I have to tell you all about my day. My appointment with my bank this afternoon went very badly. I tried to get a loan for my waiver transaction this week( $3) plus another loan for a pair of these stylish, new Sarah Palin eyeglasses that all the women are just crazy about ($2.99). I figured it would be a breeze, right? The loan department laughed at me. They said my $5.99 liquid request was over and above the new, tight federal guidelines. The bank said they would need my FFB team as collateral. They wanted me to prove I could pay them back. WHAAAAH? This was all new to me. Seriously, you actually have to pay them back?? For REAL?? They told me credit comes from the latin word 'credito', which means pay back. Surely they were kidding me right? 'Credito'? The bank was telling me about 'naked short selling abuses' that were closing in on them. I swear, I don't even know what that means...Are there actually naked brokers out there on Wall Street short selling without impunity? OH! BEHAVE!!
It's Saturday night now, I'm still not sure how I'm ever going to make a waiver move. The good thing is that it's all done electronically, so I won't even ever need to be responsible for paying off my $3 fee until next year's draft. I think I could actually pull this off. I could just go away after this season and never pay my debt ever. I could get a federal bail out. I could just declare waiver wire forclosure. That would really be smart, plus it's so trendy these days...

Just like my new, gorgeous Sarah Palin spectacles...($2.99)