The Phoenix Files

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Monday, February 9, 2009

Elevating Discourse Since 2009

Good Morning: I was disappointed to open the Editorial Page of today's Phoenix to see that you saw it fit to give column space to a man that denies the man made existence of global warming and that something should be done to fix the problem. It is sad because I have followed the markedly conservative bend in the Ed. Page and I believe that all common sense has been lost by your staff and your parent company. Because my expectations are so low for the trash syndicate writers you choose to print, I would not be surprised to open the paper on Monday and see a piece that is headlined "False Claims of German Jews on their Treatment in the 20th Century" or "African Americans Overreacting to Perceived Rascism by KKK" or "Shoe Wearing and Non-Pregnant Women Chastized for Working Outside the Home". It is all crazy and need to stop. I have a dog that eats his own feces. It is a gross habit but he just sneaks off when I am not looking and chows away at a big pile of his own (or other dogs) waste. Every once in a while, perhaps a couple of times a week, he gets too much or a bad batch and vomits it all over the floor. It is a smelly mess that is mixed with real food and water. A hot steaming puddle of slop that makes me feel ill because I just witnessed a helpless little thing puke dog shit. I usually can't get the smell out of the house right away. Feces, stomach fluid, and that fake bacon smell that they put in dog food is not a mixture you want for a potpourrii. It lingers for a while. You have to find the right cleaner and plenty of paper towels. You don't want to get that vile mess on your hands. It was the same feeling I shared when I read your paper today. I will be posting this email on my blog. If you choose to respond, I will post your response. As for reading your paper, there is no sense. There is nothing that you cover that anyone wants to read. Do you need to have the lady with the face transplant on the front page of the website? There was a time that I bouth the paper 3 times a week and actully read it (Monday, Wed, and Thurs. or Skip, KWill, and Rettew)

(signed by)
Mr. E. Toohey


Our Response:



MAN-BEAR-PIG IS REAL! I'm super cereal guys.

Posted by,
Buford T. Justice and E. Bo. Gain

P.S.
See we can use fake names too! (And ours aren't pretentious)

1 Comments:

Blogger The Chicken Cacciatore Project said...

Who will be victorious and who will be vanquished in this epic battle between the vacuous and and the vulgar?

February 10, 2009 12:06 PM  

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