DLN Pranked
This is something that was sent to the Daily Local News last week from a reliable source. It had us going for a couple of hours.
PRESS RELEASE
March 20, 2008
For Immediate Release
Contact:
Kesher Israel Congregation
610 692 7210
Happy Purim From KI
Kesher Israel Congregation to Purchase West Chester YMCA
By Morty N. Hayman for the Jewish Daily News
In a surprise announcement, Kesher Israel President Ilene Cetlin Lipow reported today that the board of directors of the Congregation has signed an agreement of sale to purchase the West Chester YMCA to be used as a recreational facility for the benefit of Kesher Israel member families. According to Lipow, private negotiations have been underway for over 4 months with the West Chester YMCA and their realtor. The YMCA is building a new facility on the corner of Airport Road and Paoli Pike in West Chester which is expected to be completed by the end of the year. Lipow said that the congregation would like to take occupancy by July 1 so that Kesher Israel members can start enjoying the benefits of the use of the Y facility by the beginning of the Synagogue's new fiscal year. An arrangement is being worked out such that Kesher Israel will go to settlement as of June 30th and lease back the facility to the Y for the duration of time needed to complete the new building.
When asked for details of the purchase price and financing, board members were reluctant to speak on the record, stating only that there were several very generous donations for the multi-million dollar facility, and that Kesher Israel dues were expected to double. Brad Rappaport, a Vice-President, confirmed that most Kesher Israel members pay substantial dues at area fitness facilities and would no longer have those expenses thus leading to no increase in net outlay for most members with some even seeing a decrease in their total worship/fitness budgets.
As expected, reaction was swift and varied. Vice-President Jim Tischler, a cyclist, mentioned some disappointment that the Y did not contain a cycling facility. "Hey, if I'm going to be paying for the facility anyway, I'll bike around the pool if I have to", said Tischler. Suzanne Taylor, another Vice-President, related that the community has had a Mikveh (a ritual immersion pool) on its wish list for years to be used for conversions, monthly ritual purifications, and other uses. "This superb facility has two pools and one could be easily converted into a Mikveh. I hate to bring this down to dollars and cents, "said Taylor, "but KI should be able to make some big bucks from rental fees for the West Chester Mikveh. We'd better if we're going to offset the new mortgage." Past Presidents Morrie Gold, Maury Hoberman, Burt Neil and Glenn Paskow, all members of Mitch's Gym in West Chester, stated that they are prepared to drop their Mitch's membership like a hot bowl of matzah ball soup. As Hoberman pointed out, "I've been studying the Talmud on this issue and it is my firm belief that a 50 pound dumbbell at Mitch's weighs the same as a 50 pound dumbbell at the Y." As a bonus, Gold indicated that current Synagogue Manager David Kleinman was a certified fitness trainer and would serve in that additional capacity at the new facility. "Members of the board were understandably surprised to find out that I had that capability," said Kleinman.
Rabbi Eric Rosin, spiritual leader of the congregation, expressed his pleasure at the addition of a recreational facility to the mix of offerings that Kesher Israel would have. "Between the new Mikveh, the ability to offer such classes as Torah Yoga, Jewish meditation, Kosher Pilates, Hagbah lessons, and others, this is a fantastic opportunity." Rosin's only misgiving came when he was asked about his plans for personal use of the new facility. "I've been looking for a gym that I could join where I wouldn't bump into members constantly. I guess I'll have to keep looking."
Lipow indicated that a small committee was being formed to kasher (ritually purify) the new facility. So far they've purchased the blowtorches, contacted the fire marshal, and are in the process of determining which pieces of equipment will need to be treated before July.
A grand opening and dedication ceremony is planned for the fall.
Happy April Fools Day!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PRESS RELEASE
March 20, 2008
For Immediate Release
Contact:
Kesher Israel Congregation
610 692 7210
Happy Purim From KI
Kesher Israel Congregation to Purchase West Chester YMCA
By Morty N. Hayman for the Jewish Daily News
In a surprise announcement, Kesher Israel President Ilene Cetlin Lipow reported today that the board of directors of the Congregation has signed an agreement of sale to purchase the West Chester YMCA to be used as a recreational facility for the benefit of Kesher Israel member families. According to Lipow, private negotiations have been underway for over 4 months with the West Chester YMCA and their realtor. The YMCA is building a new facility on the corner of Airport Road and Paoli Pike in West Chester which is expected to be completed by the end of the year. Lipow said that the congregation would like to take occupancy by July 1 so that Kesher Israel members can start enjoying the benefits of the use of the Y facility by the beginning of the Synagogue's new fiscal year. An arrangement is being worked out such that Kesher Israel will go to settlement as of June 30th and lease back the facility to the Y for the duration of time needed to complete the new building.
When asked for details of the purchase price and financing, board members were reluctant to speak on the record, stating only that there were several very generous donations for the multi-million dollar facility, and that Kesher Israel dues were expected to double. Brad Rappaport, a Vice-President, confirmed that most Kesher Israel members pay substantial dues at area fitness facilities and would no longer have those expenses thus leading to no increase in net outlay for most members with some even seeing a decrease in their total worship/fitness budgets.
As expected, reaction was swift and varied. Vice-President Jim Tischler, a cyclist, mentioned some disappointment that the Y did not contain a cycling facility. "Hey, if I'm going to be paying for the facility anyway, I'll bike around the pool if I have to", said Tischler. Suzanne Taylor, another Vice-President, related that the community has had a Mikveh (a ritual immersion pool) on its wish list for years to be used for conversions, monthly ritual purifications, and other uses. "This superb facility has two pools and one could be easily converted into a Mikveh. I hate to bring this down to dollars and cents, "said Taylor, "but KI should be able to make some big bucks from rental fees for the West Chester Mikveh. We'd better if we're going to offset the new mortgage." Past Presidents Morrie Gold, Maury Hoberman, Burt Neil and Glenn Paskow, all members of Mitch's Gym in West Chester, stated that they are prepared to drop their Mitch's membership like a hot bowl of matzah ball soup. As Hoberman pointed out, "I've been studying the Talmud on this issue and it is my firm belief that a 50 pound dumbbell at Mitch's weighs the same as a 50 pound dumbbell at the Y." As a bonus, Gold indicated that current Synagogue Manager David Kleinman was a certified fitness trainer and would serve in that additional capacity at the new facility. "Members of the board were understandably surprised to find out that I had that capability," said Kleinman.
Rabbi Eric Rosin, spiritual leader of the congregation, expressed his pleasure at the addition of a recreational facility to the mix of offerings that Kesher Israel would have. "Between the new Mikveh, the ability to offer such classes as Torah Yoga, Jewish meditation, Kosher Pilates, Hagbah lessons, and others, this is a fantastic opportunity." Rosin's only misgiving came when he was asked about his plans for personal use of the new facility. "I've been looking for a gym that I could join where I wouldn't bump into members constantly. I guess I'll have to keep looking."
Lipow indicated that a small committee was being formed to kasher (ritually purify) the new facility. So far they've purchased the blowtorches, contacted the fire marshal, and are in the process of determining which pieces of equipment will need to be treated before July.
A grand opening and dedication ceremony is planned for the fall.
Happy April Fools Day!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
posted by Anne Pickering at
11:52 AM
1 Comments:
I wish I were that smart. Everytime I try to prank the DLN I can't resist adding in info about a UFO. It always gives it away.
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