Look, over there, a shiny object!

Mmmmm, Pretty.....

And so it goes with this nation's ability to keep focused on what's important.

Yes, gasoline prices are down. So, obviously, they will stay down forever, never to rise again.

Yes, and monkeys will fly out of my butt.

With the drop in gasoline prices, Americans and their famously long-sighted view of the world and the events to come, are dropping hybrid cars just as fast.

As this Los Angeles Times article notes, sales of hybrid vehicles are about as hot as my salsa dancing moves on "Overweight Clumsy Bald Guy Night" on Dancing with the Stars.

Not that I thought I would ever write these words, but I feel sorry for executives in Detroit.

After years of insisting that Americans only want big, gas-guzzling cars, we prove them right with something as simple and transitory as low gas prices, just as the government is forcing them to come out with more fuel efficient vehicles.

Why is saving money on gas only popular when it's wildly overpriced? Are we really that stupid?

Wait! Don't answer that. Your answer will depress me.

It seems we really are that fickle and short-sighted. Now granted, so few people are buying ANY kind of new car these days that hybrids shouldn't feel slighted.

In fact recent articles have suggested that buying a new car is a better deal than buying a used one, because so many people worried about the economy think they can't afford a new car and thus, are driving up prices in the used car market.

But the poor hybrids are suffering out of proportion to their share of the overall market it seems.

"In July, U.S. Toyota dealers didn't have enough Prius models in stock to last two days, and many were charging thousands of dollars above sticker price for the few they had.Today there are about 80 days' worth on hand, and dealers are working much harder -- even with the help of $500 factory rebates -- to move the egg-shaped gas-savers off lots," the L.A. Times reported.

Not that my beloved Hondas are doing any better: "This month, Honda is offering $2,000 in cash, financing and leasing incentives to buyers of the formerly sold-out Civic hybrid," the Times reports.

"The automakers are in the situation of needing to pacify politicians that are in the position to bail them out with expensive fuel-efficient cars," said Rebecca Lindland, auto analyst with IHS Global Insight. "But shouldn't it be more about satisfying the needs of the American consumer?"

Well yes, that would be true if the American consumer were not such an IDIOT!

Let's remember the American consumer once stood in line to buy pet rocks.

The more important thing to remember here is we need to wean ourselves off foreign oil in the same way the junkie needs to break his heroin habit. The fact that the dealer lowers the price when you're in rehab is no reason to pick up the habit again.

But some of those consumers are smart.

Consider the case of Chad Gallagher.

A lawyer in Berkeley, Chad "took advantage of a Presidents Day promotion, plus a healthy measure of dealer desperation, to buy a fully loaded Prius last month for $5,000 under sticker price.'We got the touring package, leather seats, navigation, Bluetooth, everything,' Gallagher said. 'I think they were just happy to sell the thing.'

LOOK! DOWN ON THE GROUND, IT'S A SNAKE! IT'S A MONSTER! IT'S SUPER-SNAKE!!!

You have to love this story, because it reminds us that this earth on which we're riding is not a static thing (not to be confused with static cling).

And besides, how many times in your life do you get to type the phrase "Super Snake?"

Here we see a Los Angeles Times photo of a python, there to show you the scale of what he (or she) is crawling on.

It is a fossil of a vertebrae of a previously undiscovered species of snake justly named "Titanoboa."

According to this story in the Los Angeles Times, recently discovered remains of Titanoboa indicate it weighed 2,500 pounds, was as long as a school bus and could swallow a crocodile.

This, indeed, makes an anaconda, currently the world's largest snake, look like a red wiggler.

Found in an open coal pit in Columbia, where a substance, when burned, may just ensure that some other species we now know will become extinct, Titanoboa required a warmer climate than we have today.

As the Times reported: "Because snakes and other reptiles are coldblooded -- technically, poikilothermic -- they rely on heat in the environment. Generally, the farther from the equator that a reptile lives, the smaller it has to be.Extrapolating from the energy requirements of modern snakes, the team estimated that Titanoboa required an average temperature of 86 to 93 degrees Fahrenheit, somewhat higher than the modern average of about 83 degrees in coastal Colombia."

So there you have it folks, everything old, and by this we mean REALLY OLD, is new again. The more coal we burn, the warmer we make the earth, the more likely that our great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren will be fending off attacks by giant snakes.

Just one more reason to do what we can to stop global warming or, as my friend Sue Fordyce at the Schuylkill River National Heritage Area suggested at the end of one of my previous posts, "climate change."

Whatever you want to call it, I call the threat of bringing back the era of giant snakes one more reason to lower your carbon foot-print, although it would make a great summer blockbuster...paging Joel Schumacher!

Sometimes, a full bladder is more important than a full tank.

As all five of my regular blog readers have no doubt surmised, I recently took a vacation and, like any flag-waving American, I drove.

And before you roll your eyes and ask yourself, Oh God, is this going to be another blog where he waxes romantic about his beloved hybrid, allow me to answer you -- yes!

The trip to Roanoke takes, on average, six hours, most of them spent on the macadam roller coaster known to federal officials as I-81.

And needless to say, I was watching the mileage gauge like I work for Consumer Reports, an obsession which other occupants of the car have begun to worry might keep me from paying any to most important traffic regulations.

I've been experimenting with different speeds and, as my lovely wife Karen theorized, it turns out running the Civic at something more than 55 miles per hour actually improves the mileage over the long haul. The designers must be realists.

No slouch in the "my theory" department, my panicked theory that the mileage would improve in the summer when the engine did not have to warm up, has also proven true.

Armed with this knowledge and a featherweight foot, we achieved admirable but unremarkable mileage on the way down, but climbed near a personal best on the return trip.

I gazed in gleeful amazement as the mileage calculator climbed closer to 50 miles per gallon.

Have I mentioned that my life loves Diet Pepsi? She does.

She drinks it in the morning the way I drink coffee, which is to say a lot.

(This is not the place to discuss how my coffee mugs are reusable and her plastic bottles -- all recycled -- are not, but rest assured, this discussion has occurred.)

Anyhooo, as my feverish eyes gazed at the gauge and my sweaty hands (made so by my refusal to use the air conditioning) struggled to keep a grip on the wheel, we reached 49.9 miles per gallon.

And then, disaster struck in the form of too much Diet Pepsi and a failure to make my passengers don adult diapers as if we were astronauts driving all night bent on breaking a love triangle.

"But I'm almost at 50" I told my squirming, cross-legged betrothed. "Once we get off the highway, the whole thing we be fukakta," an Indonesian word I learned which I'm told means "slightly askew."

But mother nature, not to mention the mother of my child, is not to be denied and so we pulled into the Liberty station and my average was shot.

It got close once back on the highway, but we had already decided to pull off to see Luray
Caverns and the ride over and back over the Blue Ridge, it really is just this RIDGE in the middle of everything, made 50 mpg just a dwindling dream.

But hey, more than 400 miles later, I'm still tooling around Pottstown on the same 11 gallons I pumped down the hill from my father-in-law's house, so I'm not complaining.

By the way, Luray Caverns, said to be the largest on the East Coast, are truly a wonder to behold, made more magnificent by the fact that as far as I can tell, they are one of three things not threatened by global warming.

They are privately owned and therefore have just the right amount of chintzy tourist-trap crap to make me treasure it as an example of pure Americana, so I dutifully bought a T-shirt and my son a solar-powered key chain that blinks his name without batteries.

Laugh if you will, but this place has a "stalactite organ" that plays several times a day. In your FACE Crystal Caverns!.

Anyway, there's a long-overdue shout-out to bring up while I'm writing about driving.

I have a loyal reader and frequent correspondent in Thomas Mounce of Birdsboro. We first met over the 2004 election in which his candidate won the election but I won the "who will be the most unpopular president in history?" contest.

And whenever I pat myself on the back for buying a hybrid before the tax break expired, he writes to remind me that he drives a Volkswagen diesel that makes like a million miles per gallon.

OK, I exaggerate, but he is as devoted to his automotive choice as I am to mine. And while I have my doubts about diesel fuel because of its high particulate matter content, there is something to be said for the stuff.

So it is with great pleasure that I call your attention to this blog entry from the Los Angeles Times hawking the wonders of the new generation of diesels with which the Europeans will soon flood our markets.

While it notes that recent surges in diesel prices make it a less attractive choice than it was just a year ago, it points out that Honda has a diesel in development that could reach 60 mpg! Might still make sense, even if diesel prices stay high.

Hmm, I would definitely have to ban Diet Pepsi, or fluids of any kind, if I want to compete with that next time I drive to Roanoke.