Ed, I was just reading about the plane that went down in the Hudson River. It occurred to me, and it sounds so simple — why couldn’t they put a heavy metal, conical screen or grid over the front of the jet engine to deflect any geese that might get sucked in and clog the engine? I’m wondering.

Bright Idea

At 600 mph or so it’s not as simple as “deflecting” a goose. I think your screen would produce a nice pâté — gumming up the screen and reducing airflow. But BackTalk has a heavy readership among aeronautics engineers, so if your idea is worthwhile they’ll be testing it shortly in goose-infested wind tunnels. Sadly — and PETA won’t like this one — the only solution may be to exterminate all geese worldwide. Every lakeside property owner and golf course superintendent will get behind the effort. When they’re not bringing down planes, geese are leaving cumbersome slimy turds on every floating dock and putting green. Federal warning to geese: You’re cooked. —Ed. Note