Yeah, it's back!! As has become the norm for January, Fox unleashes its ratings bohemuth American Idol! America's best/worst will be showcased for two hours tonight and tomorrow night in what has become a household ritual for me. I just LOVE th auditions!! There isn't anything funnier on TV. From the horrible contestants (who have to have some inkling how BAD they are), to the judges' expressions, as well as the comments, and Paula's mindless gazing, the audition process is just one huge laugh-fest for me!

Anyway, for my buddy Crazy Eddie (who hangs on every musical moment), the fun starts tonight at 8 and continues Wednesday, same time, same place!
http://www.americanidol.com/

And, as if anything else on TV tonight matters, here's the rest:

On CBS at 9 it's another new episode of their fledgling hit The Mentalist. Check in to see sexy Simon Baker work his mental magic to solve another case.
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/the_mentalist/

NBC presents episode two of the Biggest Loser: Couples from 8-10.
http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/

90210 continues to assault mindless brains on the CW at 8 p.m.
http://www.cwtv.com/shows/90210

Over on Bravo, the Real Housewives of Ocean County will mix it up when bitchy Vicki goes to visit family.
http://www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives/season/3/

And for me, it's back under the knife at 10 on FX for Nip/Tuck. Only seven more episodes and then we get the final season -- in 2011!! Why, oh why, such a long wait -- who do they think they are, HBO?
http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck/

ONLY 8 MORE DAYS TO LOST!!

Well FX's wildly popular Nip/Tuck returned last night with the first of eight episodes and did not disappoint! If you haven't yet watched, check out the episode guide here before reading this http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck/


Sorry, FX doesn't show entire episodes, bummer.


I would've never believed that so much excitement/drama could be squeezed into an hour-long episode (with commercials too). Actually, the show went a few minutes over, maybe because of all the self-promoting that was going on during commercial breaks. If you tuned in last night you got to see familiar vixen Kimber (Kelly Carlson) undertake hostessing duties before the episode began (still as gorgeous as ever Kimber).


The show kicked-off with the requisite prior season review, leading up to Dr. Sean McNamara's (Dylan Walsh) stalker agent Colleen (Sharon Gless) stabbing him in the back while he was operating on his daughter, who had been in a car accident with Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) -- keeping up, so far?


Leaving the daughter on the table, Colleen managed to drag a severely weakened Sean down the hallway to another room, one that locked, of course. Ever faithful anesthesiologicst Liz walked in to find Sean's daughter in cardiac arrest, slipping on Sean's blood all over the floor. She yelled for Dr. Troy and the two of them got the daughter back under control, before Christian found the blood trail to the locked room.


In the meantime, Sean was able to get the knife and stab Colleen to death while she was trying to give him CPR before he could bleed to death.


Four months later ...


Sean's in a wheelchair and emotionally unable to get back to the operating table (as a surgeon, not a patient). So Liz offers to have her breasts reduced (what a pal), on the condition that Sean and Christian work on her together ... Sean refuses, saying his hands are not ready yet. He's currently teaching at a medical school, and, surprise, already has a young female student interested in him. Enter the 17-yr-old whizkid Indian student ... who Sean sends over to his practice to help out Christian.

While examining Liz prior to her surgery, Christian finds a lump. He goes with her to her biopsy appointment, where it's determined to be benign. Christian quips to Liz's doc about a lump he has, and -- here we go -- the doc suggests he get checked out because men die every year of breast cancer. Oh no, they're not going there with Dr. Troy -- are they?

Oh yes, they are!! We soon find out that Christian has stage 2 breast cancer -- Mr. Beautiful!! The randy one who beds everything he meets -- oh the horor! (Mind you, I'm not poking fun at breast cancer, just the cheesy way it's being handled here.)

Then in the middle of the show, I get an answer to a question that's been bugging me ever since it became fashionable to stretch your earlobes with those black discs ... low and behold a patient shows up at McNamara/Troy: "Tell us what you don't like about yourself?" the doc asks with the show's trademark line. The dude says he was thrown out of the band and needs to get a real job, taking the discs from his lobes!

Here comes the obligatory bloody surgery scene -- cutting and sewing the lobes back together again ... think about that next time you want to stretch your lobes!

In the meantime, Sean has some bonding time with estranged son/loser Matt, who is actually Christian's son. I don't have time here to go back and explain all of this, you'll just have to trust me. Anyway, Matt has decided to go pre-med; Sean's so proud. Really? After his drug-addled life, Matt gets to become a doc? Yeah, we'll see ...

Up next, Sean takes a depressed Christian to a bar where they -- wait for it -- quickly pick up two chicks and go back to their place for the requisite sex scene -- and this one included -- ready? -- wheelchair sex!

Summing it all up, Christian asks Liz to take care of Wilbur if anything happens to him, she agrees; Sean goes to Colleen's memorial service and sees him in the coffin while she hovers nearby (it's a dream) and Christian undergoes breast removal surgery, as Sean promises to rebuild it for him ... oh, and Sean wakes from his dream and walks!! It's a miracle!

Overall, a fine episode from this way over-the-top-show!! Can't wait for the other seven episodes which will bring back Julia and her lover (Portia de Rossi); Kimber and her daughter w/Matt, Jenna, and it looks like lesbo Liz and Christian are going to hook up(?)!

Stay tuned ...

Trying to make up for lackluster ratings from TV's traditional "new season" back in September/October ... the networks are offering lots of new programming this January. I'll try to highlight as much as possible here, but the next two weeks are going to be murder!


McNamara/Troy returns tonight!

Starting tonight, we've got the premiere of Scrubs on a new network. Yes, the medical-based sitcom is jumping ship from NBC to ABC beginning at 9 tonight with 2 back-to-back episodes.

The Biggest Loser: Couples debuts a new season over on NBC with a two-hour premiere beginning at 8 p.m. Just in time to make us all feel guilty about all those holiday treats!

The Mentalist returns with an all new episode at 9 p.m. on CBS. Jane quite the CBI to follow lead on Red John. I'll be tuning in ...

90210 returns to the CW (does anyone care? Even I'm giving up on this one) at 8 p.m., when Annie overhearsa phone call that raises suspicions.

As mentioned in the prior post -- VH1 offers up the debut episodes of Confessions of a Teen Idol at 9, followed by Brett Michael's Rock of Love Bus at 10.

I'll be taping the Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo at 10 p.m. Tonight the wives get catty at the race track!

Because the crux of my evening will be the season premiere on FX of one of my Top 5 TV Shows of 2008 -- Nip/Tuck! Tonight picks up where we left off last season with Dr. Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh) getting stabbed in the back, literally, by his stalking, murderous agent played by Sharon Gless! Apparently, the dashing and promiscuous Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon, come to Mama!) will arrive in time to save his life ... thus keeping him around for the next 7 episodes!!


The Dudes from Pineapple Express

But if you can't find anything worth watching, hit your local DVD store and rent a copy of Pineapple Express, out new today! It's the latest from Judd Apatow (40 Year Old Virgin, Superbad) and stars Seth Rogan and James Franco as a couple of stoners getting into various mishaps. I haven't seen it, but I plan to. It looks funny.

Elfman's Favorite TV Shows of 2008

5) The Mentalist
Okay its not Masterpiece Theater, but I really like this show.The Mentalist is pure entertainment. It's mindless TV, but it's good Mindless TV.
Forget the dark sub plot and comparisons to USA's Psyched . The Mentalist delivers an hour of neatly wrapped crime solving suspense, but with a bit of a twist. Simon Baker (The Guardian) plays Patrick Jane, a former phony psychic who now works for the CBI (California Bureau of Investigation) now using only his observational skills to assist the team in solving murder cases. The show goes a long way on the charisma of Baker and a stellar cast including Robin Tunney (Prison Break). An hour of polished crime drama. Deep but not too Deep.



4) Mad Men
No other television show in recent memory has been so critically acclaimed (if viewer hungry), then Mad Men. And it has the Emmy and Golden Globe Awards to back this up. Madmen explores the deceptive and twisted world of power advertising in the 1960's. It follows the high pressure life of Don Draper, the best rep at Sterling Cooper, and certainly one of the best on Madison Avenue. Don, among others has some dark secrets in his past however. The show is a slow moving character study of successful but misguided troubled people and it sucks you into their lives on a weekly basis. Jon Hamm, Elizabeth Moss, John Slattery, and January Jones head up a cast that defines excellence. It is also interesting to see how many things have changed for the better since the 60's when you see all the inequality for women, blacks and gays of the period. Another sign of the times is the amount of drinking on the job, constant smoking by everyone in the cast and even littering.



3) Brothers and Sisters
Want to feel better about your own screwed up dysfunctional extended family for at least one hour a week? Then you must tune in to ABC Sunday Nights at 10 for the very entertaining Brothers and Sisters. The prime time sudser follows the lives of The Walker Clan, led by intrusive, but loving matriarch Nora Walker (Oscar and Emmy Winner Sally Field). The death of William Walker leaves the family to deal with the matter of running the family winery and the discoveries of all his extramarital affairs and indiscretions. Seems there is always a new Walker sibling showing up at the door step.
The plots are well written and finely polished for a soap covering the gambit of soap storylines including politics, addiction, gay marriage, and forbidden love..This show should be sponsored by Pepsid AC because I don't know how any of them get through a family dinner without sever indigestion.
Besides Field the cast includes seasoned professionals Rob Lowe, Colista Flockhart and Rachel Griffiths.



2) Raising the Bar
I accidentally caught this show while channel surfing on Monday night and am extremely glad I did. From Emmy winning producer Steven Bochco(NYPD Blue), Raising the Bar follows a group of young public defenders in their daily lives and courtroom battles for the underdog with the powerful DA. Each week offers a gripping hard hitting drama but with a lot of heart there too. It stars Mark-Paul Gosselear (NYPD Blue, Saved by The Bell) as Jerry Kellerman, one of the most idealistic of these young attorneys who leaves no stone unturned for the rights of his clients. He has become one of the finest young actors on television today. His hair, however will remain a moot point. The superb cast is rounded out by Gloria Reuben (ER), Jane Kaczencrek (Malcom in the Middle) and Teddy Sears (One Life to Live).



1) Bravo Network
There's a new melting pot in America and it's right here on Bravo TV. No other network has ever assembled such an eclectic group of diverse interesting characters. How can you not be intrigued by the rich and powerful, sometimes back-stabbing women of the Real Housewives series, notably Nene (Atlanta) and Vicki (Orange County)? And how about Jeff Lewis of Flipping Out, who has raised OCD to an art form?
Bravo didn't invent reality TV, but they sure perfected it with shows like Millionaire Matchmaker and Top Design. But nowhere is this more evident then in the Network's two most successful shows, Project Runway and Top Chef. These shows take you behind the scenes of the competitive worlds of chefs and upcoming designers and their claw to the top. The judges are smart, tough and funny with Chef Tom Colicchio on Chef and Michael Cors doing the honors on Runway. They've got eye candy too with Top Chef's food-tasting temptress Padma and Runway's Heidi Klum, the queen of Victoria's Secret. There's also father figure and style mentor Tim Gunn, who has become a superstar in his own right from the designing show.
And how can you forget some of the contestants. There was the constant back-stabbing between Betty and Marcel on Top Chef season Two. Some of the chefs even went as far as to try to scalp Marcel during a night of drinking. And how about the knife wielding road runner Hung, from season 3?
Runway has its favorites too. There was season 4 winner Christian, who showed superstar designing talent and coined the phrase "That's Fierce". And the constant whining and underhandedness of style princess Kenley from last season. Bravo for me is Must Watch TV.

My Top 5
I don't know why I've been agonizing over this, maybe because it seems so final ... here it is ... My Top 5 TV Shows of 2008:



5. Sons of Anarchy (F/X)
This is the only "new" show to make my list, and for good reason. When I first read about it in TV Guide, it was heavily compared to the Sopranos. As a fan of the latter, I had to check SOA out. And I wasn't disappointed! Starring Brit export Charlie Hunnam (another reason I wanted to watch), Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal (in a stunning, career-reviving performance), the show centers around the lives of a close-knit motorcycle club operating in Charming, a fictional town in the San Joaquin Valley in Northern California. The club specializes in running guns and ammo around the country and look-out if you decide to get in their way! Well-written and even more well-acted, this show easily fills the void left by my favorite Jersey gangsters. I only wish it were on HBO or another pay channel where it could get real nasty. Who knew Peg Bundy could be so tough?



4. nip/tuck (F/X)
It was early this past year when we last saw Drs. Sean McNamara and Christian Troy, but they'll always be close to my heart (and I'm sooo looking forward to the eight new episodes starting in January!). The show, originally set in Miami, moved last season to Hollywood and the already over-the-top shenanigans got even higher. Dylan Walsh's McNamara became a consultant on Hearts and Scalpels, a show loosely based on his own practice; dated a starlet with an eating disorder (doesn't everybody in H'wood?) and was stalked by his murderous agent (Sharon Gless, was that Cagney or Lacey?). While the hottest Doc on TV (McDreamy and McSteamy can't compare), with the biggest libido, Julian McMahon's Troy continued to bed everybody - oh and unintentionally (??) threw one of his problematic conquests off a roof to her death. Bye-Bye Gina! Nip/tuck is cheese at its best, I absolutely love it! Who knows ... maybe the Carver will return next season ... now that would make my New Year!



3. The Shows of Bravo
The Elfman and I totally agree on this one! Thinking about my Top 5, I realized I watch a lot of Bravo! He put it better than I ever could, but here's my rundown starting with the show that put Bravo on the map - Inside the Actors Studio. Though not in any permanent time slot, I still look for it on a regular basis and not for the guests. I find host James Lipton fascinating! Remember he made my most fascinating list last month, and for good reason. If you can, check out his book - Inside, Inside - you'll see what I mean. If you're a regular reader of this blog you already know that I love Project Runway, Top Chef and all the Real Housewives. But I also make time for Million Dollar Listing (Chad, get a real hairdo dude!), Tabitha's Salon Takeover (someone's gonna kill that woman), Sheer Genius (Kim Vo - WTH?), The Rachel Zoe Show (Brad, grow a pair) and Flipping Out (Jeff Lewis, don't ever change man). Looking to 2009, I can't wait for these shows to return, with the exception of Project Runway, of course, who's move to Lifetime is still being held up in court. So I say Bravo to Bravo, my favorite Guilty Pleasure!



2. Torchwood
Torchwood is a British science fiction drama that deals with the machinations and activities of the Cardiff branch of the fictional Torchwood Institute. An anagram of Doctor Who, from which this show is spun, Torchwood delves into darker subject matter and is also sexier and adult oriented. Starring the dashing John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness, a man who can't die, the team deals mainly with incidents involving extraterrestrials and time- and universe-travel. A little cheesy, but that's how I like my Sci-Fi, Torchwood got even better in its second season. Although not currently airing on BBC America, the show can be found on DVD. Try Netflix.



1. LOST
Is anyone surprised that this made my No. 1? Ever since Oceanic Flight 815 crashed on a supposedly deserted island on September 22, 2004, my TV world has never been the same. After watching the first three episodes, I was, well, lost! And I haven't found my way back yet, although last season really pulled out all the stops. What other show could possibly end their season by moving - yes, moving - an entire island? Season 3 ended with us finding out that some castaways actually got off the island and went home, while Season 4 showed us everything that led up to that fateful day, leaving us wondering what happened to everybody else? Sun lost Jin, Claire found her dead father in Jacob's cabin (and he seemed alive), Desmond found Penny, Jack and Kate left Sawyer behind and we found out, after a year of speculating, who was in the coffin. Are you LOST reading this? If so, too bad. If you haven't been watching, it's too late now unless you go back on DVD and watch from the beginning. I can't remember a show that had me debating theories with complete strangers before. And I mean heated debates. Fans of this show are passionate and for good reason. Looking forward to its return on January 21!

Honorable Mentions: Since we limited it to 5, here's the rest I considered good TV, in no particular order. Survivor: Gabon, Big Bang Theory, Dexter, Entourage, Skins (another BBC show), Doctor Who, Californication and The Graham Norton Show.

Happy New Year Everyone - don't spend tonight watching TV - go out and enjoy!

Just for fun, I couldn't resist sharing this popular youtube video with you. It's from last Friday, somewhere in Texas where news junkie Geraldo Rivera was covering Hurricane Ike. Although he's off camera when the wave hits, watch him role thru the shot, a total wipe out!! Enjoy!

Well last night I took my own advice and decided around 7:30 p.m. to click on over to the Sci-Fi Channel and check out the pilot episode of Lost. Within minutes I was totally absorbed in one of my favorite shows and, since Sci-Fi was airing four episodes back-to-back until 11 p.m., I got totally lost in Lost and missed everything else on TV last night.

It looks like regular Monday evening programming may be off my schedule until further notice ... I mean, I even missed The Hills (horror of horrors!). It never even crossed my mind until this morning. Good thing MTV will continue to air the episode only about 1,000 more times this week. (Of course, I'm kidding, The Hills has really been going down hill, pardon the pun, this season, I'm sure I didn't miss a thing.)
I did manage to pry myself off the couch close to 9 p.m. to make sure I taped Prison Break on Fox. This is one of those shows that I used to love, but like many relationships, has been going on too long. If I didn't like the characters so much, I wouldn't still watch.

Prison Break had a great premise in the first season. Like it's name, the whole show centered around Michael Scofield getting himself sentenced to the same high security prison where his brother, Lincoln Burrows, was serving on death row, awaiting his final sentence for "murdering" the vice president's brother. I write "murdering" because the guy was alive all along.

Once inside, Michael hatched an elaborate scheme to break his brother out, over the course of the season. Along the way we met various shady characters, none more ominous than Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell, who could hold his own with Hannibal Lecter any day.

Season One ended with the big break-out. Season Two followed the escapees as they ran from the feds. Season Three had most of them imprisoned in a sleazy fortress in Panama, and guess what, they broke out in the finale. So far, Season Four has the group of escapees forced back together by the government to find "Scylla" some kind of electronic black book that details the inner functions of "The Company." Oh, and Sarah (who was beheaded last season) is back, alive and well. Like I said, this show has gone on long enough, give these guys a happy ending already.

TV on DVD Tuesday: Hurray, Torchwood Season 2 comes out on DVD today. If you haven't seen Torchwood, you don't know what you're missing. I LOVE this show!! Torchwood, which I discovered on BBC America (America's fastest growing new network), is a spin-off of another popular BBC show Doctor Who. In fact, the word Torchwood is an anagram of Doctor Who (go ahead, figure it out). The show centers on Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman), who heads up the super secret government agency that finds and controls aliens coming thru a rift in time in Cardiff, UK. Darker and not nearly as whacky as Doctor Who, I always describe Torchwood as sort of X-Files meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For more information check out their BBC America website at http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/262/index.jsp

And speaking of Doctor Who, Dark Horizons says that British actor David Tennant held out for a Doctor Who movie deal when signing for a 5th season of the popular show. Can't wait for that! Also, I'm glad to see Tennant coming back as the Time Lord, when previous reports had The Doctor "changing" again with Robert Carlisle taking the lead.

House is back for its fifth season tonight at 8 p.m. on Fox, followed at 9 by Fringe, JJ Abrams new thriller about disastrous happenings in our world. I highly recommend this show. If you're a fan of Lost, Heroes or even Alias, you might want to check it out.

Big Brother 10 crowns a winner tonight at 9 p.m. on CBS -- as if anyone still cares. This was definitely the dumbest season with the dumbest contestants yet. What can I say, it's impossible to top last summer's scheming Evil Dick, his slutty daughter Danielle, and masochistic Jen.

DVR Alert: Tomorrow Ellen Degeneres gets a rare sitdown with Twilight Saga author Stephenie Meyer. They'll be discussing her latest book and final in the Twilight series "Breaking Dawn." Also, on her website, Ellen promises to try her best to get Stephenie to finish writing "Midnight Sun", the anticipated retelling of "Twilight" from Edward's point of view (all the books are written from Bella's POV). An unfinished manuscript of the book was leaked on the Internet a few weeks ago, and a devastated Stephenie has put the book on hold indefniitely. Also, hopefully, they might show a clip from the upcoming "Twilight" movie.

And for all you Nip/Tuck fans, the doctors are in. Julian McMahon and Dylan Walsh returned to the set yesterday to begin filming Season 9 of the popular F/X series. Nineteen episodes have been ordered for 2010/2011.But don't fret, there are still 8 or more unaired episodes from Season 8 that will debut sometime in January. Bad-boy Dr. Christian Troy, hey that rhymes, is one of my all-time hotties -- till we meet again ...