Sunday, April 19, 2009

The First Anniversary is Paper

Like guilty spouses, we now confess -- we forgot our anniversary.

It was one year ago April 15, that The Thin Green Line bounded onto the Internet stage with a tiny little splash. A splash that we have cleverly managed to keep tiny by writing over-long entries that no one wants to read. (We cling to the illusion that the tiny splash will make big rippes into the world, it's not much, but it's all we've got.)

So, one year? And here we let it pass without so much as a card.

It's not that you don't mean the world to us dear reader, it's just that well, time gets away from you when you work at a place that used to employ nine reporters and now uses three to produce the same amount of copy.

That's no excuse we know, and we'll do better next year we promise.

As all guilty spouses know, the first anniversary is traditionally celebrated with paper.

But given that there is not much to celebrate at papers these days, and a card is just a waste of trees unless its made from recycled paper (and that's so hard to find at the last minute or, worse yet, when you're late).

So instead we bring you news about another kind of paper.

Specifically, toilet paper.

Yes, we know, you thought we had had our fun with this subject, with liberal applications of toilet humor spread tastelessly throughout a previous blog. But then, Kimberly-Clark, the giant Death Star of toilet paper companies, went and did what we told them to do.

Shamed, chagrined and no doubt intimidated by the dauntless reasoning and peerless prose of our March 12 post about the paucity of toilet paper made from recycled paper, Kimberly-Clark went ahead and, with dizzying corporate aplomb, launched a brand of paper products made from recycled paper.

It was with dumbfound amazement and then a misplaced sense of pride that we read this Reuters article, reporting this spectacular development.

"The launch this month of Scott Naturals makes Kimberly-Clark the first major paper products maker to have a full line that taps into the growing market for environmentally friendly products," the wire service reported.

We would beg to differ, as our beloved Marcal paper products have been made from recycled paper for years. But we don't quibble. We're all about the big picture here at The Thin Green Line.

Of course, still worried about our sensitive nether regions, Kimberly-Clark is only using 40 percent recycled material in its toilet paper, although paper towels will have 60 percent and napkins 80.

Perhaps we'll give them 40 percent of our business in exchange.

But hey, as big name polluters like Clorox see the light (green of course) we have to welcome the converts into the fold and allow them to see that light at their own pace.

In the meantime, we would just like to thank them for giving us another opportunity to use our toilet paper picture on the blog.

But then, you already know how easy we are to please. After all, we've been together for a whole year now.




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