Hey Ed, I lost my wallet at Halo Farms and some sweet young woman found it and drove it all the way over to my house to return it to me. I didn’t get a chance to say thank you. Could you do it for me?

Lost and founded

Not a chance! I’m not telling her a thing! ... Just kidding. You already told her. I don’t have to tell her anything. See that! Every time I start to feel a little more cynical somebody like this young woman goes and ruins everything by giving me hope that there is hope out there. Well, I guess there really is hope. Now let’s get it moving in the direction of kicking all these slugs out around here.

— Ed. Note