Faux News: The Parade of Ignorance

Comic
by luvnews

DEFINING SELL OUT – SEE JOHN McCAIN

Today, the Senate brought the Intelligence Authorization Bill to the floor, which contained a provision from Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) establishing one interrogation standard across the government. The bill requires the intelligence community to abide by the same standards as articulated in the Army Field Manual and bans waterboarding.

Just hours ago, the Senate voted in favor of the bill, 51-45.

Earlier today, ThinkProgress noted that Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), a former prisoner of war, has spoken strongly in favor of implementing the Army Field Manual standard. When confronted today with the decision of whether to stick with his conscience or cave to the right wing, McCain chose to ditch his principles and instead vote to preserve waterboarding:

Mr. McCain, a former prisoner of war, has consistently voiced opposition to waterboarding and other methods that critics say is a form torture. But the Republicans, confident of a White House veto, did not mount the challenge. Mr. McCain voted “no” on Wednesday afternoon.

From maverick to minion John McCain is roaming the country in the "BS" Express.

As John McCain was a former POW, I have NO respect for someone who has experienced the hell someone faces of being tortured and then votes in favor of torturing other prisoners of war .

I guess your morals and values went out the door when you decided to run for president. Don't give me any lines about keeping us safe from terror either because that line is almost as old as you are John.

The people of this country are being stripped daily of our civil rights in the name of "preventing" terrorists from attacking us again but at what point does the government become as ruthless as the people they are "protecting" us from.

Hey Johnny boy, do everyone a favor and give up on using your story about being in a Vietnamese torture camp to win people over. Your voting in favor of water boarding only validates you being tortuted in Vietnam. Sorry McFly but torture is torture.

By the way McFly nobody is buying your overnight transformation into a mainstream conservative and if they are I can probably sell them some beachfront property in Las Vegas.

ARE YOU LYING...ROGER THAT!

It is great watching Roger Clemens squirm as he is being grilled during the congressional witch-hunt about steriod use in baseball.

Right now Clemens has two strikes against him. Both Andy Pettite and Chuck Knoblauch, both former Yankees, have confirmed the story of Brian McNamee.

Roger Clemens struggled to find the right words under questioning during a congressional hearing Wednesday and denied new accounts of drug use made against him by former teammate and close friend Andy Pettitte.

Using words like “misremembered” and mispronouncing the last name of his chief accuser, Brian McNamee, Clemens rambled and stumbled during his early remarks on Capitol Hill.

Clemens’ reputation and legacy were on the line, and there was the possibility that criminal charges could follow after the seven-time Cy Young winner testified.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HURT ME?

It appears as if the honeymoon is officially over after the Mitchell reporter exposes all the dirty little secrets behind the relationship of Andy Pettite and Roger Clemens. The two men who pitched together and possibly injected together, as they were Yankees turned Astros and then Yankees again, now have their reputations tarnished by allegations of using performance enhancing drugs. Where one went the other one followed and it seemed as if these two were an inseparable pair but it makes you wonder how much of a strain on their relationship the Mitchell report will have.

Roger Clemens will be confronted with a new and damaging affidavit from Andy Pettitte when he appears before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform on Wednesday to testify about allegations that he used performance-enhancing drugs, two lawyers familiar with the matter said late Tuesday.

Clemens made final preparations Tuesday to testify that he never took performance-enhancing drugs.

Clemens will also be asked about corroborating information that committee staff members developed on their own that ties Clemens to such drugs, the lawyers said. That information, they said, stands separate and apart from the assertions made about Clemens by his former personal trainer, Brian McNamee, who contends that he injected Clemens with steroids and human growth hormone from 1998 to 2001.

The two lawyers familiar with what may be confronting Clemens at the hearing spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly. They would not reveal details of the new Pettitte affidavit or of the new information obtained apart from McNamee’s assertions.

“The committee is not messing around and has other damaging evidence against Roger,” one of the lawyers said.

The other lawyer said, “Andy said enough to really hurt Roger.”

More Proof Fox News Sucks!

How bad is Faux News you ask, well let's ask the front running Democrats in the Presidential race Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and.......uhhh, wait, I'm sorry, that can't be right... John McCain.



Woops, that must have been a simple typo.



Wait a minute it happened again.
Maybe Senator Lamar Alexander needs to update his website. He seems to be listed all over it as a member of the Republican party.

Oh no....it seems to have happened again!



Wow Senator Sheldon Whitehouse is a registered Democrat and former US Senator Lincoln Chafee is a registered Republican.



And again! Mark Foley....you guessed it. Not a Democrat. Yep, a registered Republican.



And again with Mark Foley not listed on-screen as a Republican but as a Democrat.



And oddly enough, Mark Foley, is still not a Republican...again!

I guess I should be screaming "Don't Fox on me" at this point but would you expect higher standards from a "news" organization that puts the likes of real American heroes on the air like: Mark Fuhrman (SEE O.J. TRIAL), Oliver North (SEE IRAN-CONTRA AFFAIR) and Karl Rove (SEE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION FOR LIST OF SCANDALS).

The only TV these scum bags should be on is America's Most Wanted.

Here's Looking Out For You!

Is anyone still in denial that insurance companies are ruining the state of healthcare in the United States. Maybe this will help you retool your thinking about how much your insurance company is really looking out for what's in your "best" interests.

The state's largest for-profit health insurer is asking California physicians to look for conditions it can use to cancel their new patients' medical coverage.

Blue Cross of California is sending physicians copies of health insurance applications filled out by new patients, along with a letter advising them that the company has a right to drop members who fail to disclose "material medical history," including "pre-existing pregnancies."

"Any condition not listed on the application that is discovered to be pre-existing should be reported to Blue Cross immediately," the letters say. The Times obtained a copy of a letter that was aimed at physicians in large medical groups.
The letter wasn't going down well with physicians.

"We're outraged that they are asking doctors to violate the sacred trust of patients to rat them out for medical information that patients would expect their doctors to handle with the utmost secrecy and confidentiality," said Dr. Richard Frankenstein, president of the California Medical Assn.

Patients "will stop telling their doctors anything they think might be a problem for their insurance and they don't think matters for their current health situation," he said. "But they didn't go to medical school, and there are all kinds of obscure things that could be very helpful to a doctor."

WellPoint Inc., the Indianapolis-based company that operates Blue Cross of California, said Monday that it was sending out the letters in an effort to hold down costs.

SHOCKER...an insurance provider looking to screw over it's clients.

It is so refreshing to hear that WellPoint Inc. is only trying to hold down costs.

So if you are covered under their plan it will make you all feel better if you are hospitalized and after your stay you receive a bill that will take you a lifetime to pay off because your claim was denied, but hey look at the bright side....they are helping to keep costs down.

Any wonder how Humana Health Insurance made record profits last year, anyone...ok let me break it down really simple....increased insurance premiums, followed up with decreased coverage amounts and increased denial of claims = RECORD PROFITS!!!!

Let's take the power out of the bean counters hands at the insurance companies and put it back in the doctor's hands. I really am uneasy about an accountant telling my doctor what is in my "best" interest.

Click here to read letter from BlueCross

CRY LITTLE BABY....CRY!

Faux News Anchor Shepard Smith has an on-camera meltdown when the credibility of his uncredible "news" organization was challenged.

Hey Shep, reality check time...it's no secret that their is no "fair & balanced" (opinion-based) reporting on your station.

"Don't you Fox on me," anchor Shepard Smith snapped at a guest after what seemed a fairly innocuous barb about Fox News fired him up.

Afternoon anchor Smith briefly lost his cool Wednesday during an interview with Naomi Wolf, author of The End of America. A Republican talking head also appeared on Smith's show.

Wolf observed that Democrats didn't have to "hold our nose and walk into the [voting] booth," and as she tried to finish her answer Smith jumped in.

"So you were holding your nose walking into the booth with John Kerry, the last time? You were holding your nose walking into the booth with Bill Clinton?" he asked, as GOP strategist Kellyanne Conway laughed in the background. "When was the nose-holding exactly, if you could pin it down for me?"

Wolf began to explain, without explicitly bad-mouthing Clinton or Kerry, and Smith returned to the subject at hand. "You said, the nose-holding; I just want to know when the nose-holding was."

"This is why I love Fox News," Wolf said sarcastically.

That, apparently was too much for Smith.

"No, no, no. That is unfair. You said it, I didn’t say it! You said you were holding your nose when you went in the booth, and I asked you when," Smith said, wagging his finger at the camera. "That’s fair. And anybody who doesn’t ask you that is not being fair. I’d like an answer please. You did it. Don’t you ‘Fox’ on me. Ever."



Wolf explained that she was glad about the historic prospects in this election, where for the first time the Democratic nominee will be a woman or a black man.

Later in the program, Smith apologized for his outburst.

"I want to apologize to you for pointing my finger at you. I just get tired of people like you saying every time you're challenged on something that you say that it's something about Fox," he said. "It's not something about Fox. I don't have a horse in this race and for you to suggest such a thing is both inaccurate and insulting."

Here is more proof that working for Fax News requires that a person must be completely subservient and have an I.Q. of 30. Shep proves what a freaking putz he is with such completely ridiculous statements. And then to cry little a little girl over his beloved Faux News. This just proves how awful of a "news" organization that Faux News is and will always be.
By the way Shep, not that it is any real secret to anyone with half a brain, but would you clarify your statement on "Don't ever Fox on me!"
That sums it all up!

SPIES LIKE THEM!

I just wanted to let our friends at the CIA know this blog is terrorist free!

With rapidly advancing technology spreading across the globe, US spies are shifting their focus from surreptitiously photographing secret Soviet documents to trolling the Internet for what could be the next key nugget of foreign intelligence.

Among the most valuable sources, one top spook says, are blogs, MySpace and other Web 2.0 hallmarks.

"We're looking now at YouTube, which carries some unique and honest-to-goodness intelligence," Doug Naquin, director of the CIA's Open Source Center said in a recent speech to CIA retirees.

The speech was posted this week on SecrecyNews, the blog of the Federation of American Scientists Project on Government Secrecy.

McCarthyism is back and instead of a witch-hunt looking for Communists we are on a witch-hunt for Terrorists.

Isn't it odd how history is repeating itself again.

TO TORTURE OR NOT TO TORTURE, THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Let's start of by looking at a few definitions.

TORTURE – the act of inflicting excruciating pain, as punishment or revenge, as a means of act of inflicting excruciating pain, as punishment or revenge, as a means of getting a confession or information, or for sheer cruelty.

Now let's define:

WATER BOARDING – a form of torture that consists of immobilizing a person on his or her back, with the head inclined downward, and pouring water over the face and into the breathing passages. Through forced suffocation and inhalation of water, the subject experiences the process of drowning in a controlled environment and is made to believe that death is imminent.

Now that we have those items defined, lets ask the President what he thinks about the U.S., torturing prisoners of war, excuse me I meant to call them "detainees".

President Bush strongly defended U.S. interrogation practices for detainees held in the war on terrorism Monday, insisting, We do not torture."

Thank you Mr. President for clarifying that issue. I know that the United States would follow the guidelines of the Geneva convention when it comes to the ethical treatment of prisoners of war, excuse me again, I meant to call them "detainees".

Oh I'm sorry Mr. Cheney you had something to add to what the President was saying.

The Bush administration has proposed exempting employees of the Central Intelligence Agency from a legislative measure endorsed earlier this month by 90 members of the Senate that would bar cruel and degrading treatment of any prisoners in U.S. custody.

The proposal, which two sources said Vice President Cheney handed last Thursday to Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) in the company of CIA Director Porter J. Goss, states that the measure barring inhumane treatment shall not apply to counterterrorism operations conducted abroad or to operations conducted by "an element of the United States government" other than the Defense Department.

Now I am confused...according to the President we don't torture but the Vice-President wants exemptions for members of the CIA.

Wait a minute, I am sorry it looks like CIA director Michael Hayden would like to chime in.

The CIA has for the first time publicly admitted using the controversial method of "waterboarding" on terror suspects.

CIA head Michael Hayden told Congress it had only been used on three people, and not for the past five years.

He said the technique had been used on high-profile al-Qaeda detainees including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

Waterboarding, condemned as torture by rights groups and many governments, is an interrogation method that puts the the detainee in fear of drowning.

Wait this can't be. We are the United States...we are a super power, spreading democracy, liberating Iraqis and setting a great example for others.

DICK you wanted to chime in again on the use of torture.

Cheney said that he supported President Bush's national security decisions, which included the approval of waterboarding along with other harsh interrogation tactics. "I've been proud to stand by [Bush], by the decisions he's made," said Cheney, who then asked aloud, "Would I support those decisions today?"

"You're damn right I would," he answered.

Finally we will go to CIA Director Michael Hayden one more time for some clarity on this issue.

Mr. Hayden what are your thoughts on torturing prisoners of war (oops…again I meant to call them by their politically correct name "detainees") using the technique that was banned by the CIA known as water boarding

Waterboarding is necessary though probably not legal, CIA Director Michael Hayden told Congress Thursday as Attorney General Michael Mukasey said he would not open a criminal investigation into the CIA's use of the technique.

Strapping a person to a surface, covering their face with cloth and pouring water on their face to imitate the sensation of drowning could be used if "an unlawful combatant is possessing information that would help us prevent catastrophic loss of life of Americans or their allies," said Hayden.

"In my own view, the view of my lawyers and the Department of Justice, it is not certain that that technique would be considered lawful under current statute," he told the House Intelligence Committee after publicly disclosing that the CIA had used waterboarding on three of the enemy combatants.

Well now that I am officially confused and my brain feels like it is going to explode I can summarize by saying that Yes the United States has tortured using water boarding and supposedly the CIA has banned it but would like to use it even though it may be illegal. Also our President who says the U.S. does not torture, authorized the use of torture according to the V.P. And the V.P. wants exemptions for those who do torture.

So there you have it. Draw your own conclusions from it and just be thankful you aren't in Gitmo!

HUCKABEE'S NEW AD CAMPAIGN

In learning today that he was the last person standing in John McCain's way to officially winning the GOP nomination, Mike Huckabee has decided to bring out the big guns in his dramatic reenactment of Custer's Last Stand!

Here's hoping it works Mike, otherwise I think that Huck-A-Mania may have lost its steam.

MITT-WIT QUITS!

In a really surprising move (not really) Mitt Romney has decided to suspend his campaign for the White House (even though in reality he had NO shot).

Mitt decided to take the high road in his concession speech and tried making it seem as his stepping down was doing his party a favor. Ha Ha!!! Which is a laughable point!

Romney said in his concession speech, "If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror."

Oh Mitt, you for one didn't have a shot and it is a shame it has taken you this long to realize that simple fact. Secondly, you act as if the current administration has done such a spectacular job on the war on terror just shows how completely out of it you really must be.

See ya Mitters!

REV. TEDDY UPDATE!!!

Hey folks remember Ted Haggard?

Well, if not, he is the former spiritual advisor to President Bush who claims to not be gay or a methamphetamine user but was removed from his position as leader of the National Association of Evangelicals after allegations of homosexual sex and drug abuse were made by Mike Jones, a former prostitute. (Ironic...don't you think?)

Oh…you mean that Rev. Ted Haggard! Now I remember.

Well for those of you who have been waiting with bated breath for an update on the health and well-being of Reverened Teddy...here's your scoop!

Colorado Springs Gazette:

New Life Church said Tuesday that former pastor Ted Haggard has prematurely ended a “spiritual restoration” process begun when he was fired for sexual misconduct.

Haggard was fired from New Life Church and resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals in November 2006 after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine.

Haggard confessed to undisclosed “sexual immorality” and said he bought meth but didn’t use it.

New Life said in a written statement that “the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and (New Life) maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry.”

Uh Oh Teddy looks like your stint in "Spiritual" rehab didn't quite work out that well for you. The process of restoring you Ted was incomplete. Looks like someone just can't shake those "tendancies".

Maybe you can set up a support group with Mark Foley and Larry Craig and the three of you can work out your "issues".

*WINK *WINK

I ask all my visitors to please bookmark and spread the word on my blog. Also I encourage everyone to leave comments.

ANOTHER WINNER IN THE GAME OF LIFE!

Now this is a great story. After reading this story you will see what takes top priority when you are living trailer fabulous!

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (AP) — A woman pulled over for allegedly running a red light had a 24-pack of beer strapped in with a seat belt but had a 16-month-old girl unrestrained in the back seat of her car with the toddler's mother, authorities said.

Tina D. Williams, 46, was arrested Sunday after she was pulled over in St. Augustine. She was charged with driving under the influence, child abuse, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving without a valid license, a jail official said. Williams remained in the St. Johns County jail Tuesday after bail was set at $31,000. The jail did not have the name of her attorney.

A 24-pack of Busch beer was strapped in the passenger-side seat belt, according to an arrest report.

This is a fine example of what Redneck living is all about! Strap in the beer we're heading home.

The most disturbing fact is that she felt the need to strap in a 24-pack of Busch. Talk about some crappy beer.

That's Mr. S Face To You!

BUFFALO, N.Y. - A collection agency tried to collect a $16.96 debt with an letter that addressed its recipient with a four-letter word for excrement. "Dear S---," began the letter, attempting to collect from an old record club membership. The word was spelled out in the letter, which arrived in an envelope addressed to "S--- Face."

"I've never seen anything quite so brazen," said attorney Kenneth Hiller.

He said his client plans to sue Nationwide Collections Inc. of Fort Pierce, Florida, next week.

Under U.S. law, debt collectors are not allowed to use profanity to collect a debt, Hiller said, nor are they supposed to threaten legal action over such a small amount.

Nationwide President Phillip McGarvey said the October 2007 letter was automatically generated after his company bought about 350,000 Columbia House accounts. "S--- Face" is the name under which the account was opened and the way the coupon to start the club was filled out, he said.

This story is freaking hilarious! Is that a show of the times when a collection agency is sending out collections notices addressed to Mr. S Face over $16.96. I wish I could get a letter from a collection agency to me addressed that way. I knew there was a downside to paying my bills on time.
The even funnier part is that the company never questioned the fact that they had an account for S Face? Nobody found that a little odd when authorizing this account. Then again predatory lending practices are one of the major reasons for our economic woes right now. Good job Nationwide Collections! Keep up the good work.

Not So…SUPER BOWL!

What a shootout that game turned out not to be. Yawn! I couldn't figure out what was worse: the second, third and 3/4 of the fourth quarters or the commercials. What an awful game that was to watch. There were times in the game where I had to pry my eyes open with a crow bar. That was almost as bad as watching the Seahawks-Steelers Super Bowl from a few years ago. 7-3 for 3/4 of the game with nothing happening.

I sit here and think that one play determined the outcome of the game. And no I am not talking about the sack Eli squirmed out of and then completed the pass downfield to David Tyree. I am talking about New Englands decision to go for it on fourth down rather than kicking the field goal. Had they kicked that one field goal then the touchdown pass to Burress would have only sent the game into O.T. So once again the Giants didn't win as much as the Patriots blew it.

Being an Eagles fan it pains me ever more to see the Giants walk off the field with the Lombardi trophy. UHHHH!!! And worse than that was seeing "Little Eric Lindros" Eli Manning winning a Super Bowl. Let's not forget the draft day antics of one Eli Manning as he boo-hoo'ed that he didn't want to play for the Chargers. WAAAAAHHH!!!! Eli, revel in the fact that the Eagles passed on Plaxico as a free agent (another showing of Andy Reid's inability to pick up a decent receiver). Now I have to listen to Giants fans gloat about winning the Super Bowl. This also means that in the past 20 years every current team in the NFC East has won the Super Bowl minus the Eagles.

Well now the season is officially over and I can now focus my attention on all the pitching moves that the Phillies have yet to make as the Mets bolster their lineup with a Cy Young Award winner in Johan Santana.

How long until pitcher and cathers report? Let's Go Phillies!!!

I almost forgot, congrats Charlie! As an Giants-Eagles fan you must be proud. And yes I am eating crow at this point. I didn't and still won't give Eli enough credit!