Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Is it wrong ...

Is it wrong to look forward to VH1's Rock of Love Bus, starring '80s rocker Brett Michaels?

If so, I'm guilty.

rock of love bus Pictures, Images and Photos
Nothing says Pretentious Jerk like a bus with your pic on it!

Sunday I made sure dinner was over, dishes cleared and cleaned, laundry was done, along with the rest of the post-holiday cleaning, all so I could sit down in my PJs and watch the premiere of Season 3 of my favorite trainwreck (9pm)! And, as a bonus, I treated myself to VH1's newest foray into reality programming -- Confessions of a Teen Idol (8pm). Oh the cholesterol I gained thru this cheesefest was sooo worth it!

Starting with Teen Idol: What can I say about a show that gathers together guys that were once so hot they couldn't walk down the street without women literally throwing themselves at them?
Hosted by former teen idol's Scott Baio and Jason Hervey, from the Wonder Years, (really, he was a teen idol?), this show brings together the "idols" to -- what else -- live in a house together and do what? The show doesn't seem to have a plan for how these guys might recapture their missing fame, but it does provide therapy sessions with a shrink who -- wait for it -- specializes in "fame." WTH??

Can I get one of those degrees -- PhD/Fame?

Eric Nies Pictures, Images and Photos
MTV Real World's Eric Nies?

Anyway, if you're curious, here's the line-up: The Blue Lagoon's Christopher Atkins, TJ Hooker's Adrian Zmed (in case you've been wondering what he's been up to lately), Fame's Billy Hufsey (took me awhile to remember this guy), Beverly Hills 90210's Jamie Walters (I guess he never "talked to an angel" afterall), The Real World's Eric Nies (oh, how I loved him!) and because it was such a HUGE hit, Baywatch has two former teen idols, David Chokachi (I still remember that shot him getting out of the pool in the intro) and little Hoby, Jeremy Jackson (who's not so little anymore).

I know it sounds lame, but I couldn't turn it off! Nies is looking more like JC than the hottie I crushed on, Walters looks like a serial killer, and actually, even though he's the oldest, Zmed looks better than everyone!

Adrian Zmed Pictures, Images and Photos
Yo Adrian!

The first episode gathered the idols at a nightclub where they were supposed to be meeting fans. After standing behind a curtain, hearing their names announced and the accompanying screams from "fangirls," the curtain opened to reveal the shows host and no one else. The screams were all pretaped. Chokachi felt so played that he stormed back home, packed up and left. Something tells me he'll be back next week ...

brett michaels Pictures, Images and Photos
Missed Ya Brett

On to the Rock of Love Bus! Oh yeah, baby! I was a huge fan of VH1's original trainwreck, Flava of Love and didn't think Brett Michaels could fill Flav's shoes. But somehow, this show is just as compelling. There's something about the chicks that are attracted to appearing on this kind of show that's, hmmmm, what's the word, oh yeah -- SKANKY!

Rock of Love Bus Cast Pictures, Images and Photos

Honestly, I've never seen such an array of aspiring playmates/pets, strippers and one porn star since, Season 1 and 2! Seriously, what do these chicks do in the daytime?

The premise, as if you couldn't figure it out, is pretty much the same at The Bachelor. 20 "babes" vy for Brett's undying love, with him sending one home every week until there are just 2 left. Then Brett gets to choose his "true love" -- again! Yeah, this is season 3 and our single rocker vows that if he doesn't find true love this time, he's done! Hmmm what are the chances ...

So the "ladies" all arrived to find out that there won't bea huge mansion to live in this time around. Everyone will be travelling on buses following Brett on his "tour." Only this time, instead of arenas, Brett's playing bars. Which serves this show well, as all the ladies are more than happy to get drunk -- I know, you're shocked! And what happens when skanks drink? Catfights!!

The shenanigans got off with a bang Sunday night, with the ladies getting drunk before even meeting their future love. Catfights ensued and one girl offered Brett a shot by putting the glass where glass should never be put! Yeah, even a veteran rock star like Brett was taken aback by that one! And she wasn't even the porn star, who BTW, isn't doing porn anymore and trying to move on with her life (by appearing on Rock of Love Bus? good move).

Is it any wonder that these broads need Charm School afterwards?

Did I mention that it's very important to Brett that his "lady" can fit into his "rock and roll lifestyle." So important, that he mentions it again and again. I think we should make a drinking game out of it -- like I did with Survivor: Gabon. Every time he says "rock and roll lifestyle," everyone drinks!

If you're interested, both shows repeat tonight on VH1 -- Confessions of a Teen Idol at 9/Rock of Love Bus at 10! Enjoy!

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