Hi, Ed, I’m calling about the gang wars in Trenton. So, murderous punks want to kill murderous punks from other gangs. What’s the problem?

Double Elimination

The “problem” is that this is a city — where people work and live and pursue happiness. This is not a battlefield. Even if you believe that gun-toting punks deserve to die — which is not exactly an enlightened opinion, but whatever — have a little heart for the residents of this city who don’t want to dress their children in size-extra-small riot gear so they won’t take a stray bullet to the face riding their BMX bike to the corner store for some bubble gum.—Ed. Note