library..I never knew where each day would take me..one thing I do know is that I don't look back when I leave an area..I just keep going moving into a new day with new adventures and new people sometimes making me feel like a Pirate on the 'high seas' and guilty the next. (did I keep moving everywhere because I was running from something (myself) OR was I looking for 'something better' in my life?
I prayed that one day the answers would come and bring me peace..
Venturing deeper into the city I fell in love with 'The Village' and moved near it to a new home in Soho. My life became richer and fuller.
Many of the people in NY are transplants from other towns, cities and countries. These folks are used to a lifestyle they grew-up with and for whatever reason have thrown themselves into the mix.
--Connecting with people is easy once you get past their barriers and my new city friends loved to drop their pretensions and just 'hang-out' and be themselves.
Besides discussions of day to day city life. People love to talk about where they grew-up, friends, places and stories of their life. So NYC 1970's became not just a playground of dance, music, art and food it became 'Home' for most of us---.
I was just starting to feel this pang of loss (or was it my hang-over) when the pilot announced we were over New Mexico and would be entering California airspace soon.
A 'dim' of light slowly appeared in the night out my window and I took my gaze off the girl next to me to watch an immense glow sweep past the darkness. In a few minutes the entire area was filled with light as more then a city appeared.-.it looked below like an entire country had surfaced.
Los Angeles at night was never ending. I tried to see where the hills and country began and the city started it appeared there was no beginning and no end..it all connected itself through one huge light source..one that never seemed to end..my stomach reacted in an instant of excitement and fear.
Once again in my life I felt very much alone.
I prayed that one or two of my contacts in this huge land would come through.
In a city this big I didn't think there would be a problem getting a job.
I was wrong again ..dead wrong.
_____________________________
'STUCK IN LA as the Angels again watched over me..'
To be honest I had no idea where to go when I hit 'the city of Angeles' so I headed to the most popular destination I knew of .Hollywood.
If NYC was a Fellini/Woody Allen movie..Hollywood was like going to a 'Mad Magazine' office party. Whatever you wanted you could get in Hollywood. I just wanted a LIFE but somehow I would have to find a way to live and relate with the tranvsites, gays, actors, writers, musicans and homeless who all called this city there own. This New Jersey boy was far from home but determined and very, very lucky.
My luck turned into an angel one dark night as I roamed the streets and bars surrounding the hills.
When you are close to being homeless, jobless and new to an area you better do something quick to enhance you life..Stuck in a cess-pool of Life is scary and LA can easily become a cess-pool for the wrong characters are everywhere.
But once again in my Life an angel of protection was sent to help me..I don't know why I should doubt the protection or small miracles that had surfaced in my life..always appearing just at that right time to guide me in the right direction or protect me from harm..
These miracles are too numerous to ignore and it seemed that when things looked the worse - the very worse - a calmness would come over me.
Los Angeles in the late ‘70’s was no different as Everett Sharpe appeared out of the dark one night when I was out with some of the regulars in a local bar.
Everett was anything but who he seemed to be. Thinking he was another street urchin with a good heart I hung out with him in that first week not knowing how wealthy he was as a wholesale clothing magnate importing threads from India by day..by night his thirst for beer and women was non-stop. Something in me however saw his 'heart' and I began to really trust him.
When my temp weekly rental ended and I was just about homeless I confided in him and a plan developed instantly to find me a place to hang my hat on. He had heard of a small studio for rent near Capitol Records that was cheap, needed paint and was vacant. So for $90 a month he and I dove in, painted the small flat (he painted mostly)and I took my first step to a new life in the city of Angels.
Saved again...
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Time Traveler
Each generation and time-frame has it's own distinct characteristic.
When you Live it...you Live it and don't think much about what you are doing...
YOU just do it!
It is like having the wind at your back and in your hair driving down the highway with no real destination in mind but the next rest stop..
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‘NOTES OF FREEDOM’
I felt the real essence of Freedom when my Mother passed away in '82.
Attending her cremation burial in Palm Beach and standing with a group of her unknown friends the feeling of awkwardness was an understatement as I looked at the little hole in the wall where her remains would lay.
It made me numb without feeling to stand there.
The air around my sister and I was still and it was getting hotter by a Florida minute as we stood there wondering what to do next..
In an odd sort of way our lives had criss-crossed each others throughout the years. When I left Miami in the early 70’s Mom decided to take the plunge and travel to West Palm Beach to live out her years. It was a huge and bold move for her. Over time she met and re-married but by then I was the ‘lost son’ who now lived in California swallowed up in the adventures of life.
Her breast cancer was heart-breaking. The distance of living in SO CAL made it even harder but I constantly called, sent flowers and lots and lots of Love. My only comfort was the fact that her new husband, Frank was so helpful and was at her side throughout all of it.
Mom and I had a very tender spot in our heart for each other.
The suffering Mom endured in this life was over and after years of a pointless and heartbreaking disease enhanced by a misguided medical professional life on this earth swiftly ended for her in the middle of the night.
Looking around the crowd that eerie morning I felt out of sorts and a stranger to the many people who knew her in Florida.
Above the crypt and the place where my sister and I stood I heard a rustling and a breeze that slightly moved through the branches and the leaves of a near by tree. I looked to see if anyone was noticing this curiosity but the crowd just stood there in silence. A second later a gentle wind ran through my hair and around me and it felt like something was somehow touching my soul.
My sister moved closer and said 'did you feel that?'. She smiled and said 'It's Mom saying good-bye'.
I had a funny feeling that it was her. Free as a bird. Soaring like the wind. Saying Good-bye to her earthly kin. And as a tear feel down my check I looked up towards the sky and said Good-bye.
Life I decided is well worth living. I don't want to celebrate my life dwelling on Death.
I think the lesson is to be Free NOW and I think it is damn important to figure out how to do that.
So here I am.
_____________________________
“Life is a.. mystery
Everyone must stand alone..
I hear you call my name
and it feels like..Home.”
..Madonna
__________________________
Son, what I have written below is the true essence of your Mom.
When you knew her in Northern California we had just lost a business and were raising children. Beautiful children and you are one of them. Your Mom was a special LIGHT in the world and with that LIGHT she helped turn my LIGHT on as she did yours…The LIGHT you carry is very special and it will someday touch the lives of many people…Just remember we as people are here on earth to help one another. None of us is better then the other. How could we be? We are equal – created from the same source…when you grasp this thought and wake up each day with a song in your heart the whole world will change around you…
THANKS for being my son! You have taught me a lot.
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(jpeg 2)
CHAPTER 6
‘THE LITTLE TRAIN THAT COULD’
Most people are afraid of the unknown.
When the wave of the 60's threw me into the 70's I found myself in disarray and fearful of what I had become.
I had always felt in control of my life. In the past my purpose and intent was clear, grounded and then one day the energy I was comfortable with abruptly stopped.
The sound in my head was as loud as the 'Gong Show' bell telling me to 'grow up' - my soul shouted 'get a life - move into adulthood' .
The message was there but I was at a total loss or understanding of how I could move forward and actually ‘do it’!
I was now out of the 'mainstream of life'. This strange 'new' part of me made me feel like a drowning man in a deep moving river where no raft or life preserver could help me.
The strengths in life I valued vanished - instead of the Bold Open and Innovative spirit of adventure I loved being apart of ..I felt Shallow and Fearful and it left me aching for a foothold of who I was.
Stupid insecurities and fears crept in. Fears like high places.
Living in Soho (NYC) at the time I didn't want to even look at the twin towers which I could view from my studio - let alone go in them.
Many times I sabotaged job interviews or avoided the many parties that were available if it went past the 3rd floor of a building (safe jumping distance).
I got over this fear in my late 30’s scurrying from city to city crises-crossing the country selling high-end carpet cleaning equipment for an inventor in Reno, Nv. while raising a young family.
Endless flying, long restless trips and living across the country can heal fears or hide them if they are not recognized. I know it healed my fear of heights.
Slowly I started learning that when you meet your fears 'head-on' you can overcome them. Hiding from them is like hiding from your 'self'.
Hiding from anything is not an option for me.
The small insecurities seemed very perplexing and this LIFE - this reincarnation
was turning into a huge challenge and learning program.
That is the moment I decided to take small baby steps to regroup - begin life again and re-learn everything there is about life.
To figure out how I (John) could fit in and become a productive person on earth.
Like most of us I had always kept out my natural abilities or ‘physic senses’ (Sight, seeing colors – auras, Listening, out of body experiences and other clairvoyant gifts) for as long as I could while still believing and perusing spiritual knowledge and wisdom.
Escaping the many distractions of NYC I began studying the wisdom and knowledge of the ages passed on through the eons via books, religions and cults looking and searching for the answers to my dilemma.
Something was leading me to a different road in life and I wanted answers. I wanted them NOW and I was willing to turn over every rock along the path to find the truth.
When I heard about the unknown or the physic world it really didn't faze me.
There wasn't too much left in the world to scare or intimate me perhaps the 'world of the unknown' would be easier to understand then living 'in the world' on this planet.
One day I visited a well known physic in Manhattan (Paul Neary) his 'reading of me was not very surprising.
Looking 'through' each person, Neary saw me as a very 'earthy' person who was highly active (sexually) and part of the earth but mainly centered in emotional and physical solutions instead of using my 'inner wisdom' for direction.
He also urged me to move to California where he saw me living and adapting.
So I did.. three months later.
California began a new page in my journeys and as I soon discovered the west coast offered more temptations and distractions then I could ever imagine.
The up and down cycle of jobs and money continued to lead me from survival one day to great income the next.
Fate or destiny again called my name and I began slowly inching my way to San Diego and away from the fast lane of Los Angeles.
San Diego brought me to a new life. A life near the beaches and many of the people I had grown up with in Ewing who had migrated there and who were also looking for a new way of living.
It was also a big step towards destiny -
San Diego is beautiful. In the early 80's there was a peace and tranquility there that allowed me a new life including a great job. One that gave me total freedom to the beach, tennis and a new commitment for community work it also pointed me towards meeting a beautiful and gifted lady. One who had been in and out of my dreams my entire life.
Meeting her would change who I was allowing me to reach new heights within my growth as a person.
The history with my wife, Wendy and I is intense and comparable to a long ride on a roller-coaster that never seemed to end.
When she and I finally settled down -after an intense and rocky start (1985) - we jumped straight into a life of business and raising a family. During this time she was hit with the same dose of 'Soul Reality' that I had experienced in NY.
In unison we both moved out of the games of our youth and took the awkward steps of growing up.
Wendy had always felt safe and in control of 'her world' and never entertained anything outside the box that might be different or unknown.
As 'worldly' as she was deep down she was scared to death of anything physic or unknown to the 'seeing eye'.
Like most people she lived in the world of black & white and the bottom line existence of reality - if she could see it, touch it and smell it then it must be 'real'..nothing 'out of world' would or could be allowed in..
That all changed in a hurry when she took the first step.
The physic world is a bit like evolution. It is always moving within us -once you recognize it you can't go back..it's impossible to stop the flow.
If you have ever opened yourself to mediation, prayer, re-birthing or have had the experience of a 'physic reading' you begin to understand that it is impossible to go against your soul and it's natural progression to develop.
Once you open your 'psychic third eye' it's OPEN and you can never ever close it again. EVER. It is always there!
Wendy's first step into this world began with June Seber from Claremont.
Carol, a neighbor in Del Mar who came from wealth and had alot of time on her hands, referred June. Time to play, explore and create hobbies - one hobby included visits to June's house for life consoling.
Her low key attitude made her 'real' to anyone who met her. She lived in a semi run-down suburban house that was filled with flowers and pictures of Jesus.
June ossed an atmosphere which consisted of complete serenity, peace and trust. Her goal in life was not to make money from her friends but to help them along their path.
I was excited for help or guidance of any kind at this point in our lives both of us were running at full tilt. Each day was loaded heavy with major challenges.
We had just had Courtney our first child.
Her birth ended a 9 1/2 month pregnancy and turned a normal labor into a life challenge.
Courtney did not want to come into this world which meant an emergency C section and weeks of recuperation for Wendy. At the same time we had bought a business both of us had built from the ground floor called Rent Protectors.
The past owner was a real estate tyrant I knew from Ocean Beach who offered us the business and in doing so we acquired a loan from another tyrant, Fred Reale, Wendy's step-dad, who became a millionaire by renovating apts in the slums of Los Angeles. A scum who would try to prey on Wendy as a young girl and turn on Fay, Wendy's Mom, by beating and belittling her, as his sick frustrations incubated.
Through it all I worked everyday after being up all night taking care of Wendy and Courtney and to keep bringing in the money.
I was in a tail-spin and Wendy who had left a good paying job in the insurance world was moving rapidly towards creating a business entity of her own. Our backs were squarely against the wall.
At this point I enthustically embraced any outside help - especially spiritual guidance.
Wendy, like most people was scared to death of the prospect and almost chickened out of going to June's several times insisting that she was a fraud and a gypsy and even used a fake name and information to thwart off any attempts of manipulation.
When we got to June's house Wendy turned white as a sheet and too scared to get out of the car. I patiently played off the experience and tried to make it fun, interesting and another day at the park.
Something worked and we finally got through the front door and met June.
Wendy was like sugar to water - she melted and fell in love with June's beautiful smile and personality. For me it was like visiting your grandmother's house.
The warmth and comfort you feel when you are there makes you wonder why you had ever left in the first place.
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The Last Innocent Soul
Up to this point Wendy had brought out allot of the good qualities in me. She had opened my eyes to the positive sides of life including business and family which I had no clue about.
These steps helped me realize my potential and allowed me to start becoming a true winner in life.
Until June's reading I knew she had amazing qualities as a person but I did not know the totality or scope of it until we heard her deep and inspiring interpretation from a 'soul level'.
The best way to describe Wendy's true essence is to go back in time.
Back to the days when times were simple - pure and thoroughly enjoy.
The 1880's would have been the perfect place for her.
Studying this period through my love of art. I fell in love with the time, the people and how it's rhythm wove in and out of their lives.
The 1880's was one of the last periods of time where people enjoyed life in a simple and innocent way. There were no wars to threaten safety, no industrial revolution to evoke change and not allot of evil in the world to taint hearts.
If there was evil in the world it was easily over powered by innocent hearts that dominated the time. You could feel it's beat through the people - the children and almost taste it's eloquence throughout society.
All of life was filled with a respect towards life and each other not seen to this day.
It was a time of tea parties, walks by the lake, casual get togethers and picnics.
Lots of laughter prevailed.
The world was submerged in simplicity and a child-like innocence.
This period is captured in time through it's paintings, authors and decorations. Cupids and flowers adorned most of the houses and businesses. Tea rooms and parlors were always busy with the people of the day as they laughed and discussed topics of choice.
Impressionist paintings from that time capture the mood and mesmerize you with their magic.
Many 'period movies' such as "Time after Time" with Jane Seymour & Christopher Reeves takes you to this special place where love was pure and bloomed with class and innocence.
This was Wendy - this was the woman inside that June found for me. This is the woman I fell in love with and as June pointed out - the last of her kind. A pure and innocent soul hidden like a jewel in a sea of humanity and according to June maybe one of the last of the truly blessed souls left on earth.
In twists of fate and travels that took me across the country I really was puzzled as to why I had always been on such a long, exhausting journey throughout my life - in and out of great jobs, bad jobs, relationships leading nowhere, and lots of strange situations and people that followed me like the plague.
Despite all the bends and curves in my life it was turning out that I had always been on the 'right' road - straight to her heart.
Somehow destiny lead me to San Diego and this beautiful woman from LA and now I was just beginning to understand why..
I was chosen to take care of her.
Or let's say I chose myself to take care of her.
__________________
New Frontiers
June's revelations of our 'soul connection' opened the door for further spiritual studies.
If there is a strong connection between people perhaps there is a link that weaves it's way through time and space. A connection with lessons and a connection with people we know in this life that we knew in other lifetimes.
My studies in New York lead me to the work of a layman named Edgar Cayce who became known as the 'sleeping prophet'. Cayce's work is well documented and followed by devoted practitioners to this day. The Cayce Foundation located in Virginia Beach,Va is a huge center dedicated to his life.
His work goes beyond reincarnation as he accurately predicted world affairs, wars and natural events. If you remember he is the one who re-discovered the lost continent of Atlantis and the unique society that pre-dated the Egyptians.
I tried to discount his history as I did with other celebrated spiritualist, authors and religious leaders that seemed to good to be true BUT Cayce's work was too deep in accuracy.
Starting with medical breakthroughs Cayce developed a system of analyzing patients while in a deep sleep or trance. The man with a 5th grade education became a well versed doctor who could 'psychically diagnose' all ills.
Each patient visit was written down via his secretary and kept for review over the years. Cayce helped hundreds if not thousands of people.
The amazing thing about his work in diagnosising people is that he was seldom off base. Each 'physic' exam helped his patient one way or another. His prescriptions for cures included intricate and complex mixtures of herbs and natural medicines you could find over the counter.
Most patients were visiting Cayce as a last resort. Doctors had given up on any cures or the diagnosis was terminal and without hope of any kind.
What made it all more credible and believable was his modesty and sincere desire to help those in need.
If Wendy was shy to proceed with further work of her 'awakening' I was not. Cayce's life work opened my mind to the 'unknown' and meeting June Seber triggered something that clearly touched my soul - it gave me the confidence to move forward.
And the yearning to know more.
Re-birthing is a big step in finding out who we were before this life which can pinpoint weaknesses developed in life experiences that went wrong. The process can also be helpful with direction for this life and where were going each day.
To find the truth in yourself you have to look at the complete person inside you.
You hold a mirror to your soul. The pictures that come through in the re-birthing process can be fun, interesting and very painful.
Allot of friends we knew joined us through this process and during this time (80's) the New Age became very popular. Many people though treated it as a personality game. It was quite amusing to hear people exclaim proudly that they were once a queen, king or prince in some far away land and now among us in this incarnation. If things didn't go well in this life they would always have another life to 'get things right'.
This line of thinking is very popular in the eastern part of the world where much of the spiritual community lives in and out of reality with past life philosophies.
I think this idea is not only funny but a big cope-out from the reality of who they are TODAY and the lessons needed for their growth.
Pictures in rebirthing are only brought to your attention to help you with this life. When we are first born as a 'soul' we start the process that revolves around many lifetimes. Our 'souI' never dies just the 'physical body' of who we once were. The 'soul' continues on and on creating lessons or 'karma' as we go. Lessons can be simple or huge depending on each situation.
You are put in (a test) and how you react or respond to that situation is the lesson.
You can either learn from the test or find yourself repeating it - over and over like a revolving door -in this life and lifetime after lifetime.
I am an 'old soul' and have seen myself in physical form over many lifetimes. The glamour of lifetimes is interesting but what really connects me to 'now' is the people in 'this life'. If you seem comfortable and familiar with someone there is a reason. If you are in conflict with a person today the problems more then likely developed in another time and are magnified over and over.
It can all be very deep, interesting and scary at the same time. The only responsibility in this life I ever had besides to my own needs was not until my mid-30's.
Suddenly I was responsible for a family, a business and a person I loved very much.
If re-birthing could help I was totally in.
Letting Go and learning about myself and life helped me understand how to look at the world and interact in it a healthy positive attitude. It also allowed me to focus on a perspective of life that opened me to the 'bigger picture' of the world.
In a nutshell I stopped dwelling on my 'negative little problems' by keeping a perspective on Life and the World around me. My optimistism grows when I compare my 'garbage' to the more important things in life such as: the Homeless, Starving Children, handicapped people, etc.
My life's woes looks pale compared to humanity and it's suffering.
The other thing I found interesting about lessons (tests) in our life is that each and everyday we are shown our weaknesses.
Each step or lesson mastered brings on new challenges. The lesson is to master all the tests and not to succumb to them. By giving up on yourself and staying the same person over and over again you give up on life and your natural progression to evolve.
Over lifetimes the lessons create 'karma' which follows you like a debt card through each life. All of this can get pretty 'heavy and very deep' so when I look at myself I try to keep things Light and one eye on the next lesson I am dealing with and the other eye on the beauty of life that surrounds me.
If you have been reading this.. you probably think I'm an old crazy hippy who thinks too much. Maybe you are right but Think about this for a minute. Are you stuck in a rut and in a revolving door of dating the same 'type' of person' time after time. Not getting ahead financially. Working for idiots who run your life and a feeling of being trapped - no matter what you do?
It is not fate and it is not God's fault. It’s not your neighbor or your boyfriends’ fault it's just how it is in your life. NOW.
You can change the cycle of things in your life by taking these 2 steps..
1. Recognizing your problems - which includes every single one of them.
2. Taking Action in your own life to eliminate the problems.
Simplicity works if you look at the world and your life and work from a focused perspective.
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I know it sounds easier then it is..
When I began looking at all of this I had help and support from Wendy and her friends. We went on a 30 day extensive program to diagnosis every little thing about ourselves that reared it's ugly head.
To live with her was difficult at the time for she would catch all thoughts and actions as they took place verbalizing each one. I in turn also looked deep inside.
It was painful but very helpful for years later it has made me a much better person allowing me to look at my next lesson with eyes wide open.
Since I have lived in so many lifetimes and I have not dealt with all of my tests and lessons the ones I have not dealt with have compounded.
EX: Money, Sex, Guilt, Denial, Ego. They all come into play.
Our natural pattern of growth revolves around evolving - learning and working towards understanding ourselves. This means embracing all the good, the bad and the ugly that completes our make-up.
Through this understanding I embrace the unlimited possibilities of life and what life can bring me. In other words I 'try' to remove all barriers that would obstruct and prevent me to evolve in this lifetime. So I can 'dance' through life with the power of good guiding me.
Wendy and I had bonded and shared many lifetimes together and so did our children. I saw many lives in Atlantis, Egypt and a few in the US. We had some good lives and some terrible lives together.
Our children had been with us before. Daniel, Courtney and Chantal all were born to be with us to help us and to learn - for their growth and ours.
We all chose our parents and the family we are born into. All the good and the bad is set in stone and each new born knows it. It becomes lessons for the parents and for the children. Our children need parenting and help to evolve into healthy adults but the reality of life is that we (adults) are just vesicles for each new life form.
It's exciting to see evolution in motion. Each generation is a little bit more evolved then the next. The 'right step' is to teach from the experience we can offer and let the children ‘go and grow' so they can excel and become their own entities with their own destiny.
Many of the friends we have today have been with us in the past. This is why many of your friends seem comfortable to you - you have known them before - many times before and there is either good or bad karma between you.
My choice to come into this life was not easy - I was destined for something else but my love for Wendy was so great the heavens allowed me to come back to earth to meet up with her and to help her with children and with life.
Our children are special people that were born from an earthly angel that brought them to this place called Earth.
Their unique and loving qualities will be noticed by many. I see it in Daniel each and every day and how he touches people so deeply.
______________________
I was born into Love on the day the world is at bloom with it (2/14). I have tried to let Love guide me but over lifetimes I wandered and strayed from my goals.
Another cycle that has plagued my development is choosing wrong people to associate with and in making wrong choices and decisions along the way.
In one lifetime I made a terrible decision. It was during the Civil War when I was put in charge of a platoon of union soldiers during a march. Despite everyone’s advice including scouts I lead the troop down the wrong road and directly into the line of fire from the enemy we were all killed in a hail of bullets and cannons.
Good lives and bad lives they All equate who we are today and regardless of what I had done in the past I convinced someone above for I was allowed into this life. to find her and to amend myself from past mistakes.
My astrology chart ties me into the ‘airhead’ category filled with Aquarius/Pieces. I am almost 100% with Air and Water which makes me a dreamer - fantasizer and futurist.
My 'airhead' qualities leave me out of place allot BUT that was part of the deal I had from above because of my past lessons and past deeds I could come in to this place and ‘try’ to find her but to be here there would be a price to pay and many lessons to overcome - My soul challenges would be great.
If I agreed - I had the opportunity to 'Search' for her and if I was lucky ..really lucky..
I could find her again..
So I came to earth.
_________________
In my early 20’s I used to walk down the street with friends urging strangers to ‘wake-up’..
It seemed like the generation of the ‘60’s awoke one day and decided to enjoy life while the rest of the world was still asleep at the wheel. You could see it in their eyes - Robots in society - walking, talking like the rest of us but just going through the motions.
Wendy’s deep study of spirituality led her into a sincere quest to find the ‘truth’. She first needed to know what made her tick.
Her 'wake-up call' lead her into all areas of study where she painstaking took apart books of wisdom and all of it’s messages.
She possessed an uncanny talent to read between the lines and to get past the basic written words to delve deep into the meaning and essence of what was written, why it was written and most important WHAT was behind the message.
To help her further she would meditate on a lot of the work she read always searching and diagnosing the knowledge and the truth.
She read the bible constantly - looking ‘through’ the hidden language it contained always searching and finding new lessons that could be shared.
Through this many things surfaced and were taught to me and other friends. The beauty of these teachings was not WHAT they contained but HOW each of us should interpreter the information and use it in our daily lives.
Letting Go of the Human Will is the biggest lesson man is faced with. Some time ago man separated himself from God or the power that created us - when that separation took place it disconnected people from a utopian life-style setting in motion ‘Free Will’.
Bridging the gape between ‘Free Will’ and the perfection and understanding of
Ultimate higher powers (God) – LOVE is the challenge and test and why we are here on earth.
If we were perfect like many of the ‘higher powers’ we simply would not be here.
PERIOD.
_________________________
HIGHER STILL
The night sky is hypnotic to me the stars, formations and consolations seem to go on forever and they probably do - for us to think we are the only planet with life on it is short-sided - I know there is life out there -maybe there are just tiny life forms (the water they just found on Mars) or perhaps higher life forms that have evolved over the ages and have mastered many things like TIME, SPACE and THOUGHT...
A very high form of intelligence contacted us through Wendy one day when she 'let go' in a deep meditation. Trusting she was safe ‘an intelligence’ spoke through her. I personally witnessed these events doubting them at first but knowing Wendy had no motive to perform tricks or to look for added attention.
The darkened room we were in came in and out of colors as crystal clear as a rainbow. The energy the entity spoke from was a striking 'purple. The energy that came through her during these sessions pierced through us like electricity and after each session Wendy was like a human light socket clinging to me like a little puppy trying to relax and calm down.
It was hard to disprove. I had never felt energy like this in my life. The room we were in permeated with a unique intensity and my body felt the energy shooting through it.
So whatever was going on had my attention!
Valdek - the entity that spoke was an extremely high intelligence that lives in some sort of energy field. He and his group from this plane are beyond Time and Space and a big part of their job (mission) is to watch over planets especially earth.
Earth was created as a gift to mankind and nature.
A place of beauty, a place of learning (lessons) and a gift from the universe that should be enjoyed - looked after and cared for. There is a 'heart-beat' a Mother Earth presence that feels all the good and all the bad that takes place on the planet.
Because man is so self-destructive and willful the higher powers are greatly concerned and they did not know how much time earth had left. Mother Earth - the heart-beat (or Soul) on our planet is not happy and fed up with the abuse of her home.
She is about to start shrugging off the inhabitations.
All SHE lives for is PEACE, BEAUTY and HARMONY.
That's all she knows. The planet is getting very crowded and very negative each and every day. She is not happy with us and how we are taking care of this place we call home..
I didn’t look at these messages with fear but I easily could have when VALDEK spoke it was a piercing tone that permeated the room and everything in it. He was very clear and forthcoming and as he spoke a great alarm bell went off in my heart for he spoke with an urgency – a plea. The experience left little to doubt.
Something was happening and something will happen soon on earth and it is up to us to either create a Positive environment or a Negative environment while we are here.
My heart also knows something GOOD is going on despite what seems like overwhelming negativity.
1. There is too much going on right now with the planet to ignore the warning signs. A shift of some kind is in the future.
Maybe it's global warming and nature's way of solving the pollution and disrespect. The time- less calendars from the Mayan and Inca civilations stop at 2012. Prophets throughout the ages have predicted changes close to this time.
Whatever happens and when it happens should not bring Fear to the heart..
The signs of change and prophecies are meant to bring Hope.
Hope means A TIME for a new beginning.
2. Many prophets and wise men have delivered similar messages when Jesus was among us many years ago he brought to the people hope and the wisdom to understand. Most religions put the entire burden of civilization on his shoulders. In physical form he was whipped, beaten, and hung on a cross till he died.
He already gave himself for us. He has nothing to prove but before he left he gave us a very important message.
A message designed to help each of us begin anew and to walk on a path towards good. The answer is simple - the answer to a better world lies within each of us. Right Now - the time of salvation is NOW and it is within YOU.
To understand unconditional love you have to live it - experience it and embrace it fully - my respect to God or a higher power is equal to nothing else. The religions and ministries of the world can bring people together in an understanding of this message BUT the real truth lives within all of us. It lives within YOU.
Only YOU know who you are and what your lessons are and how you act towards yourself and others. Maybe it's a time for all of us to reflect on this. Maybe it's a time to Wake-up and become the person we are supposed to be and to stop blaming others for the mistakes and lessons of our own life.
_________________
It all starts with each of us. I am not perfect but I gave myself totally for my children just as I gave myself for Wendy. The switch that was turned on in my heart helped me to understand love. It also gave me the fuel to move on - to help others along the path. I believe this course of living will be the salvation that separates GOOD from EVIL. EVIL and misaligned souls will not remain if and when a shift occurs.
The people and animals on earth that are supposed to be here and grow into this new dimension (shift) will remain to live here and adapt with the change. It may be just a few people or maybe it will be allot it really depends on each of us and how we live our life.
Surviving is not the issue - LIVING is the issue.
LIVING with LOVE and a purpose in this life is what will determine your fate.
These were not empty words or deeds. Jesus was here to shake up man and to assist in putting us on the right track for a last second chance to save ourselves.
His LOVE for us on earth is so great and so unconditional that it bonded us once again to a higher power allowing us another chance to 'get things right'. It is not far-fetched or gibberish - Unconditional Love is the strongest power and mightiest power there is in the universe.
It is here on earth. It is in each of us if WE WANT IT.
Those of us that look within and turn on the switch and Shine with this LOVE each moment - each day - learning the tests through our weaknesses will use this LOVE to see us through ANYTHING. With this understanding we will move together into this 'shift' and into the next phase of the planet.
Wendy's short life here helped me and others to understand this important message which jump started 'my Little Engine' propelling me to create a better life.
This is all I know. This is all I Iive for -
'Yes I Can...Yes I Can..' and the Little Train chugged up the hill and over the Mountain. Nothing could slow him down or stop him.
The mission of life was calling.
___________________________
FOOT NOTE:
I could easily discount the information and stories I have just told but if I did it would be like belittling my life, my friends lives, relatives and Wendy’s incarnation.
SOMETHING has to make sense of our existence and the reason we are here!
I am pretty sure that this material gets close. Very close to the truth!
But there is a pretty simple plan for you. SEARCH for your own truth. When you start that quest turn over every leaf in the book called life and then draw your own conclusions.
From my heart. Thank you..
I am ready for the next chapter.
JHENSEL
TALES OF A SUBURBAN GYPSY
2008
----------------------------------------
THE MISSION OF LIFE
Is not
the things that you want most
it is quite the opposite
and hardly true
as I look out the window and think of You
like so many times before the wrong people are in power
or so it seems…for fairness and innocence
are disposed of in the wind
we all see the turmoil and chaos
you have brought to our World
(enjoy this now) and please beware
your days of greed, hate and wrongful action
will disappear
and in front of your redden-eyes
you will be sitting
alone in fire-a victim of Your own destiny
the reality you bestowed on others
will now become yours…all yours
fear and destruction
will haunt you and live in your mind the rest of your days
I have watched, waited and stayed
STRONG
VIGILANT
And ALERT
waiting for you to slip while
protecting the innocent you have eaten for years
in patience and hidden strength
strong to the last
I am here to say
That GOOD GUYS don’t come in second anymore
our time has come…
we will SOON rule the day!
THE MISSION OF LIFE IS CALLING
Notes
The amazing people listed helped bring this book to life. THANK YOU.
Author Photo –David Schuler
(clothes by Savioni)
Wendy Photo – J. Hensel
Richie Havens- John Haritos
Story Illustrations – Joel E. Roberts
Illustration Editing - Big Bill Hamilton
Editorial assistance – Patricia Lynch
‘One Horse Open Sleigh’ – James Lord Pierpont, 1857
the author
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By now I had lived in Manhattan for six months or so and again became a pawn for Jerry’s business deals—either people were on to his scams or he really was a lousy employer.
LOST FOREVER
DANCING IN THE HEAT