Ed, you’re the best thing this paper’s got, next to the Page 6 girl. I’m calling about the Trenton crime wave. We live on the 800 block of South Clinton Avenue and we had six vehicles broken into and garages broken into. We called the police and they said they can’t do anything because Palmer and Santiago will not provide the manpower to patrol the streets. We keep calling about the crack houses and the whores. Why doesn’t this stuff appear in the paper? What’s going on?

Crime Reporter

Well, Palmer says he has more cops on the way. In the meantime, try to take advantage of the crime, crack and whores as inspiration for fresh rap lyrics. I’ll beatbox. Ready?—Ed. Note