Hey, I’m calling about energy-efficient cars. Let’s be real, the average family of four — daughter in soccer, son in baseball — we can’t even fit our stuff in a small car. We need a big car. We need a Suburban. We need to make them energy-efficient. The small cars are dangerous. I see it all the time in the industry I work in. People dying left and right. We need to make the big cars energy-efficient.

Big Wheels

Are you an undertaker?—Ed. Note