Friday, April 24, 2009

The irresistable force paradox!

Though there are many, one of the most memorable lines from last summer's The Dark Knight is "this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object."

It's such a great line and was perfectly used in the context of the movie. But recently, I've heard it pop up in a number of other places from the past too.

First, I heard it in a Wrestlemania clip, when the announcer referred to the Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant match as the same thing. "This is the unstoppable force versus the immovable object!" or something to that length.

And then, I was listening to Pulp's classic This Is Hardcore album yesterday and the song "Seductive Barry" included this (hilarious) verse:

I've wanted you for years. I only needed the balls to admit it. When the unbelievable object meets the unstoppable force, there's nothing you can do about it.

I guess the unstoppable force here is, oh you know, lust. And the unbelievable object would be some vivacious lady. But it works to the same effect.

And a quick search around the internets would indicate that this line has been used as a tease riddle for quite some time. "What happens when an unstoppable object meets an unstoppable force?" Turns out this hypothetical phenomenon is called the "irresistable force paradox.

So now I must wonder... where did the Nolan brothers (who wrote the Dark Knight) crib that line from? Are they Hulkamania fans? Pulp fans? Did they come across it as a riddle in a newspaper in 1980s? Physics class?

Or perhaps, the better question is what DOES happen when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Do they shake hands? Does unstoppable buy immovable a beer? A cranberry juice? Does unstoppable bodyslam immovable to the mat and drop the atomic big leg on his big hairy chest? Does he string him up and let the police cart him off to Arkham Asylum? Does the universe collapse on itself? Do elephants fly? Do I suddenly become well-paid and really cool?

It's a question that raises countless more questions, but I think pop culture has taught us that unstoppable force often is the victor.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I do not apologize, YOU'RE the one who got rick-roll'd

If you sent me a death threat email over the past week, I admit, I deserved it (oh yes, I did receive a few). Perhaps I struck a nerve?

Sure, that last post was pretty low. But I found it while digging around YouTube and it was absolutely too irresistible. As soon as I saw it, I knew what I had to do, and you know you would have done the same to me. But the real reason I posted that is because I cannot load up any entertainment buzz blog or site these days without reading about all these people bugging Christopher Nolan and everyone else associated with the Batman franchise about the next movie. That's expected, I'm anxious too. But these things take time, and the people of the franchise keep asking us hawks to just give them some time. So, maybe we should just let it be. If you don't more rick-rolling will ensue, and nobody will be safe.

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Breaking: Batman 3 Trailer!!!!

Since The Dark Knight slapped up on the Silver Screen, there has been one thing the people have wanted.

The next Batman movie.

That's right; let's forget that it should feasibly take another 2 years--maybe 3--before anyone could respectfully write, film, produce and release another ridiculously high-caliber Batman movie to follow up. Forget how mind-explodingly good The Dark Knight was, let's get to the next movie already! Who will the villains be!? OMG!

This is all any self-respecting entertainment journalist with a microphone, keyboard, and/or mouth has asked of anyone within a 100 mile radius of anyone involved with the monstrously revamped Batman movie franchise. (What would YOU ask Christopher Nolan if you had him for 26 seconds and tape recorder??? Ed. Note: please no lewd comments) And all those people told all those entertainment journalists: (to paraphrase) There is no new Batman movie currently in the works. Please just let us digest having finished The Dark Knight before we even start thinking about what's next for the caped crusader.

Looks like the joke (hope you pun fans are keeping score; I just chalked up a fat one there) is on us. This newly released trailer from Warner Brothers reveals that Christopher Nolan's third installment in the Batman series is not only underway, but well on it's way to hit theaters this summer. And let me tell you; if you thought Ledger's Joker was phenomenal--then hold on to your butts. Who's the villain you say? Well riddle me this, riddle me that, Harvey Dent's back with a big black cat.


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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Scene & Heard Xmas Wish List

Don't know what to get your entertainment junky (see also: nerd) for Christmas? Well, take a load off pal, you've come to the right place. I present to you the 2008 Scene & Heard Wish List. Although, keep checking back here this month for our year end lists of music, movies, and etc, which will all make great stocking stuffers too.

5. Death Cab For Cutie Holiday Package
If your little music fan (or big music fan, we don't discriminate) just got into Death Cab after this year's brilliant "Narrow Stairs," they're missing out on a whole lotta good warm-hearted indie rock. This package includes all 7 releases the band put out on Barsuk, before stepping up to a major label. Does not include "Plans" or "Narrow Stairs," but is a golden deal for Death Cab beginners.

4. The Limited Edition Beatles iPod Box Set
Want to go overboard? Sure you do. I see that look in your eyes. Show the economy that you don't need to cut back! Nothing says overboard like this baby, which you can only get from Bloomingdales for the special low price of $795 (or on eBay for a lot lot more). It's all here, the treasure trove. You get all the apples--Apple's classic iPod with a Beatles logo and 120gb of storage, and all the CD's from the Apple label's discography (including "Love"). And you get a guitar pick too, for some reason. All tidied up in a sleek wooden box. Plus, there is only 2500 copies in existence. Owning one makes you super special! In all seriousness, it's the coolest box set and iPod you'll find, but only for the biggest Beatlemaniacs. Now's also a good time to mention that The Beatles remain one of the last remaining bands not available on iTunes, though it's apparently going to happen some day. But not bad, right?

3. Of course, you could just shell out for a regular ol' iPod or iPhone, which I promise won't upset any person willing to live amongst the technology of the 21st century. Always a safe bet.

2. The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray
The biggest, boldest, movie of the year that crossed over from comic books into the mainstream this year in a huge way. And yes, it MUST be on Blu-Ray, not DVD, because it's the best looking movie ever, and the action scenes are all shot in hi-def. Since it hits stores on Dec 9, there are going to be a lot of Bat fans looking for this under the tree. Do. Not. Disappoint. Them. (Yes, that is a threat.) There's also a special edition available that comes with a statuette Batpod, but...that could be a bit overboard.

1. DIY mix
That's right, the way to really impress them is to do it yourself. And you know what? You spend a nickel on a CD-R (or cassette if you really want to impress them). That's it! Just put some excellent music together and they'll love you forever. Because they'll know you care, and that you put the time in. Of course, mixmaking is quite an artform, so be careful of what you're getting yourself into and be wise and selective in your song choices. Don't think you got what it takes? That's ok, you can bake them some warm cookies. That works too.

And just for fun...
Let's go old school and bring back the full-on pajamas look. www.thecatspjs.com. May I recommend the crossword puzzle pjs?

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Scene & Heard Mixtape: You Are The Dark

Ack!! Writing that last 'review' of The Dark Knight took a lot out of me. But I beg you to argue a film that dense doesn't deserve such a meaty manifesto! And may God bless those who actually read through the whole thing without breaking a sweat, or needing a potty break. But before I move on, can I please just post this image again? One more time? Please?!

There, NOW, I'm fully recovered.

..... and TOTALLY NOT DONE WITH THE DARK KNIGHT!

That's right. I'm back with more Dark Knight, but it's a mix for ya this time, themed after the movie... Well, sorta. I know the buzz is wearing off by now, but this mix features lots of little golden nuggets, so don't miss out on some greats for being so judgemental! This mix hardly riffs on the same 'serious' note as the movie did. Seriously! You HAVE to be a little off your bolts to put Coldplay's "God Put A Smile On My Face" in a mix about a movie like The Dark Knight, but just think about it for a moment... electing to put that song into this mix, kinda puts me in the 'genius' category on wikipedia. Let me know what ya think.

C'mon, MIX ME!

1. Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning Is The End is The Beginning
2. Flaming Lips - Batman theme
3. Wolfmother - Joker & The Thief
4. Coldplay - God Put A Smile On My Face (live bootleg, Houston, TX, 1/28/2003)
5. Johnny Cash - Man In Black
6. Sex Pistols - Problems
7. Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard - Why So Serious (score from The Dark Knight)
8. Thom Yorke - Black Swan
9. Elliott Smith - Black Bird (Beatles cover, live bootleg from The Steamboat, 5/3/2003)
10. Joseph Arthur - You Are The Dark (Live from The Living Room, NYC)


And if you're remotely curious why that Sex Pistols song ended up in there, allow me to remind you of the lyrics, and bare in mind Ledger's Joker.

Now I think I finally have The Dark Knight out of my system, so, if you got sick of that little era of mine, there are new and wonderful things ahead! Really!

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

OUR DARKEST HOUR: A very serious look at The Dark Knight, and us

by Chris March


What is it about The Dark Knight that has swept the globe up in such a frenetic stir?

You might coin it the "Titanic" of comic book movies. You might tally it up in the record books as the first summer blockbuster to fire on all eight cylinders in a long, long time. You might call it Heath Ledger's brightest (or darkest, if you wish to be literal) hour. You might even call it a bluff of brilliantly orchestrated marketing.

But you know it goes deeper than that. Director Christopher Nolan and his gang have gouged open some deeper wound; woken up some slumbering slobber monster. You need more than a good movie with good actors and good marketing to become such a nuclear bomb. So perhaps to find the answer to "what is it about The Dark Knight," we need to take a look at ourselves before we start talking Oscar nominations, box office records and sequels.

(Oh, and if you're tired of hearing people gush over this movie, or haven't seen it yet and don't want to stumble over any light spoilers, you probably should stop reading. Like, now.)

The Dark Knight. Such could not be a more fitting title. Structurally speaking, yes, it is long, and it is dark. And with every twist, turn and parry through the movie (over 2 and a half hours worth), the film blooms into something too ripe and frightening to take as just a snap of the fingers for entertainment sake. This ain't Spiderman 4, folks. It's a cinematic thunderclap, and it’s made to shake your whole world up.


Nolan has made a few decent films in the past, but never before has he woven such a poem. It flickers and shines, like giving birth to a star in the middle of the darkest reach of outer space. And that's certainly what this movie is. Every shade of light, every script line, every gesture, grimace, smile, and kaboom is part of some sublime equation coercing into this new wild zeitgeist of life in 2008. Even surrounded by such madness, death, and loss (tragically, on screen and off), The Dark Knight is as alive as big screen cinema can get.


While highly entertaining, it's rather uneasy and will likely saw the ends of your nerves off. Referencing the title again, it’s the story’s unseen corners which make it so rattling. Nolan never shows what fills the Joker with such unhinged chaos. You don't see what Rachael Dawes doesn't see in Bruce Wayne. You don't see why Batman refuses to kill The Joker when you think he deserves it. You don't see why justice has to fight 10 times harder than chance does. You don't see why you fall in love with the bad guys, or why the characters you fall in love with have to die. You never see the speeding trains railing towards you, oh, but you hear them coming, like nails on a chalkboard. And that’s how tense you will feel the whole movie through.

The movie is about crooked love crashing around terrible bends. And about politics running full-sprint through a marathon with broken legs. It's the sun and the moon eclipsing, together, and you can't help but look directly into its dark burning center and see for yourself that we all have two sides to us. The light. And the dark.

And that's the beauty of it.


“This is what happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object,” The Joker tells Batman while hanging upside down from a skyscraper.

Truthfully, the movie isn’t about Batman at all. Not really. It’s about us; the world’s superpowers, the world’s outcasts, the vengeful and the avengers. All crusading to stay alive while killing our demons at the same time. And how it’s uglied and scarred the best of us, changed us and criminalized us, made us dark and cornered.


We’ve all become two-faced, equals parts Joker and Batman in one way or another. A comedy and a tragedy. Or maybe that’s just how brilliantly Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, and Christian Bale played their characters respectively, but still…


No words ring louder from the film than Harvey Dent’s press conference. “The night is darkest just before the dawn. But I promise you… The dawn is coming.”


With hospitals blowing up and rescue workers fighting to save every life they can, you can’t help but think about all the wrinkles of now. And the chain reaction of everything that has happened since September 11, 2001. Terror threats, eroded freedoms, war, murder, death, global warming, fear, Paris Hilton, the fall of Britney Spears, super hero movies pwning box office records, declining economy…and the list stretches on.


You can't help from thinking about our government when Batman unveils his new ultimate spying device to Lucius Fox. "I must find The Joker," he scowls, like a hungry wolf. But even at the cost of Gotham's liberty and freedom? In a flash of light, you suddenly see very little separates super heroes from George W. Bush and government policies. Clearly, there is more of us in The Dark Knight's Gotham City than back issues of DC Comics.



We need air. We need light. It’s been so dark for so long now. Hope has all but become a flicker in many parts of the globe. Truth has become a question, not a statement. And where have all the cowboys gone?


But when Dent says the dawn is coming, something eclipses inside of me. It’s not a goofy line in a silly comic book movie. It’s convincing foreshadowing. In real life. In 2008. In America. In Pennsylvania. In Pottstown, Douglassville, Birdsboro, Reading, Philly, wherever I may roam. At that moment, I truly believe in Harvey Dent.


After she saw The Dark Knight, my mom said how depressing of a movie it was. “Too much death.” But I see it differently. That’s what the night is about. It dies every day when the sun breaks through the dawn. Though it’s uneasy and dark, The Dark Knight is the greatest glimmer of hope we’ve gotten for the future in a long time. The night is just a reminder that we’re alive. The light will always be coming back around, no matter how dark it gets.


And it’s hard not to get caught up in the current of hope that seems to be rebuilding an empire right now. Take the most obvious example, Barack Obama. “Change we can believe in.” Whether you like the dude for president or not, you cannot deny that his campaign has stirred up some new wild hope in the people he’s reached.


I can't believe I haven't seen anyone do this on the internets yet.


And as for the movie, when was the last time so many far-reaching people got together behind one common event. Certainly all these people are more than comic nuts. The 21st century has been all about individualism and struggling to find new ways to define your freedom. For an overwhelming majority of people to be behind this movie says something about us. It says we can still be together, think together, share with one another. It’s been a long time since something like that has happened.


Perhaps we’re ready to rebuild our crumbling castle. We’re ready to believe in each other again. Could it be we are standing at the silver lining of a new golden era?


About death? Ha! Sorry mom, and anyone else who felt that way about The Dark Knight, but it's about coming back to life.


Don’t believe me? Watch the scene again where everything comes to full fruition, when The Joker’s unstoppable force hits Gotham City’s immovable object. Not Batman, but the crowds of scared citizens and crooks held for explosive ransom on their own respective tankers on the river. They turn the Joker’s orchestrated fear away, instead of on each other as so many of us have for a long time now. The tide, it feels, is turning.


“These people just showed you they are ready to believe in good.”


So am I, Batman. So am I.



Oh, and want to know how I got these scars?

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Dark Knight, Black Friday!


Am I seriously the only person in the long rolling hills of medialand to call today "Black Friday?"

To promote the release of Dark Knight in today's paper, I slopped together the promo image above which you should see around area grocery stores and gas stations. And reporter Brandie Kessler and I put together today's story on last night's midnight showings.

I mean what with all these going-ons and nerdy dudes apparently skipping out of work to see the highly anticipated return of Batman to the big screen today, I thought Black Friday would be a SHOE-IN name for anyone to use. But alas, here I am, marketing The Mercury instead of The Dark Knight.

C'mon!

In any case, anyone see it yet? Whatcha think?

Do you got the cahonies to say a bad word about it, because hardly anyone has. And those who have have been swiftly reprimanded by the films savagely rabid fans.

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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

All The Jokers, All The Batmans

Or is it Batmen? Plurals in super hero world are never easy.

Anyway, continuing our look at the many incarnations of Gotham's Darkest Knight through the decades, let's take a look at just how timeless a Batman flick The Dark Knight is with the below vids. (or atleast, how timeless the trailer is).

Each of the following trailers are streaming goodness of the many incarnations the Joker and Mr Wayne have gone through thru the years, but dubbed over with their Dark Knight voices. Which one wins?

The Dark Knight, 1989 style



The Dark Knight, 1966 style (my personal favorite)



The Dark Knight, 2008 style (for good measure)


And once again, July 18 cannot come soon enough.

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From Ah-nuld's Mr. Freeze to Ledger's uncanny Joker

Let's face it Batman, we make better kid action figures than movies.

Remember the days when George Clooney was Batman? When director Joel Schumacher had actually descended the Batman movie franchise into a campier universe than the 1960s sitcom starring Adam West?

Batman, the most twisted noble hero of comic lore had become a terrible joke (rather ironic considering his arch nemesis, yes?). The franchise was raking in big name stars like the Governator, Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, and so on, but these actors were playing CARTOON characters, not the deeply disturbed personas created in the shadowy comic. Don't even get me started on the dialogue of those movies. Ick.

So many of us utterly lost all faith in the Batman franchise, when it once held so much hope. It almost seems like Alicia Silverstone and Chris O'Donnell were so embarrassed they went into hiding.

But then Batman began, again.

The joke, it seems, was on us. Or atleast, Joel Schumacher's vision of a Gotham City that looked more like it had come from The Matrix.

So here we are, nearly 2 weeks from the release of "The Dark Knight." And we're talking about how Heath Ledger's re-invented Joker is the most brilliant chaos to ever fire a bazooka on a big screen. He's an atomic bomb of a character that quite literally surprised everyone who knew him mostly as "that aussi who played a homosexual in a controversial cowboy movie" (Brokeback Mountain).
There's even Oscar talk.

Suffice it to say, we've come a long, long way from Poison Ivy's cringing persona in Batman & Robin.

There really isn't even a point to this particular blog, other than the fact that July 18 can't come soon enough. And I'm glad the past is behind us.

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Monday, April 7, 2008

We're not alone: Dawes endorses Dent

Well, she didn't pledge her undying devotion to me, but beggars can't be choosers. Maggie Gyllenhall (as the new and mind-meltingly lovely Rachel Dawes) announced today her support for the Harvey Dent campaign.

Considering Bruce Wayne's modest infatuation with this fine work of woman, I have to wonder if this could cause any complications with Dent's future. Perhaps it may lead to a situation where he is forced to bear us another side of himself, one the citizens of Gotham City haven't seen before? I suppose we'll see.

And hey Maggie, listen. If things don't work out with this bozo...seriously, you have my number.

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Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Gotham Times, Bringing You Tomorrow's News


After endorsing Mr. Dent in his campaign to clean up Gotham last week, our Scene & Heard offices have been absolutely FLOODED with campaign propaganda and press materials from Dent's team. Posters, buttons, stickers. The whole cow and a carton of milk, if you will. We actually have Mercury employees trying to hop their carcasses on our Save Gotham bandwagon and clawing some of these Dent items from our possession (someone tell them to follow reality's campaigns please. We got the comic book elections covered, thank you very much!)

Well today, a new newspaper was brought to my attention, and I'm gonna send them my resume off to them today, see if they could use an entertainment writer or promotions guy. I'd be happy to help Dent in his bid to clean Gotham up! Not to mention, I'd do anything to see more of Heath Ledger's Joker right now. If that means walking into the storm, so be it.

So don't mind me, I'm just going to now post the trailer for The Dark Knight for about the 3rd time I've done on this blog now.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Join the good fight!


If you're a local regular joneser here at Scene & Heard, it's likely you're in the know that Bill Clinton is coming to Pottstown tomorrow to ramble on about the dark lord Hillary. In which case, there's no better time than now to endorse our favorite candidate currently in the running.

Obama is pretty cool, but we're pushing our chips in for someone with a little more brass in his buttons. The whole of us here at Scene & Heard HQ spent about 2 hundredths of a second who is right to clean this place up. To re-build America, we look to Gotham. And Harvey Dent is the man who is going to take it back. Do you believe in Harvey Dent? We do. Check the linkage for more info-age.


JOIN THE FIGHT! Vote for Harvey Dent when the time comes. Just go to your favorite local movie theatre on July 18 and buy as many tickets to The Dark Knight as you can afford!

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