If I was in any position close to a band at all, I'd write a tell-all book full of lies. Just stuffed full of 'em. Mostly about sex. 'Cause let's face it, that's what puts bookasses in bookseats.
Of course, the band would be in on the joke. I mean, that basically would be the joke: that the band was in on a massive prank about the kind of "tell all" nonsense memoirs that get published and benefit nobody but has-been jerkoffs looking to cash in on dried-up gravy trains.
See, my friend, let's call him "Larry," he's the sound engineer/guitar tech/rodie/occaisional bassist for a couple of fairly well known touring bands featuring approximately the same members, but no matter how I press him, I can't get him to convince the band members it would be a hilarious joke to write this thing.
I mean, obviously you'd do something meaningful with the profits of what would be an undoubtedly controversial book, like give the money to AIDS orphans in Africa or something, but just imagine the response to a shocking, tell-all, expose about a band and a gay love ... triangle! Oh! Geez, that'd kill in the sticks...
Can't you just see it? The VH1 interviews? The CNN buzz? And then about 20 years or so later, you hold a big "April Fools!" press conference.
Admit it - it'd be a pretty good prank. Andy Kaufman would be proud.
Which reminds me - when is that dude gonna come out of hiding?