Where's Joe?

Hey all you budding paparazzi out there, it's time for a new game! Capt. Sleepy has already been caught on film so often in action (inaction?) that maybe a new subject would be in order. (See below post anyway!)

Your mission, should you accept it--Find Joe, get him on film and get that footage over here to the insider. Alas, you may have to hang out in Stirling (Morris County) to get him, but if you do accept the challenge, just beware of the influx of unstamped letters and Internet porn floating around in those parts!

To wit, this isn't a frivolous exercise aimed simply at getting another pretty face in the Rag, though Joe's manicured nails and neatly trimmed mustache could give many of our Page 6 girls a run for their money (not including of course Friday's featured honey, Katerina Kopsini, of Bucks County--do not line the bird cage with this one--definitely worth another look if its still hanging around! Yowza!)

I digress. The purpose of this mission is to find out not just where the director lives, but we'd like to know where exactly does he work? What are the city's taxpayers getting for that $100,000-plus salary and all those tanks of free gas.

If, as the director has noted, his family comes first, second and third in his life, and he needs to be with them at home in Stirling to protect them, we wonder how often he's actually down here protecting Trenton from evil.

One highly-placed police source said recently that many weeks, ol' Joe might only be in Trenton about four or five hours, YES HOURS, per week. Good work if you can get it. Now of course that source can't go public with that info, or for sure the director would spend quite a bit more than four or five hours deep in this informant's...you get the idea.

Now we know that even if the department, or the city administration were ever forced to admit this, they'd come back and say something to the effect of, "Well, you know, with today's technology, Joe can be in constant contact with every cop on the force. He's basically all-knowing, all-powerful, and we even hear he has one of those holographic communication devices like the emperor in the Star Wars movies uses, so he can pop up anywhere to check on things with a little (life-size?) holographic version of himself. But don't worry that was paid for with a federal homeland security grant, so that's being put to good use."

Back to Joe tracking.

Just this week, rumors are circulating that Joe called out sick on Thursday, then didn't show up for work Friday, while a CeaseFire program was being hosted in the city (See L.A. Parker's touching story on the event in Sunday's Trentonian). Top local, county and state law enforcement officials were on hand for the program, but ol' Joe was a no-show, presumably still feeling under the weather (so that's what was in his nose in that front page shot!) But later that same night, Joe was rumored to have showed up at a holiday party held at a Hamilton restaurant for the department's Fraternal Order of Police chapter. Glad this guy has is priorities straight.

See more on that discussion over at the Trenton Speaks forum.

But we thought it was the police unions who were behind this nasty campaign of pointing out that Joe's breaking city residency rules. Oh, it must be the other union, the PBA. You know the one with members? Wonder if he got his invite to the PBA's bash?

But again, I digress. So anyway, get out your digital cameras, your disposables, your camera phones, heck, your etch-a-sketches if you think you can get a decent likeness together, and get us some new some good shots of the skipper. Make sure you document time and place and maybe we can piece this puzzle together.

We know, we know crime is down, what difference does it make? Well just imagine what a Shangri La Trenton would be if this guy actually worked here, let alone moved the wife and kiddies in. Why, you could walk down any city street with a shirt made of $100 bills and never worry for a second.

Editor's note: Once this assignment is complete, next stop will be Hunterdon County, wink-wink.

Where's Joe?

Hey all you budding paparazzi out there, it's time for a new game! Capt. Sleepy has already been caught on film so often in action (inaction?) that maybe a new subject would be in order. (See below post anyway!)

Your mission, should you accept it--Find Joe, get him on film and get that footage over here to the insider. Alas, you may have to hang out in Stirling (Morris County) to get him, but if you do accept the challenge, just beware of the influx of unstamped letters and Internet porn floating around in those parts!

To wit, this isn't a frivolous exercise aimed simply at getting another pretty face in the Rag, though Joe's manicured nails and neatly trimmed mustache could give many of our Page 6 girls a run for their money (not including of course Friday's featured honey, Katerina Kopsini, of Bucks County--do not line the bird cage with this one--definitely worth another look if its still hanging around! Yowza!)

I digress. The purpose of this mission is to find out not just where the director lives, but we'd like to know where exactly does he work? What are the city's taxpayers getting for that $100,000-plus salary and all those tanks of free gas.

If, as the director has noted, his family comes first, second and third in his life, and he needs to be with them at home in Stirling to protect them, we wonder how often he's actually down here protecting Trenton from evil.

One highly-placed police source said recently that many weeks, ol' Joe might only be in Trenton about four or five hours, YES HOURS, per week. Good work if you can get it. Now of course that source can't go public with that info, or for sure the director would spend quite a bit more than four or five hours deep in this informant's...you get the idea.

Now we know that even if the department, or the city administration were ever forced to admit this, they'd come back and say something to the effect of, "Well, you know, with today's technology, Joe can be in constant contact with every cop on the force. He's basically all-knowing, all-powerful, and we even hear he has one of those holographic communication devices like the emperor in the Star Wars movies uses, so he can pop up anywhere to check on things with a little (life-size?) holographic version of himself. But don't worry that was paid for with a federal homeland security grant, so that's being put to good use."

Back to Joe tracking.

Just this week, rumors are circulating that Joe called out sick on Thursday, then didn't show up for work Friday, while a CeaseFire program was being hosted in the city (See L.A. Parker's touching story on the event in Sunday's Trentonian). Top local, county and state law enforcement officials were on hand for the program, but ol' Joe was a no-show, presumably still feeling under the weather (so that's what was in his nose in that front page shot!) But later that same night, Joe was rumored to have showed up at a holiday party held at a Hamilton restaurant for the department's Fraternal Order of Police chapter. Glad this guy has is priorities straight.

See more on that discussion over at the Trenton Speaks forum.

But we thought it was the police unions who were behind this nasty campaign of pointing out that Joe's breaking city residency rules. Oh, it must be the other union, the PBA. You know the one with members? Wonder if he got his invite to the PBA's bash?

But again, I digress. So anyway, get out your digital cameras, your disposables, your camera phones, heck, your etch-a-sketches if you think you can get a decent likeness together, and get us some new some good shots of the skipper. Make sure you document time and place and maybe we can piece this puzzle together.

We know, we know crime is down, what difference does it make? Well just imagine what a Shangri La Trenton would be if this guy actually worked here, let alone moved the wife and kiddies in. Why, you could walk down any city street with a shirt made of $100 bills and never worry for a second.

Editor's note: Once this assignment is complete, next stop will be Hunterdon County, wink-wink.