Well FX's wildly popular Nip/Tuck returned last night with the first of eight episodes and did not disappoint! If you haven't yet watched, check out the episode guide here before reading this http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck/


Sorry, FX doesn't show entire episodes, bummer.


I would've never believed that so much excitement/drama could be squeezed into an hour-long episode (with commercials too). Actually, the show went a few minutes over, maybe because of all the self-promoting that was going on during commercial breaks. If you tuned in last night you got to see familiar vixen Kimber (Kelly Carlson) undertake hostessing duties before the episode began (still as gorgeous as ever Kimber).


The show kicked-off with the requisite prior season review, leading up to Dr. Sean McNamara's (Dylan Walsh) stalker agent Colleen (Sharon Gless) stabbing him in the back while he was operating on his daughter, who had been in a car accident with Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) -- keeping up, so far?


Leaving the daughter on the table, Colleen managed to drag a severely weakened Sean down the hallway to another room, one that locked, of course. Ever faithful anesthesiologicst Liz walked in to find Sean's daughter in cardiac arrest, slipping on Sean's blood all over the floor. She yelled for Dr. Troy and the two of them got the daughter back under control, before Christian found the blood trail to the locked room.


In the meantime, Sean was able to get the knife and stab Colleen to death while she was trying to give him CPR before he could bleed to death.


Four months later ...


Sean's in a wheelchair and emotionally unable to get back to the operating table (as a surgeon, not a patient). So Liz offers to have her breasts reduced (what a pal), on the condition that Sean and Christian work on her together ... Sean refuses, saying his hands are not ready yet. He's currently teaching at a medical school, and, surprise, already has a young female student interested in him. Enter the 17-yr-old whizkid Indian student ... who Sean sends over to his practice to help out Christian.

While examining Liz prior to her surgery, Christian finds a lump. He goes with her to her biopsy appointment, where it's determined to be benign. Christian quips to Liz's doc about a lump he has, and -- here we go -- the doc suggests he get checked out because men die every year of breast cancer. Oh no, they're not going there with Dr. Troy -- are they?

Oh yes, they are!! We soon find out that Christian has stage 2 breast cancer -- Mr. Beautiful!! The randy one who beds everything he meets -- oh the horor! (Mind you, I'm not poking fun at breast cancer, just the cheesy way it's being handled here.)

Then in the middle of the show, I get an answer to a question that's been bugging me ever since it became fashionable to stretch your earlobes with those black discs ... low and behold a patient shows up at McNamara/Troy: "Tell us what you don't like about yourself?" the doc asks with the show's trademark line. The dude says he was thrown out of the band and needs to get a real job, taking the discs from his lobes!

Here comes the obligatory bloody surgery scene -- cutting and sewing the lobes back together again ... think about that next time you want to stretch your lobes!

In the meantime, Sean has some bonding time with estranged son/loser Matt, who is actually Christian's son. I don't have time here to go back and explain all of this, you'll just have to trust me. Anyway, Matt has decided to go pre-med; Sean's so proud. Really? After his drug-addled life, Matt gets to become a doc? Yeah, we'll see ...

Up next, Sean takes a depressed Christian to a bar where they -- wait for it -- quickly pick up two chicks and go back to their place for the requisite sex scene -- and this one included -- ready? -- wheelchair sex!

Summing it all up, Christian asks Liz to take care of Wilbur if anything happens to him, she agrees; Sean goes to Colleen's memorial service and sees him in the coffin while she hovers nearby (it's a dream) and Christian undergoes breast removal surgery, as Sean promises to rebuild it for him ... oh, and Sean wakes from his dream and walks!! It's a miracle!

Overall, a fine episode from this way over-the-top-show!! Can't wait for the other seven episodes which will bring back Julia and her lover (Portia de Rossi); Kimber and her daughter w/Matt, Jenna, and it looks like lesbo Liz and Christian are going to hook up(?)!

Stay tuned ...