Yeah, I know I haven't been blogging... But, you see, my desk at work disappeared. It just VANISHED! What do you want me to do about it??! (It could be under this mountain of work I have to do...but I'm too scared to start looking there.) Hopefully it turns up soon.

Of course, there is the off chance my desk-gone-MIA has been nabbed by those zombies that have been lurking around the country, according to those big orange construction signs. Because, you know, zombies do have a blood-snarling urge for, ugh, desks.

What am I talking about? Well, hacked construction signs around the country have been warning drivers of "Zombies Ahead" instead of "Construction Ahead" or "Slow Down" or "Turn your wipers on" or "Click It Or Ticket" the past month, or so.

Obviously, authority types and the PennDOT folks don't think too highly of this grade-A shenanigan spreading around the country like a virus. But now that the invading undead have made their way to our neck of the woods, I want to know why. Why zombies? Are the zombies fighting back? Is this a futile attempt to take back the fantasy monster throne from the Twilight franchise and it's vegetarian vampires? It's possible. Zombies need love too. They can't stand by as the world falls in love with a romance novel series about vegetarian vampires. It's bad enough that they're talking about making a Lost Boys threequel.

Of course, there aren't REALLY any zombies. It's just some misled brilliant kids wielding their uncanny brilliance to scare old people instead of using it to save the world.

But if you think about it, it's like bathroom stall writing. You want to write something that people will instinctively read, and laugh at. So if you were as smart as these kids, and could and would hack into one of these highway road signs for one hour tonight, what would YOU say? Would you confess your love, or propose marriage? Could you say something to better the world? Or are the gloves off? What would you put on a blinking road sign?

"THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"
"WHERE'S WALDO??"
"UNICORNS ARE REAL"
"THIS IS SKYNET. I AM SELF AWARE"
"TURN AROUND! MAULING BEARS! AH!"
"THE MOONINITES HAVE LANDED"
"U R BEING RICK ROLLED"
"NEWSPAPERS RULE!"
"WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?"
"BIN LADEN AHEAD"
"YOU CANT DRIVE 55"
"HONK NOW OR DIE"
"NAKED HASSELHOFF AHEAD"
"BUSH RE-ELECTED"
"TAG YOU'RE IT"
"TWO FACE LIVES"