Sometimes I ask myself, “What’s that got to do with the price of egg salad in Montgomeryville?” Turns out that the price of egg salad in Montgomeryville is quite unreasonable. I didn’t know.
See, I like egg salad sandwiches. Even if they are not, egg salad sandwiches in my mind appear to be a more healthy eating choice than say, cheeseburgers or nachos. And as I continue to watch what I eat at this stage of my life – which believe me is not nearly as much fun as shoving chocolate cream pie and ice cream into my face – adding egg salad sandwiches to my healthier lifestyle menu of veggie patty sandwiches at least gives me a sense of security that I am making good choices.
So after a recent walk of five miles, which I do several times a week, I decided to treat myself . . . to an egg salad sandwich. I know, it’s not really much of a treat, but it really doesn’t do much good to put in all that hard work exercising and then go out afterwards and have a hot-fudge sundae.
So I stopped a diner, which will remain nameless, on the way home for an egg salad sandwich. In fact, I was hungry enough that I decided to order two egg salad sandwiches.
I gave the waitress my take out order not even bothering to check the menu. I had been to this diner before and had not noticed anything out of the ordinary in the egg salad department.
When my order was completed and I gave my ticket to the lady at the cash register, my bill rang up at $14.80. For two egg salad sandwiches.
“That can’t be right, $14.80 for two egg salad sandwiches?” I said to the lady, who graciously started thumbing through the menu with enthusiasm suggesting to me that even she didn’t believe that a personal loan would be required to buy two egg salad sandwiches.
Alas, the total was correct. And by the time I got to the car, I was steamed, which by the way did nothing but wilt the egg salad sandwiches. All the way home I was upset with myself for: (1) Not looking at the menu before I ordered; (2) For just stating my dismay at the ridiculousness of paying that much for two egg salad sandwiches; (3) Just leaving the take out bag on the counter and walking out in disgust.
But since I did none of those things, I figured these ought to be the two best egg salad sandwiches in the history of egg salad. Then at least I would feel that I got my money’s worth.
Well, they weren’t the best egg salad sandwiches in the history of egg salad. They were nasty. And I was even more steamed.
That’s because I could have had a hot fudge sundae for five bucks.
I hate watching what I eat. It isn’t cost effective at all.

Labels: egg salad, Mike Morsch, Montgomery Newspapers, Montgomeryville, Outta Leftfield