PHOENIXVILLE -- Shockwaves rocked the Phoenixville Area School District this week as newly appointed Superintendent Serpentor was able to crush all opposition to his appointment to the office.
In a tension filled session, school board members Count Chocula and Dean Wormer, under threat of pain of death, reversed their votes to give Serpentor a solid majority. Count Chocula narrowly dodged a viper spear that was aimed at his heart, while Saddam Hussein was removed from the meeting after being exposed to mutant spores; his condition is currently quite unknown.
Once completing his own coronation, the new superintendent revealed his five-year plan. Under this new plan, current projects to construct new schools would be abandoned to focus on bring together all the components to complete the Broadcast Energy Transmitter (or B.E.T.). Many in the audience grew confused, thinking that Serpentor meant that the school district would be building a new Black Entertainment Television. Thirty-four were killed in his ensuing rage.
“Even now, our agents are moving swiftly to ensure our victory over high class sizes, shrinking budgets and G.I. Joe,” said the new superintendent. “Soon, the Phoenixville Area School District will reign supreme over all of the Commonwealth! This I command!”

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Buford T. Justice and E. Bo Gaine