Guns N' Roses are one of those bands that you either:
A: HATE.
B: Love AND hate. (Considering their name, not all that ironic)

And since Axl finally (FINALLY!) ponied up his 14 years-in-the-making magnum opus, Chinese Democracy, there's all kinds of love and hate beaming around the Scene & Heard offices this week. So what say we shine the ol' Top Five Tuesday light on the new album in proper Guns N' Roses fashion, shall we?

Top 5 reasons why Chinese Democracy sucks
5. Axl Rose.
4. As grandiose as this album tries to be, the long-standing jokes about the album are bigger. You're not buying an album anymore, you're buying a hyper-marketed piece of the pop culture mountain, which Dr. Pepper, Guitar Hero and Best Buy have been more than happy to fan the flames of.
3. Remember when you had your hopes so impossibly high for The Matrix sequels, and then were completely let down? Multiply that feeling times 743. Industrial Rock Axl=Flying Superman Neo.
2. This record would have blown the world away 10 years ago. Now it just blows.
1. Okay, it's not that bad of a record, but Axl... really? You spent 14 years on this? Sorry bucko, too much, too late.

Keeping that in mind, here's..
The Top 5 reasons why Chinese Democracy is a (dare I say) brilliant record.
5. Axl Rose.
4. Doing just fine without Slash & Straddlin, thank you very much.
3. The scathing title track is already banned in China. Now that's rock n' roll.
2. "If The World" is one of the sweetest songs I've ever heard. Industrial funk blues? Who knew Axl had that in him? The song alone is worth the album.
1. Listening to a Guns N' Roses album used to be like staring at the sun through sunglasses. Listening to this is like staring at the sun through a telescope.

You know what the trick is? Forget the love and hate. Pull yourself away from everything you think you know about this album. Forget how much money it cost to make, how long it took to make, how many jokes VH1 and Rolling Stone mag made about it over the years. Forget that it's "Chinese Democracy." Forget that it's a Guns N' Roses album, because it isn't. Just crank the volume up and let it be what it is.

It's a special record. Not because of it's pop culture significance, but because with it, Axl is attempting to do the same thing with heavy rock that Mozart did with classical music. Of course, Mozart was ridiculously and brilliantly prolific, while Rose spent 1/3 of Mozart's lifespan writing this grandiose record, so screw Axl. He's just a pompous metal head with a terrible dread job. (Like I said, folks. Love and hate.)