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Saturday, August 16, 2008

Blissfully Bad Bulwer-Lytton Blog


The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2008 results have been announced. Those who are so excited they can't wait to finish my post here can visit
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

FYI, this is the bad-writing contest named after Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), famous for the opening sentence of a novel that began with "It was a dark and stormy night..." or in full,
β€œIt was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents β€” except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
He's also the author of the quote, "The pen is mightier than the sword."

The 2008 contest winner has its charms, but it appeared in the AP story in Lifestyles in our print edition already, so I'll quote a couple of other entries instead.

(Miscellaneous) Like almost every other post-Hegelian neo-hipster angst monkey at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Rene flatly rejected the labels society placed upon him. -- Bob Salsbury, Spokane Valley, WA

(Runner-Up) "Hmm . . ." thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great gray whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish's bow ties, "time to get my meds checked." -- Andrew Bowers

And now, just in case anyone gets inspired and wants to comment here with their own blissfully bad Bulwer-Lytton lyrics (the rules specify 50 words or less), I'll get things rolling with my own:

By blogging about Bulwer-Lytton, the editor knew she was inviting invidious comparisons coined by foes of The Phoenix; yet -- like her colleagues who often bowed to journalistic tradition (although lacking the cliched flask of whiskey in a desk drawer) and addiction by slipping out for a smoke -- she couldn't resist.
-- Patricia Matson, Editor

1 Comments:

Blogger Phys_Ed said...

How about using a type size that us old people can read without messing around with our browser settings?

August 16, 2008 6:30 AM  

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