Well it’s finally May, and you know what that means- a whole month meant to commemorate vinegar, Navajo code talkers, bikes, and correct posture. National Backyard Games Week is 19th -26th. So go outside and play FOUR SQUARE, kick ball, red rover, capture the flag, man hunt, hide and go seek, duck-duck goose, and any other fun-filled outdoor activity. As for the rest of May and June…
May 28th- Today is the day of rhetorical questions. If someone asks you a question, you have to answer it with a rhetorical question (a question asked solely to produce an effect or to make an assertion and not to elicit an actual reply, such as WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?) Rhetorical! Questions! Day!
May 30th – Here’s to all of the kids that never got to go to space camp as a child. To those who watched Legends of the Hidden Temple, and saw the winning team get the glorious prize of a week long session at NASA Camp at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida after successfully going through the temple, here’s your holiday! You’re never too old for space camp on National Make Your Own Space Camp Day. Have your own space shuttle missions, eat freeze-dried food, make your own Gravity Chair by tying bungee cords to a tree or something of that sort, (I am not liable for any injuries), and wear white jumpsuits to school.
In other news, June is Accordion Awareness Month [so we can be aware of how neat accordions really are], and National Soul Food Month. June 2nd-6th is the first annual International Wear Neon Clothing to School Week, and June 7th-14th is National Clothesline Week ANNNDD David Bowie Appreciation Week.
June 9th- It is in fact Donald Duck Day on this brilliant Monday, which is celebrated internationally, even in Finland. The popular rumor that Donald Duck was banned there because he didn’t wear pants, is actually completely wrong [unfortunately]. On this day, watch obscure Donald Duck movies from the 40’s, like Donald Duck Gets Drafted (I kid you not. Hopefully it’s the older version of Ernest In the Army?)
June 12th- It’s the day to celebrate your very own favorite machine, whether it’s the Gravity Chair, the Clapper to turn on and off your lights, the vacuum sealer, or anything. Today is the day to appreciate these ground-breaking inventions, and ponder how boring life would be if they never existed – it’s National Machine Day!
June 13th- Today it’s the only Friday the 13th in 2008, and ironically also the same day that we seniors graduate. It’s also National Juggling Day, which makes this day even more amazing. Fun things to juggle with: cutlery, Snack Packs, and so on and so forth.
And that, my friends, brings us to the end of the year. But for a limited time only, I will include a list of holidays to celebrate in the summer. They are as follows…
July 4th- Prop a Boom-Box on Your Shoulder Day
July 27th- Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day
July 28th- Singing Telegram Day
August 2nd – National Mustard Day
August 8th- Sneak Some Zucchini on Your Neighbor’s Porch Night
August 17th- The Meaning of “is” Day

Posted by
Andrea Purcell

“See which flavor you like and I’ll have it for you/come on in to my store, I’ve got candy galore,” are the opening lyrics of the song “Candy Shop,” from Madonna’s 11th studio album, Hard Candy, which has proven to be a hit amongst both critics and fans alike. Released on April 29th, Madonna has used this album to collaborate with such prominent acts as Timbaland, Danjahandz, Pharrell Williams, Justin Timberlake, and Kanye West, displaying a plethora of fresh catchy and innovative sounds, while still remaining true to her classic roots. On the chart-busting “4 Minutes,” featuring Mr. Timberlake himself, Madge and JT sing an upbeat “We’ve only got four minutes to save the world,” referring to the length of the single. The song “Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You,” co-written by Timberlake, resembles that of Justin’s former hit “What Goes Around…Comes Around,” an enticing invitation to the remainder of the album. Although Madonna clearly uses such collaborations to keep her image current and up to date, the teamwork proves to be engaging and interesting. Not only does the album have a modern sound, but audiences are familiar with the works of counterparts Timbaland and Danja, thus helping to improve upon the album’s quality. Among the other good songs on Hard Candy is the song “Give It 2 Me,” which declares Madonna’s wild persistence as the ‘material girl’ that we all know and love through lyrics such as “Give me the bassline and I’ll shake it/Give me a record and I’ll break it.” The song “She’s Not Me” proclaims her reign as the queen of pop when she sings, “She’s not me/She doesn’t have my name/She’ll never have what I have/It won’t be the same.” Furthermore, the songs “Heartbeat” and “Incredible” demonstrate Madge’s ability to pen a good dance song, while the songs “Miles Away” and “Dance Tonight” tone things down to a slow, but steady beat. Admittedly, I find Hard Candy to be more enjoyable than her last album Confessions On A Dance Floor, but both sound relatively similar. Although her new image proves entertaining, nothing can top her 80’s persona as the “virgin bride,” rolling around seductively on the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards. It is expected that Madonna will tour in honor of Hard Candy, so I encourage you to go pick up her new album, whether it be the regular version, or the deluxe version that features the bonus track “Ring My Bell” as well as remixes of the songs “4 Minutes” and “Give It 2 Me.” And if you’re lucky enough, grab some tickets to any of her upcoming shows. I promise she won’t disappoint. By Dani Moore “See which flavor you like and I’ll have it for you/come on in to my store, I’ve got candy galore,” are the opening lyrics of the song “Candy Shop,” from Madonna’s 11th studio album, Hard Candy, which has proven to be a hit amongst both critics and fans alike. Released on April 29th, Madonna has used this album to collaborate with such prominent acts as Timbaland, Danjahandz, Pharrell Williams, Justin Timberlake, and Kanye West, displaying a plethora of fresh catchy and innovative sounds, while still remaining true to her classic roots. On the chart-busting “4 Minutes,” featuring Mr. Timberlake himself, Madge and JT sing an upbeat “We’ve only got four minutes to save the world,” referring to the length of the single. The song “Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You,” co-written by Timberlake, resembles that of Justin’s former hit “What Goes Around…Comes Around,” an enticing invitation to the remainder of the album. Although Madonna clearly uses such collaborations to keep her image current and up to date, the teamwork proves to be engaging and interesting. Not only does the album have a modern sound, but audiences are familiar with the works of counterparts Timbaland and Danja, thus helping to improve upon the album’s quality. Among the other good songs on Hard Candy is the song “Give It 2 Me,” which declares Madonna’s wild persistence as the ‘material girl’ that we all know and love through lyrics such as “Give me the bassline and I’ll shake it/Give me a record and I’ll break it.” The song “She’s Not Me” proclaims her reign as the queen of pop when she sings, “She’s not me/She doesn’t have my name/She’ll never have what I have/It won’t be the same.” Furthermore, the songs “Heartbeat” and “Incredible” demonstrate Madge’s ability to pen a good dance song, while the songs “Miles Away” and “Dance Tonight” tone things down to a slow, but steady beat. Admittedly, I find Hard Candy to be more enjoyable than her last album Confessions On A Dance Floor, but both sound relatively similar. Although her new image proves entertaining, nothing can top her 80’s persona as the “virgin bride,” rolling around seductively on the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards. It is expected that Madonna will tour in honor of Hard Candy, so I encourage you to go pick up her new album, whether it be the regular version, or the deluxe version that features the bonus track “Ring My Bell” as well as remixes of the songs “4 Minutes” and “Give It 2 Me.” And if you’re lucky enough, grab some tickets to any of her upcoming shows. I promise she won’t disappoint. Posted By Dani Moore

Sirens blare. Gunfire erupts. The police are after you, for a myriad number of reasons. Perhaps you shouldn’t have broken into that expensive sports car in full view of the police. Maybe you shouldn’t have shot that random motorist, even is he/she was on her cellphone and ran you over. And running from that cop right when he was about to cuff you was probably a dumb move. It doesn’t help that you’re in the country fresh off a Ukrainian cargo ship with no Visa. Glock 17 drawn, you duck into an alleyway, estimating that you’ve moved well away from the search radius of the police. As the sirens fade, you breathe a sigh of relief as you put your Austrian-made nine-millimeter handgun away. Looks like you got lucky, again. This situation isn’t something you had in mind when you pictured “The American Dream,” is it?
Certainly, it’s not something that Niko Bellic, the protagonist of Grand Theft Auto IV, imagined when coming to Liberty City in 2008. His cousin, Roman, had been sending him e-mails stating that he was living the good life with women aplenty, a stable of sports cars, and a mansion. In reality, Roman is living in the ethnic Hove Beach community in the Broker section of Liberty City, running a small-time taxi depot. His ‘mansion’ is a run-down studio apartment under the El tracks. This harsh reality is one of the central themes in Grand Theft Auto IV, specifically, stepping into the shoes of an immigrant in search of prosperity in the land of opportunity.
Grand Theft Auto IV has been anticipated with much excitement for some time now. Both the Xbox 360 and the PlayStation 3 have the processing power to accommodate the sheer massiveness of the redesigned Liberty City, and the result is a completely interactive environment rendered beautifully in real time. Game physics are certainly no slouch here. Car damage is more realistic, with bodywork crumpling exactly where impacted. Too bad no one wears seatbelts in Liberty City. Too often, players and NPC’s (Non-Player Characters) alike will drive at high speed and mistakenly collide with a pillar or similar stationary object and fly through the windshield in an explosion of glass and get tossed as far as a whole city block from the site of collision. Even the helicopters in the game are realistic; smack your main rotor against a solid object for too long, and you’ll find yourself falling to the ground like an anvil.
Back on ground level, much like in real life, there is no car that is inaccessible to Niko. Want that flashy sports car? So what if it’s locked? Pressing the button to enter a vehicle will make Niko try the doors on the vehicle in question. If it’s locked, he will use his elbow to smash the window, unlock the door from inside, and then enter the vehicle and start it up by hotwiring it. Don’t do this with police nearby, though, or else you start taking incoming fire from them. If you absolutely must get into a gunfight with anyone, you can engage them from the comfort of the driver’s seat with complete aiming capabilities, meaning that drive-bys are no longer just a matter of “spray and pray,” but rather, actually aiming at your targets. On foot, you can choose to make incapacitating shots at your target by aiming at your target’s arms or legs. Even when you’re not shooting or driving, simply exploring the city (provided you have legal access to all the islands) is an adventure in itself, with realistic travel time. It takes nearly an hour to get from the eastern end of Liberty City to the western end by car, to say nothing of several hours on foot. Add the option of going on an online crime spree with friends in multiplayer, and you have yourself one crazy fun game.
Of course, such realism has drawn the ire of critics, deeming Grand Theft Auto IV and games like it as “murder simulators,” a phrase not entirely unwarranted, but also an overreaction. Playing games like GTA IV will not influence a player to murder someone in real life. If anything, it’s what keeps players from doing so, since the virtual world of New York-style Liberty City lets one take out all his or her frustrations from real life on in-game enemies. Besides, GTA IV now features consequences for your actions. Letting people live or die when you are forced to choose between the two will affect what happens later in the game. Plus, one cannot forget the situation Niko is in. Both he and his cousin Roman came to America in search of prosperity. What they found were streets paved with blood and violence rather than gold. The two must work their way up from the ground, but in Niko’s case, the work he must do is often less-than-legal, adding more to the skeletons in his closet as a former Serbian soldier in the Bosnian War. Unlike previous games in the series, Grand Theft Auto IV helps you empathize more with the characters in the game as you watch them go through their trials and tribulations. One particularly emotional point in the game is a mission known as “Roman’s Sorrow.” Threatened by the Russian Mafia, Niko and Roman must escape from Broker (the game’s equivalent of New York City’s Brooklyn section) for an indefinite amount of time. Unfortunately, when they go to retrieve their belongings (including an engagement ring Roman was planning to propose to his girlfriend with), it is too late to do so: The Russians have already firebombed both their apartment and Roman’s cab depot. The two leave Broker, with Roman in tears and anguish for good reason. After all, how would you feel if everything you worked so hard to achieve went up in flames, never to be seen again? As you can see, this game has the most gripping storyline thus far in the series.
In short, Grand Theft Auto IV has managed to be more in-depth than its predecessors. Grand Theft Auto IV is no longer simply a mindless smash-and-grab hullabaloo of violence, guns, homicide, and vehicular theft. Taking in $310 million on the very day it was released, the sales record is indicative of the sheer popularity of the much-anticipated game, kicking Halo 3 (what kind of square plays that anymore, anyway?) off of the “First week sales” throne. Because of the large amount of Xbox 360 owners and the somewhat more marginal PlayStation 3 owners (like myself), Grand Theft Auto IV has already made more than $500 million in worldwide sales. So let anti-gaming gorillas like Jack Thompson and Lyndon LaRouche (you might want to Wikipedia the latter just to find out how much of a nutjob this guy is) beat their chests. I’ll just tune them out while I’ve got virtual police on my back

Posted By
Jacob Unson

Romantic comedies. The bane of every guy’s existence. No self-respecting guy wants to sit through some movie loaded with lovey-dovey, romantic scenes that tries to redeem itself through some “funny” one-liners that we all know only women think are funny. At least that’s what I’ve come to expect from this type of movie. Needless to say, when I went to go see Forgetting Sarah Marshall with my girlfriend, Lindsay, I was ready to maybe get a few laughs at some of the jokes throughout the movie, if I was still awake.
Much to my chagrin, I was completely wrong about my expectations for this movie. Although there were still all of the cheesy romantic scenes that guys have come to hate, the movie was surprisingly funny. The storyline follows Peter Bretter (played by Jason Segel), a composer for a hit crime scene TV show starring the one-and only Sarah Marshall (played by Kristen Bell), who just happens to be Peter’s girlfriend. However, after being in the spotlight together for a few years, Sarah Marshall breaks Peter’s heart with a devastating, and hilarious, break-up. When Sarah delivers the news to Peter, he drops his towel, leaving him standing naked, in disbelief. She explains to him that she is “tired” of their relationship, but we find out later in the movie that she has been cheating on him for some time.
After the break-up, Peter sinks into a depression and eventually goes to Hawaii in order to clear his mind. But despite Peter’s attempts to get away from his lost love, he soon discovers that Sarah Marshall is staying at the same hotel as he is, and to top it all off, she’s with her new boyfriend, the crazy musician, Aldous Snow. The plot continues with Peter trying to find new love with one of the hotel employees, Rachel Jansen (played by Mila Kunis) while simultaneously trying to forget Sarah Marshall.
Although the plot is very similar to many other romantic movies (i.e. a bad break-up leads to pursuance of a lost love interest), the cast of this movie was a very surprising and impressive aspect of it. Hilarious actors like Jonah Hill from Superbad and Jason Bateman from Juno and Arrested Development make cameo appearances and keep the audience laughing the whole time. Even obscure characters in the movie like Aldous Snow, played by Russell Brand, are surprisingly funny.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is easily one of the best romantic comedies I’ve ever seen, but it definitely wasn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen. Although the jokes and the comedy in the movie are very funny, the plot still leaves something to be desired. It seems as though the director had a plan for creating the movie, but ran out of time when finishing it. The ending of the movie feels rushed, and leaves the audience wanting to know more. Overall, I would give this movie an A-, and encourage everyone to go see it.
I would recommend this movie to anyone that likes funny movies and I would definitely recommend it to any guy that wants to take their girlfriend to a movie that isn’t just like most, unimaginative “love” movies. Forgetting Sarah Marshall , I’m sure, will give
anyone a laugh.

Posted by
Tim Fritz

SHIZZZAM! BOOM! GLITTER TIME! Kermit and Miss Piggy, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Winnie the Pooh and Michael Jackson, and more came to Phoenixville High School ……in art form, anyway! Some of our high school students created centerpieces for the Relay for Life weekend on May 2nd 2008 that featured many Hollywood stars.
The students who are majoring in art each designed a special centerpiece for the survivor’s dinner, which started off the Relay for Life on Friday May 2nd. With the Relay theme of “Lights, Camera, Action- HOLLYWOOD,” the students, Ms. Saponaro, and Mr. Turley decided they would have these pieces represent an actor or actress from the Hollywood Walk of Fame. At the survivors dinner there were around 400 people present, so these students created about 50 to 60 different centerpieces! All of the art teachers in the district pitched in to this event and created something (placemats, wall decorations, etc.).
With a time span of three weeks to complete this project, all of the students worked very hard to make these pieces amazing. Ms. Saponaro explained what materials were needed make the centerpieces. She said, “They used foam core, papier mache, glitter, Adobe Photoshop (on the computer), and vellum to just name a few.” Some of the many students who created pieces were senior Rachel Kinback, senior Lauren Tassoni, junior Erin Hulse, senior Andrea Purcell, junior Jen McAvoy, and junior Ruth Jasienski.
Senior Rachel Kinback was very creative and made a centerpiece of Kermit the frog and Miss Piggy. Kermit is serenading Miss Piggy with a banjo atop of a lily pad. Rachel said, “I always liked Kermit and Miss Piggy, so I decided to make them. I also jazzed it all up and added glitter too!!” It took her about two to three weeks to make this amazing piece. She said, “I really wanted to do this for the Relay because it’s such a good event to contribute to.” Rachel finished her Kermit and Miss Piggy piece so quickly that she had enough time to create two other pieces, Casablanca and Elizabeth Taylor. She said, “I enjoyed this project because I could work with different materials that I can’t work with when we do other projects.”
Another artist, Ruth Jasienski, decided to make the pole from Singing in the Rain with Gene Kelly dancing and singing with an umbrella. She explained, “Ms. Sap and I thought it would be a good idea to do Gene Kelly because it is an oldie that people probably know and it’s also a goodie!” Ruth wanted to contribute to this project for two reasons: one, to get a good grade on this project and in the class, and two, because it’s a good, well-known event and she wanted to contribute to it.
I went to the Relay on May 2nd and I checked out all of the pieces; they were amazing! During the night on Friday May 2nd, all of the centerpieces had little lights in them which made them glow beautifully in the night. Tickets were sold at a stand for people to win and take them home. All of the students who contributed to this event did a wonderful job and the artwork looked stupendous, but most of all, it represented our school in such a great way!

Posted by
By Becca Furr

On Friday, June 6th, a spaghetti dinner will be held in the Phoenixville High School Cafeteria to raise money for Jesse Chew, a former student at PAHS who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. The food will be prepared by Carrabba’s Italian Grill, and is sure to be delicious. Also, music will be provided the PAHS music department. The theme of the dinner is “Hold the Rope,” which is symbol of Jesse’s “climb” to a healthy recovery. Tickets are $10 ($5 for children under 10). Tickets can be bought at the Central Administration building, and/or Maygan Henzie and Rebecca McCulloch, both juniors at the high school. The dinner is their senior project, but all of the money raised will go to Jesse’s family to help pay for his cancer treatments. This event is a way for you to support Jessie and his family not only with your money, but also with a positive attitude about Jesse’s condition. It is a chance for us to come together as one big Phoenixville family and do something to help out a fellow graduate of the high school. I hope to see you all there!

Posted by
Lindsay Burgess

If one were to look up “Eagle Scout” on Wikipedia, one would learn that the term refers to “A Scout with the highest rank attainable in the Boy Scouting program of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA). Since 1911, the rank of Eagle Scout has been attained by more than 1.7 million young men.” Recently, seven students here at the high school have become part of this elite group. This is not an easy task, because ascending through the many ranks of scouting requires hours upon hours of completing numerous tasks and projects. The following students earned their place with their required Eagle Scout projects:
Senior Colin Small was responsible for mapping a cemetery in Malvern, specifically an area containing the graves of persons dating back to the time of the Revolutionary War. The main difficulty he encountered in the project, said Colin, was that “I signed up to do it really late, and you have to do [all Eagle Scout projects] before your 18th birthday. I was out there every day working.”
Senior Jay Howson did a project similar to that of Colin by performing maintenance on an area of the same cemetery that held the graves of people that were interred in the late 1800’s to the early 1900’s. “Gravestones that are a hundred years old are really hard to read,” said Jay.
Senior Matt Pelligrino restored the Time Capsule circle in Reeves’ Park, which contains the town’s bicentennial time capsule, buried in 1976, which is scheduled for excavation in the year 2076. Matt’s biggest challenge was the weather. He said, “I had to plant bushes and stuff like that, and it was getting to the late part of the fall [season], so I had to get everything done before the frost hit.”
Senior David Celentano took on a rather large task (fortunately, not alone) of restoring the theater and administration building in the Valley Forge National Historical Park. “It was difficult getting all the people working on the project signed off, because when you’ve got people working [on government property], everything has to be made legitimate, or you know, the Secret Service comes after you,” commented David.
Senior Matt Kunz performed a public service by labeling storm drains with “No Dumping” signs to prohibit dumping of leaves and other objects like trash into them. According to Matt, the hardest part of the project was not the execution, but the planning. He explained, “I’d say the hardest part [of the project] was gathering people together for the project… the main difficulty was making sure that people showed up and knew what they were doing.”
Senior Mike Kassel restored the beverage building of the Valley Forge Volunteer Fire Company, where guests can rent out the space for parties. The difficulty of the project apparently lay in the expense. He commented, “It was difficult because it was pretty expensive to do; I had to do a lot of fundraising… my dad and I hired a few contractors to help [us], so for all the manual labor I didn’t know how to do, they taught me how to do it.”
Senior Zach Johnson helped to expand the existing parking lot at the Phoenixville Area YMCA, which used to be little more than a dirt circle. Thanks to his efforts, it looks neater now, with an 11-space gravel parking lot. Zach said that the project resulted in over 200 hours of work. Zach said, “I had about twenty people total helping me on probably about six or seven weekends, and at the end it was like 234 hours total by everyone’s working hours combined.”
Indeed, it was not entirely easy for these students to perform these projects, but David Celentano provided these words of wisdom: “No matter how huge and wide an obstacle is, if you have your eyes on your goal, you can achieve anything.”
So should you see any of these fellows in the halls, congratulate them on a job well done! These guys have certainly performed a great service to the community.

Posted by
Jacob Unson

Going undefeated for one season is definitely a commendable feat, but Boys’ Tennis makes that seem easy with their 194-0 winning streak in the Pac-10. This year’s team was able to hold a good overall record this season, going 11-3 (8-0 Pac-10). Coach (and mayor of Phoenixville) Leo Scoda considered this to be a building year with a young team, which makes it even more exceptional that they were able to continue their record.
With the loss of five seniors, like top doubles team Wanzell Flemming and Pat Womer, second doubles player Kevin Foedinger, and top singles players Kyle MacCelland and Tom McAvoy, it’s easy to see that Coach Scoda was unsure of how this season would turn out. Luckily, there were plenty of underclassmen who were able to take their place and do a great job. The line-up began with Steve Tassone, a sophomore, holding down first singles, followed by junior John Reading and senior Ranney Moran playing second and third singles. Junior Steve Ng and senior Colin Small played first doubles. Yusuf Brown and sophomore Mike Potts started the season playing second doubles. Senior Brian Tassone and junior Mike Reeves played third doubles, but sometimes rotated into second doubles. Finishing at fourth doubles was senior Matt Feldman and freshman John McInally. The captains this season were seniors Colin Small and Brian Tassone, who were the only seniors to play varsity last year.
Overall, this season was a success. “Although the team did take some lumps in the beginning of the year,” as Coach Scoda put it, “they were able to come back even stronger.” The team played in a Kiwanis tournament early on in the season at Arthur Ashe Tennis Center on March 19th and 20th. Despite the team’s third place finish, they were able to learn from their mistakes. It was a great prep for the season and helped the players to grow closer as a team. The team started out rather inexperienced, but over the season they improved greatly and proved themselves to be a dominant force. As the season went on they learned how to work together and work as a team. One of the most enjoyable experiences was the April trip to Sea Colony Delaware to compete in a tournament.
Recently, the boys’ tennis team played in districts and won their first match, defeating New Hope 4-1. The season ended going against the defending AA state champions, Lower Moreland. They put up a valiant fight, but lost 0-5. At singles districts, Steve Tassone reached the quarterfinals. Over the course of the season Assistant Coach Mr. Zittel noticed huge improvements in Steve Tassone. “He should be the league champ next year,” noted Zittel. Then, at doubles districts, Steve Tassone and John Reading were able to reach the semi-finals before losing a tough match to the #1 seeded Lower-Moreland team.
Next season definitely looks promising with many of the varsity team members returning, as well as a huge crop of talented JV players including Kyle Taylor, Kyle Eldridge, Shane Holland, Brian Schanzenbach, James Churgai, Adam Leggieri, and team clown Drew Pilcicki. Coach Scoda said, “Unlike this year, we will have a nice veteran season next year.” It won’t be a season devoted to “filling in” and “rebuilding,” but rather will consist of mostly the same players. Overall, great job this season boys, and good luck next year!

Posted by
Rebecca McCulloch