So I watched Bromance on MTV last night – bad, bad television.
In case your were curious, here’s a rundown – I’ll try to be brief.

Nine contestants from all over the country converged on Los Angeles to meet their idol – Brody Jenner. Brody’s famous for being The Hills’ sometime, sorta, on-and-off BF of Lauren Conrad. Oh, and he’s the son of Olympic Medalist Bruce Jenner. If you know who Bruce is, you’re really dating yourself. That also makes him the stepbro of those awful Kardashian girls. Also, Brody’s incredibly handsome – I’m sure that’s exactly why he’s still on TV. Hey, I’ll admit it. I tuned in last night just to look at him for an hour. And I paid the price … this show is just plain awful!


Really, what guy wouldn't luv Brody?

Anyway, the contestants were put up in a hotel where they all talked about how they couldn’t wait to meet Brody – "he lives the most incredible life" (i.e. doesn’t work and spends his time partying with incredibly great looking chicks). You know, every guy’s dream.
Brody sent his underlings, including Spencer’s replacement Frankie, to the hotel to wake the guys up in the middle of the night for a “come as you are”-style meeting at the …. Wait for it …. BRO-MANSION!! No, I’m not kidding. One dude, Luke, was actually naked.

After cooing and oggling over Brody for most of the night, the guys were given their first task – to invite two ladies to a lingerie party (without mentioning Brody’s name, of course, cuz what girl wouldn’t want to party with him, me included) and have the girls actually show up by 9 pm.

Before getting to the task, the bros got to spend some time learning about each other. Gary’s the wild-haired geek type. Femi’s the token ethnic dude. But my fave was definitely Michael – the admittedly gay guy! WTH is he doing there? At least he fully admits he’s hot for Brody! And the rest just all blur together as the All-American looking jock types.
We get to know them thru their Real World-style confessionals, spoken to us on camera in the – no lie – Can-fessional. Yes, in a bathroom, while sitting on the toilet. I get it – just guys doing guy stuff.

While inside the lingerie party waiting for his guests to arrive, Brody asks Frankie to check on the bros. Frankie feigns being upset over Brody getting to choose a new BF – afterall, isn’t that Frankie’s “job”?

Goofy Gary’s first to get his babes to arrive and enters the party. Soft-hearted Michael gives Brody a birthday card. Luke’s chix show up next. Alex makes it in. The rest of the losers are allowed in despite the fact that their girls didn’t show up, but are forced to stay after and clean up. Whaaaa.

The next day, sensitive Michael asks to speak privately to Brody and lets him know that this isn’t for him and quits. Brody gives him a hug.

Our hero then takes the remaining contestants to his apartment and tells them that whoever wins gets the apartment as a prize – fully furnished with all the best in guy acutrements.
But wait, Brody lets them know that unfortunately someone is going home and they’ll find out who when they join Brody in the hot tub. ????? Yeah, I said in the hot tub. OK, that was just too much for me. I gotta say it – isn’t that a little, you know, gay?
– not that there’s anything wrong with that!

After much soaking and sweating in the tub, Brody decided to send poser Jason home for trying to pass off women he just met on the street outside the club as his score for the party, cussing and not holding his liquor.

Then came my fave part – after Jason leaves, Brody invites all the guys to get back in the hot tub with him. And I was wondering why MTV chose to premiere this fine show in the middle of the holiday TV glut, where it would have absoluely no competition … hmmmmm

I’ll be checking in the the Real Wives of Orange County on Bravo tonight at 10 p.m. just to cleanse myself for watching this craptastic fiesta!

Hey, and guess what – Brett Michael’s Rock of Love Bus is just around the corner, debuting on VH1 Sunday night at 9 p.m. Oh Happy New Year indeed!

Got the Elfman's Top 5 TV shows list and I'll be working on mine tonight. Look for it tomorrow!