For the aspiring Jedi...

Want to look like a Gregorian monk (or Obi-Wan Kenobi) in the comfort of your Ikea display of a living room? If not, I pity you. If so, I urge you to consider the Slanket.

For the not-so-Walmart price of $44.95, you could one-up Linus by wearing your micro-fibrous source of security (and by sucking your thumb through its copious sleeves, if you -- gag-- so choose. )

(Picture: Peanuts.com)

The Slanket is 5 feet wide and nearly 8 feet long -- perfect for sliding down a flight of stairs to rekindle the simple joys in life that you've been trying to experience vicariously through children, TV and Nintendo Wii, but now realize that it's not working and you regret the trade-off you made so painfully long ago.

Other suggested uses for the Slanket:

1.) Hop on a co-workers's shoulders and ask passers-by to sign a petition to make the workplace more "giant Jedi accessible." (Oh, how I miss "Scrubs.")

2.) Line the Slanket with double-sided tape, line the double-side tape with plastic cutlery and walk through an upscale restaurant offering diners "imported kitchenware at a deep discount."

3.) Find the nearest carnival and see how many kids can ride your Slanket down a giant slide without subsequent injury.

The possibilities are endless! Watch your step.