If you don't subscribe to GolTV, then you've probably never heard Ray Hudson speak. But even if you're not a soccer fan, I highly recommend catching a match commentated by Ray Hudson.
Hudson has a knack for spouting analogies that most people would cover with a nervous cough before sounding out the second syllable.
Case in point: "...tears the size of pineapple chunks."
Watch the video below for the full effect. My repetition does it no justice.
If you find yourself craving more, visit Hudsonia, a blog devoted to the ramblings of Ray Hudson.
Renowned Political Scholar to Visit Birthplace of Democracy
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, MFA, announced on the March 17 edition of the "Colbert Report" that he will be broadcasting live April 14-17 from the Annenberg Center for Performing Arts in Philadelphia -- a week before the Pennsylvania primary elections. (Recent pollspredict that Hillary Clinton will take Pennsylvania's 188 delegates with 52.7 percent of the vote; Obama is expected to get 35.7 of the vote.)
Tickets are probably gone by now, but it's worth checking to see if any are still available. (I have four, but you're not getting them without some serious plying.)
The site's creators describe it as the comic strip equivalent of You Tube. You can create characters and scenes from a variety of pre-drawn components. Adding dialogue is easy, too. The best part: It's free to use.
Bitstrips won a Web award at this week's nerd-swarmed South by Southwest Festival in Austin, Texas. (I'd gladly cover the festival next year if someone picks up the tab.)
Check back here for comics created by yours truly:
(Yes, this picture is drawn to scale. I can easily fit into most coat pockets.)
Fox and NBC have bypassed You Tube to give TV lovers what they want: Web-based, full-length programming that can be embedded in social networking site profiles and easily shared with friends.
When Hulu opens to the public on March 12, viewers will have access to streaming video of television shows and feature films produced by FOX, NBC, Sony Pictures, MGM and about 50 other media companies, according to the New York Times. The Times also reported that sports fans will be able to watch highlights from NBA and NHL games, as well full-length NCAA men's basketball games from the past 25 years.
Like traditional television, Hulu programming will be subsidized by advertisers. But Hulu CEO Jason Kilar told the Times his company will experiment with advertising models to limit distractions. In one model, the viewer will be able to watch a show without interruption after a 2-minute commercial.
ABC and CBS have resisted Hulu so far, preferring to reserve full-length show streams for their own Web sites.
Because the Internet allows marketers to trace consumers' Webprints, Hulu commercials will be more appealing to individual viewers than traditional TV ads. Whether the commercials will be any less annoying is another question.
Still, the networks will have a tough time keeping clips of their shows off of You Tube. If they order one user to take down the clips, others will upload more in protest. But that's hardly their biggest problem.
For Hulu to compete with You Tube it will have to feature user-generated mash-ups of multimedia content.
The Web 2.0 generation is not passive. Its members aren't content to watch videos. They want to interact with multimedia content. They want to play with context and add new layers of meaning through parody.
A good example of this is a recontextualized trailer for "The Shining." Watch the clip before reading on.
Did the music and voiceover change the way your mind processed the clip? Did the film feel more like a lighthearted, coming-of-age drama?
Open source editing software and You Tube allow Web users to play with the conventions of genre and give us a fresh perspective on even the most overplayed clips. Some of the best clips double as subtle social commentary.
There is plenty of mindless entertainment on You Tube, and much of it isn't very good. But You Tube is also a playground for the brilliant, a place where artists can redefine the ways we learn about the world and ourselves.
If the networks ignore this fact, they will fall behind the curve yet again.
Extreme Pete is one of the raddest skateboarders to hit the scene since Bob Burnquist. He hasn't perfected his aerial tricks or kick flips yet, but Pete is still an exciting athlete to watch.
It's a shame that Extreme Pete doesn't wear shoes. I would definitely rock his signature sneaks -- ever if he's a way better skater than me.
Want to look like a Gregorian monk (or Obi-Wan Kenobi) in the comfort of your Ikea display of a living room? If not, I pity you. If so, I urge you to consider the Slanket.
For the not-so-Walmart price of $44.95, you could one-up Linus by wearing your micro-fibrous source of security (and by sucking your thumb through its copious sleeves, if you -- gag-- so choose. )
(Picture: Peanuts.com)
The Slanket is 5 feet wide and nearly 8 feet long -- perfect for sliding down a flight of stairs to rekindle the simple joys in life that you've been trying to experience vicariously through children, TV and Nintendo Wii, but now realize that it's not working and you regret the trade-off you made so painfully long ago.
Other suggested uses for the Slanket:
1.) Hop on a co-workers's shoulders and ask passers-by to sign a petition to make the workplace more "giant Jedi accessible." (Oh, how I miss "Scrubs.")
2.) Line the Slanket with double-sided tape, line the double-side tape with plastic cutlery and walk through an upscale restaurant offering diners "imported kitchenware at a deep discount."
3.) Find the nearest carnival and see how many kids can ride your Slanket down a giant slide without subsequent injury.
Few things are funnier to me than the sight of Japanese adults face-planting as they race through an impossible obstacle course.
If you've never seen "Ninja Warrior," it's time to get acquainted.
Like many competitive reality shows, "Ninja Warrior" features laughably inept contestants in the first round and stunningly talented competitors in the later rounds. But "Ninja Warrior" is a far more sadomasochistic viewing experience than "American Idol." (To my knowledge, no contestant has been seriously injured.)
Simon Cowell's condescending quips have surely shattered hundreds of egos, but Idol contestants don't risk much more than embarrassment. "Ninja Warrior" contestants, on the other hand, run a gauntlet fraught with danger.
The obstacles test agility, strength and endurance well beyond any American athletic competition I've ever seen. Indeed, the "Ninja Warrior" course makes the "Eliminator" on "American Gladiators" look like a children's jungle gym.
If you're thinking the "Ninja Warrior" course can't possibly be that hard, then consider this: Even Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm couldn't make it to the final stage.
According to TV.com, less than 10 percent of contestants have made it past the first stage, and only two contestants -- Kazuhiko Akiyama and Makoto Nagano -- have completed all four stages.
Both men devoted their bodies and years of their lives to the competition. They even built replicas of some of the obstacles to practice on between tournaments. But they only completed the course once each -- most likely because the obstacles are modified after each tournament, making the next even tougher.
"Ninja Warrior" airs a few times a day on the G4 television network. Check your local listings. Podcasts of the show are available for download on the G4 Web site.
For a "Ninja Warrior" primer check out the clips posted below. I guess I should warn you not to try this at home. But if you decide to ignore my advice, I'll gladly post your video.
