Ed, I’m calling about Barack Obama. I believe he’s a very nice guy and he’s going to do a good job, BUT you gotta remember one thing: they keep talking that he’s African-American. You are what your mother is. His mother is white. So as far as I’m concerned, he’s a white man. That’s my opinion.

Pigment

Actually, he’s... oh, who cares? He’s a man. He’s human. He’s an American. He’s the president-elect. And besides, humans originally come from central Africa, so, you know. Do the math. Did I say central Africa? Or the Garden of Eden, which, I think, is somewhere south of Des Moines.— Ed. Note