As last night's epsiode of Top Chef opened last night I was pleasantly surprised to see something I could get the Elfman for Valentine's Day -- that "I 'heart' Padma" T-shirt that Stefan was wearing!!

The perfect gift!! No one I know 'hearts' Padma more ... And it's conveniently available at http://www.bravotv.com/Top_Chef/season/5/index.php

On to the Quick Fire Challenge: The Return of Hung!! Just what I was waiting for. Hung was the winner of Top Chef Season 3 and, as Padma said, "The fastest chef in Top Chef history."

Hung was on hand to help Padma judge the challenge which gave the cheftestants 15 minutes (in honor of Hung's being so fast) to make something delicious from ordinary cupboard staples. Ordinary meaning Spam, garbanzo beans, canned chili, and other ingredients that our "chefs" aren't used to cooking with. You know, the crap we cook with everyday!

Our chefs buzzed around the Top Chef kitchen and here's what they came up with:

Jamie - bruschetta with garbanzo beans and smoked fish
Stefan - Baked bean soup with Spam
Hosea - Sweet pea soup with pork rinds (Hung was excited about the pork rinds!) and Spam
Fabio - Mac & cheese with roast artichokes and chili pepper
Arianne - Open-faced turkey Spam sandwich (eewww!)
Carla - Asian salmon cakes w/mayo (homemade, of course)
Rhadika - Red bean dip w/bread
Leah - Waffles, strawberries and sausage
Jeff - Baby conch (remember Hung is big on fish) w/coconut sauce

After tasting the bottom three were determinied: Leah, Rhadika and Jaime
Top 3: Hosea (pork rinds), Stefan and Jeff (conch).

Hung picked Stefan as the winner, which ticked off Hosea, because he had shared his Spam with him. Stefan got immunity.

For the Elimination Challenge the cheftestants were tasked to go Back to Basics and create a seasonal meal, family-style lunch including dessert. They drew knives dividing the teams into Pig (Jeff, Fabio, Rhadika), Chicken (Stefan, Jaime, Carla) and Lamb (Arianne, Leah, Hosea).

Back at the apartment, the teams rallied together to come up with their menus. A heated exchange erupted between Jaime and Stefan with Jaime leaving telling Stefan to do "whatever you want." This only endeared her to Stefan more, "She's so cute when she's pissed." Hey Stefan, she likes her own gender, give up already!

The following morning they packed up and headed for the Whole Foods Store, or so they thought. Actually they were taken to the country to a place called Blue Hill at Stone Barns, owned by chef Dan Barber (yeah, I know, never heard of him either). The farm specializes in growing local produce and raising their own meats, hence Pig, Chicken and Lamb. The chefs would be cooking for the farmers.

Pork team decided to roast pork loin, with sausage ravioli and a basil pesto sauce, roasted vegetables, with creme brulee for dessert.

The Chicken team made roast chicken and chicken cutlets w/tomato salad, chicken consumme and a nectarine/strawberry tart.

Team Lamb went with a duo of lamb, heirloom tomato salad, rosemary garlic potatoes, and a berry trifle.

In the kitchen, Fabio became frustrated when it took Rhadika almost an hour to peel and cook corn -- "what?" he stated. Arianne was having a hard time tying up the lamb, so Leah stepped in to do it. And the Pork team was worried about meat getting done on time.

As time was running out, Arianne declared the lamb "perfect."

At the tasting: Team Chicken's consumme came into question - why serve soup on an 85-degree day? The chicken entrees went over well and the tart was considered good.

Judges declared the lamb a "mess," saying it was sliced wrong, with the grain. They also didn't like the aggressive pesto, and found the trifle "unappealing." Uh-o.

Team Pork's dishes were overshadowed by the "overwhelming pesto", while the tomatoes were well received. Unfortunately the creme brulee was deemed too sweet.

Team Pork were the first called to Judges Table and declared the winners of the challenge. All three actually won, and were promptly sent back to retrieve the rest of the cheftestants, who weren't so lucky.

Team Pork: Jeff admitted to taking off the pig fat, which the judges didn't like because it ruined the flavor. Fabio was criticized for his overwhelming pesto. And Rhadika was asked if making the salad and dessert was enough?

Team Lamb: Judges immediately asked who made the lamb, to which Arianne owned up and admitted not knowing how to tie it up properly. So why was she the only one working on the lamb, judges asked? Head judge Tom Colicchio said her "butchering was a big problem." Hosea, who said he roasted the potatoes, admitted he could've broken down the meat. Colicchio replied he should have said something ...

After sending the chefs back to await their fate, there was some interesting discussion around Judges Table. As pointed out by the Elfman, new judge Toby Young had quite a few conflicting views with Colicchio -- all valid points. However, Colicchio stood firm saying Arianne "really did a disservice to the lamb." Padma stuck up for her, while Young said she can't cook. Padma replied that actually before he came in, she did some really great cooking. To which Young replied, that he thought they were supposed to be juding on what was done in that particular challenge! Colicchio concurred!

In the end, Team Pork was deemed safe, because Jeff recycled the green tomatoes he found on the ground, and that was a big part of what the farmers stood for.

On Team Lamb, Leah was chided for not doing enough, and Arianne was sent to pack her knives and go, calling Hosea a "wimp."


Luv this gif of Carla!

Sorry to see her go, thought she'd definitely outlast Carla (not my fave). And for Jan vs Jan, who asked, Fabio is my fave this season. I think a final 3 showdown between Fabio, Stefan and Hosea would make my Top Chef!! Also, I like the new judge. Toby Young definitely has some interesting insight, and I also like the way he debated Tom last night!

Next week it looks like the Hosea/Leah hook-up might be happening, but more importantly it's -- THE RESTAURANT WARS CHALLENGE!!!

If this is your first season, don't miss next week. The Restaurant Wars Challenge is legendary Top Chef stuff. It can literally make or break a cheftestant. Back in Season 3, Hung's only real competition, Trey, was sent packing after his disastrous turn running the restaurant.

It works like this -- the chefs are divided up into two teams, each tasked with opening their own restaurant. They are usually given an empty room and kitchen and they have to come up with a theme, menu, layout and decorations, all on a certain monetary budget. Each team must also elect a restaurant manager (Trey's downfall), head chef, server and hostess, taking some of the chefs out of their element. It's usually the most interesting episode of the season, don't miss it!!

For more on Top Chef visit http://www.bravotv.com/Top_Chef/season/5/index.php

You should all know by now what a huge fan the Elfman is of BOC (that's Blue Oyster Cult, for those of you not in the know). Well, I received an urgent message from him this weekend and had to pass it on!

"Saw this on the BOC site

"This week's three shows have all been cancelled. In an unfortunate mishap, Blue Oyster Cult lead guitarist/vocalist Donald "Buck Dharma" Roeser slipped on a flight of stairs in hisFlorida home this past Sunday evening, while carrying some packages.The fall resulted in a shoulder injury, which has forced the cancellation of the band's remaining shows for 2008.A complete and full recovery is expected."

elfman



The Elfman has spoken! Let's all wish a speedy recovery and Happy Holidays to Buck!!

In the meantime, enjoy this clip of Elfman's fave Saturday Nigth Live sketch ...
http://phillyb.vox.com/library/video/6a00c2252211cc8fdb00c225230ad58e1d.html

As promised, here's a little early Xmas present for all of you, a guest blog from the Elfman!
Enjoy



Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
Reviewed by the Elfman

"Something is happening to the children of Mars"
Yes the Red Planet is in a state of panic as Martian Children become increasingly despondent, watching meaningless videos telecast from Earth. Their children are growing up way too fast and must recapture their youth.
Solution: "We Need a Santa Claus on Mars"
Yes, "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" is hands down the worse holiday movie ever and possibly one of the worst movies of all time. Yet this 1964 film from Joseph E. Levine was a box office smash and even sparked the hit tune "Hooray for Santy Claus."
The chorus gleefully proclaims: You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S, Hooray for Santy Clause.(Were they worried that kids would be confused by the spelling?)
The plot of the movie revolves around a group of Martian leaders including the good Kimar and evil Volgar and their journey to earth where they kidnap St. Nick and two earth children who can't act their way out of a Christmas stocking.
Santa played by John Hall isn't much better and expresses joy with more of a drunken snarl than a jolly belly laugh.
Things really heat up when the Martians invade the North Pole and muscle Santa out of his workshop to the horror of all 3 of his elves.
"We Don't Want To Hurt You Santa Claus, So Come Along Quietly."
The film for the most part is a real treat for bad movie lovers of all ages.
However you might want to fast forward through seemingly endless Air Force stock footage when they are alerted of the invasion.
Classic dialogue includes a scene between Kimar and wife Lady Momar as they discuss their children's peril. (one of them played by a young Pia Zadora)
"They Eat Not, They Sleep Not"
"I Had To Use The Sleep Spray On Them Again"
But my favorite scene is when a group of Martian elite summon an 800-year-old wise man from the planet named Chochum(?). This guy is clearly dead, he just won't lay down.
Chochum advises them that "Children Need To Be Children Again" and "I've Seen This Coming For Centuries." (Then why didn't he tell anybody?)
Hopefully Martian paramedics are standing by because Chochum isn't likely to make 801.
If you love bad movies like I do this is a must for the holidays.
The Elfman has Spoken.

Thanks Elfman! For those of you curious enough, you can watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on Google Video. Follow this link
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=santa+claus+matians&emb=0&aq=f#

OK, two nights of Holiday parties in a row didn’t leave me much time to watch TV this week. I was planning on watching The Dark Knight last night (came out on DVD yesterday, for those of you who didn’t know), but got home a little too late.
I can, however, highly recommend it. I saw it in the theater and, judging it’s enormous box office take, most of you probably did too.

And speaking of The Dark Knight, the late Heath Ledger received a posthumous award over the weekend from his homeland’s Australian Film Institute for his role as The Joker. Ledger’s family was on hand to accept and paid a teary tribute to their loved one. “It’s been without a dbout the most difficult year, losing such a loved family member,” said sister Kate Ledger.
Ledger’s performance in the Batman blockbuster is regarded as having a solid chance for a posthumous Academy Award for best supporting actor.


For those of you wanting to catch up, Lost: Season 4 (last season) hit the shelves on DVD yesterday.


On TV Tonight: Don’t forget, it’s another fast-paced episode of Top Chef on Bravo at 10 p.m. Tonight the cheftestants are being pimped out to cook for judge Gail Simmon’s Bridal Shower. Should be interesting …

On Fox at 8 p.m. is the second episode of Secret Millionaire. I missed the first episode, but have since caught up and believe me, watch it with a stack of tissues. If you don’t produce tears watching this show, you’d better get to your cardiologist because your heart’s obviously turned to stone.
Along the same path as ABC’s Extreme Makeover, Secret Millionaire features a different millionaire each week, spending a week living in poverty with regular folks that have fallen on hard times – i.e. Hurricane Katrina survivors. After having their life-changing moment, the millionaires choose some lucky person at the end to award $100,000 out of their own pockets to help better their situation. Sounds cheesy, but it’s truly tear-jerking. You can watch last week’s episode and get more info here http://www.fox.com/programming/shows/new/secret_millionaire.htm

On Bravo last night, on the Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo’s original Real Housewives show), Lauri decided to stop participating in the hit show. Lauri’s son, who has been battling drug addiction for the past two seasons, was sentence to 8 months in prison and Lauri decided to take time to concentrate on her family. Good luck Lauri.
Don’t fret, Bravo has already replaced her and a new “housewife” will make her debut next week.

Lauri's on far right

In other news: The stage has been set at ABC for Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and this year’s show will feature co-host Ryan Seacrest with performances by Taylor Swift, Lionel Richie, Natasha Bedingfield, Fall Out Boy, Jesse McCartney, Ne-Yo, Pussycat Dolls, Solange, Robin Thicke, and … hold on to yourselves …. THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!! (yeah, that was meant to be sarcastic)


Oprah’s back up to 200 pounds …


And Jay Leno, who will say good-bye to The Tonight Show this spring, will be back before you know it … at 10 p.m. with The Jay Leno Show – WTH? Poor luck Conan … he’s supposed to be taking the helm of Johnny Carson’s late night extravaganza after Leno exits. With Jay on at 10 p.m., doing basically the same format, why bother to stay up after the news to see Conan?
Of course, this is only good news for David Letterman … his show on CBS in the same 11:35 p.m. time slot will undoubtedly rocket to No. 1.
Anyway, Jay’s new show will air five nights a week, just like his old one. Looks like Law & Order’s numerous serials may be taking the hit.


And in movie news: Summit Entertainment has parted ways with Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke, thereby leaving the spot wide open to direct the already slated sequel New Moon.
(Yeah, just another excuse for me to blog about Twilight, and include a sweet photo or two.)

Anyway, no one’s saying who dumped who, but Hardwicke said, “I am sorry that due to timing I will not have the opportunity to direct ‘New Moon’.”
But those supposedly in the know seem to think that due to larger budget and increased special effects needed for the flick – this one has the werewolves, afterall, Summit might have wanted to get someone with more visual effects experience. And, if you’ve seen Twilight, you have to admit, the visual effects weren’t very good. Except for the glittering Edward in the meadow, which Summit actually ponied up the money to hire George Lucas’ special effects wizards at Industrial Light & Magic to handle.
No offense to Hardwicke, I personally think she did the best she could with the budget that was afforded her.
As of last night, director Chris Weitz had been rumored to be offered the coveted job. Weitz directed last year’s holiday flop The Golden Compass. Yeah, I saw it on DVD and wasn’t impressed by the film … however, the special effects, which featured a giant polar bear fight, were top notch.
I’m a little more worried that Summit has chosen Twilight screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg to write both New Moon and Eclipse. Personally, while the movie adaptation of Twilight did follow the book (there are always changes when adapting page-to-screen), I really don’t think it hit the same emotional mark. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see …

The good news is that both stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are both signed to reprise their roles as vampire Edward Cullen and his human paramore Bella Swan.

Elfman Alert! Due to his vast TV knowledge and rather large fanbase, I’ve asked the Elfman to do a guest blog entry on his Top 5 TV shows of 2008, and he has graciously accepted. I’ll be offering that before the end of the year, along with my own picks. What have been your faves? or even your Worsts? Let me know along with a brief reason why, and you might see it here …

Also, the Elfman will be offering up his pick for Worst Christmas Movie ever – and believe me, it’s a real stinker – Chochem has spoken …

The Angels are Back for the Holidays
Gentlemen, buckle your seat belts and start your engines …. Tonight’s the night you’ve been waiting all year for.Yes, that’s right, Christmas is coming early – as in ABC’s 10 p.m. presentation of The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show! I don’t remember where, but I did read that demographically, this show is second only to the Superbowl in male viewership ratio.
And all your faves will be there and barely dressed – Heidi Klum, Karolina Kurkova, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosia, Miranda Kerr, etc. (honestly, where do they get these names?) with special musical guest Usher for us ladies to gawk at.
And ladies, while watching this show with your significant other tonight, keep in mind that one of the models said that those “wings” they wear are no picnic, with some weighing up to 30 lbs.! Yeah, they totally have my sympathy (not)!

Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel Gets Its Wings!

Unfortunately for the Elfman, this happens to be the same time as Bravo’s all new Top Chef (will you choose Padma over the Angels?). Tonight the contestants take over the Today Show for a cooking challenge to be guest judged by that fancy footer from this past season of Dancing with the Stars, Rocco DiSpirito. And I’m with you Pat Pat – where is Ted? I so miss my Queer Eye guy! Elfman informs me that judge Gail Simmons won’t be finishing the season, so I guess that requisite snarky British judge will be replacing her sometime soon. What about Anthony Bourdain too? He’s got to pop up soon.
My dream episode would feature beligerant Brit Gordon Ramsay! Just imagine him at Judges’ Table!
And Elf – don’t worry, tonight’s episode repeats at 11 p.m. right after the Angels leave the runway to go back to the North Pole.

Chef Rocco

Christmas Treats: Tonight is the first airing over on TNT of that perennial holiday favorite A Christmas Story. Can you believe I actually work with someone who hasn’t seen this one? For those of you who don’t know, it is the Christmas season in Northern Indiana and Ralphie desperately wants a genuine Red Rider BB gun under the tree. The movie revolves around this pursuit and how Ralphie tries to overcome the obstacles in obtaining this gift, mainly in the form of adults who bleat "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!"

Poor Ralphie, give the kid a break!
TNT usually airs this on a 24-hour loop Christmas Day. It airs tonight at 8 p.m. and repeats at 10. And if you haven’t seen it yet, I double dog dare you to watch!

The Double Dog Dare!

On ABC, Rudolph, Hermie and Yukon Cornelius show Santa the way on another Rankin & Bass classic – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at 8 p.m.


And the Christmas tree gets lit in New York City tonight during Christmas in Rockefeller Center live on NBC at 8 p.m. Teen queen Miley Cyrus will be on hand to provide some holiday tunes.

It's Miley!
OK, so don't kill me for posting a pic of this pixie ...

Not a holiday special, The Grammy Nominations Concert fills the viod between Rudolph and Victoria’s Secret at 9 p.m. on ABC. I don’t know if they’re actually going to announce the nominees or not, but it features performances by Celine Dion, BB King, John Myer, Taylor Swift and the Foo Fighters.