Elephant vasectomist and other jobs you wouldn’t want

Popular Science’s “10 Worst Jobs in Science” this year (July issue) included the divers who scrub the walls of pits of sewage, toxins and nuclear waste; the elephant vasectomist (wielding a 4-foot-long laparoscope to deal with the 12-inch-wide testicles); carcass-preparers who ship cat, frog, shark and even cockroach bodies to be studied in science classes; the whale researcher who admitted she was “surprised” at “how much you could learn about a whale through its feces”; and the volunteers who lie still for up to 21 days to study the effects of weightlessness (for $2,000 a week).

HOLY COW! — Among the tax sweeteners offered by states to welcome relocating businesses is Texas’ easy-to-get farmland benefit. When the huge Fidelity Investments company bought a 300-acre plot near Dallas for a new office, it made sure to put 25 head of cattle on the land, which the Boston Herald found reduced its real-estate tax bill by about $360,000 a year under what it would pay without the cattle.
‘Farmer’ subsidies — In May, a coalition of Washington groups unveiled a searchable computer database listing agriculture subsidies by recipient, which revealed what such “farmers” as David Letterman and basketball player Scottie Pippen receive federal funds for incidental farm uses of their land.

COKED PIANO IS OFF-KILO — When a grand piano played an off-key note, drug police in this Caribbean port opened it up and found some 560 pounds of cocaine stuffed inside.
The piano was part of a shipment of household items originating in the capital of Bogota and destined for Panama, police said in a statement yesterday.
Authorities were investigating, but had made no arrests. The drugs’ value was estimated at $5 million.
Agents in Cartagena noticed the piano was suspiciously heavy and decided to tap some keys, only to find the sound quality seemed strange, the statement said. The cocaine was discovered packed into various recesses of the instrument.
Colombia produces about 90 percent of the cocaine consumed in the United States, most of which is trafficked through Mexico and Central America.