Friday, January 11, 2008

Top ten New Years resolutions (probably) no one makes

I tacked a version of this onto a story about local politicians' new years resolutions that ran Jan. 1, just as a bit of fun, but it didn't make the cut. That's alright, though - this version is so much better that comparing the two would be like comparing a walrus to Andy Reid.

That's a bad example, but you get the point:

1. Get fat(ter).
2. Take up smoking.
3. Kick more puppies.
4. Consolidate my debt. (Into larger debt.)
5. Be more of a jerk.
6. Stop grooming.
7. Contract more STDs.
8. Oral surgery!
9. Have less sex.
10. Eat a baby.

2 Comments:

Blogger David Diano said...

Alex-
I would not be shocked if Spencer made a few of those resolutions. 3, 5 and 6 come to mind.

BTW, #7 and #9 seem to be at cross-purposes. Seems it would be more difficult to contract STD if you are having less sex.

The trouble with #10 is finding the right sauce.

January 15, 2008 10:13 AM 
Blogger The Ayatollah of Rock N Rollah said...

Hey, I never said it was the same person making those resolutions.
Also, you might want to check "A Modest Proposal" for recipe ideas.

January 17, 2008 5:30 PM 

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