I was perusing around on some fellow blogs and came across a post that compared Fight Club's illustrious Tyler Durden to American Psycho's Patrick Bateman. And my first thought was, which one of these dudes would kick the innards out of the other, and would the results change if they were given chainsaws and dynamite?

So this week, is the week of the fiercest battles to never happen, because they would easily shred the fabric of the universe to scraps, and that would be the end of us all. Screw Alien Vs Predator! That's toddler fodder now. We'll cross parallel universes, and pit savage beasts from different dimensions against one another and offer no mercy. No one is safe! Leave your thoughts on who takes all the chips in the comments.

5. BATTLE OF THE OBLONG HEADS
E.T. Vs. Johnny 5 (the vengeful version from Short-Circuit 2's climax)
--officiated by Super Mario
While both are loveable creatures of the 80s, this is not a fight to miss. Neither one wants to fight, but on the inside, they are pure-bred war machines. ET is an alien, so he obviously wants to eat people. And Johnny was created to be a tactical war machine, hellbent on defeating all enemies in his path. One heals cuts with the touch of his glowing finger, the other has a nuclear cannon on his shoulder. When push comes to shove, this one could be the nastiest fight ever recorded.

4. RUMBLE IN THE BRONX
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Vs. The Cloverfield Monster (officiated by Rudy Guillini circa 2001)
Both hate people, but both want to make loud noises and be responsible for earth crunching explosions. One is a cartoony ghost, one is a wierd ugly thing. Both are crazed lunatics. Evacuate New York now, because Godzilla and Mothra's destruction in Tokyo is gonna look like a child's whimper compared to the havoc that's about to wreaked.

3. THE GREATEST BATTLE OF ALL TIME
Marty McFly & The Doc Vs. Neo & Morpheus Vs. The Wyld Stallyns
TWO Keanu Reaves in one fight? Can you say WHOA? He can! You know it's gonna get nasty. Even tho Neo and Morpheus are the most skilled fighters here, they can't travel through time like the other 2 tag teams here. The Doc and Marty seem to have the upper hand since they got a flux capacitor, quick wits, a talented guitarist, and a wild-eyed scientist in tow, but Bill & Ted have also outsmarted Satan himself before melvening Death. So the outcome is anyone's guess, and it's likely there will be a few time and actor paradoxes, so we'll all end up ceasing to exist in the end. WICKED!

2. THE FURIOUS BOUT OF THE FURRY ONES
Animal (The Muppet) Vs. The Zombie Sheep (from Black Sheep) (officiated by Mike Tyson)
Essentially this becomes a battle between Jim Henson's workshop and Peter Jackson's workshop. We pit the wild zaney eyed-albeit child friendly-mental institute escapee nut job against sheep that eat people. Hyper-Rabies vs. ADHD. Yikes!

1. HELL ON MIDDLE EARTH
Hillary Clinton Vs. The Dark Lord Sauron (officiated by Eric Cartman of South Park)
One of the front-runners for our next presidential election vs. the Adolf Hitler of Middle Earth. I would never underestimate what either of these creatures are capable of, and would advise everyone to fear the absolute worst with these two glaring into each others eyes. Evil has a new name.

While it's already been announced that Peter Jackson will produce The Hobbit films, Sam Raimi is in serious talks to take the director's chair. If this happens, that means the 2 fellas responsible for the 21st century's 2 biggest trilogies (Spiderman and Lord of the Rings) will be crossing streams for the world's return to Middle Earth for the adventures of Bilbo Baggins. Raimi would be perfect considering he can pump out exceptional blockbusters, but also dark cult classics, like 1981's Evil Dead. Sign me up for the stoked list.

Jackass 2.5 is now up for your viewing pleasure, FREE. It features left over footage from Jackass 2, as well as some new stuff. Consider it the ultimate YouTube video.

Jack White of the White Stripes recently kinda-jokingly, but not really, said The Stripes may take a cue from the post-Revolver Beatles (and XTC) by quitting touring altogether and exist only as a studio band. After they chocked up some of the coolest live sets earlier this year by playing in bowling alleys, on moving buses, and boats on the water? Don't do it Jack..

The Zeppelin reunion tour rumors continue to fly, as The Police reunion tours did exactly one year ago. But nothing is official until it is official.

Hawthorne Heights' guitarist recently passed away in his sleep, and the autopsy report indicated it was a result of accidental prescription medication interaction, and has not been ruled as suicidal or an overdose, just an unfortunate combo.

The Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame's class of 2007 has been announced. Madonna, Leonard Cohen, The Ventures, The Dave Clark Five and John Mellencamp. But... still no Stooges? Seriously guys..

And if you haven't heard, The Matrix guys are finally back in the game, with SPEED RACER. Check out the trailer here. It's dope.

After shotty drawn-out bickering over who can make a movie and who can't, New Line has come to terms with Peter Jackson to make the famed Lord of the Rings prequel, "The Hobbit" (that's the one about Bilbo Baggins, and is totally Frotto-less).

Announcement was made public today. And they have something to work for now with I Am Legend nabbing the #1 opening weekend box office in December ever last week from Lord of The Rings' "Return of the King."

But Jackson is only attached to produce, and no director has been announced. It will be a 2-movie production that will likely be shot simultaneously, much like the original trilogy was under Jackson's direction. The movies are set to release 2010 and 2011, so looks like we'll start the decade off on the right feet with film, yes? That's crazy to think about considering The Hobbit was first published 1937. My parents weren't even a glimmer in my grandparents' eyes.

Jackson was just here in Royersford 2 weeks ago filming another adaption of another popular novel, The Lovely Bones. We can't seem to get enough of this dude.

It'd be a slight slap of hypocrisy across your cheek if, I, Mr. entertainment blogger for the Merc, didn't make some kind of mention about Hollywood's recent eclipse over Royersford, with Mr. Peter Jackson bringing some camera lenses and Mark Wahlberg around and all. And I'm not much of a slapper. so...

Obviously, I'm talking about the current filming of Peter Jackson's adaption of Alice Sebold's acclaimed novel, "The Lovely Bones." Everyone around here has been abuzz with star shock and hatin' on the closed roads. But dude, the guy who made "Meet The Feebles" is right down the road! I guess he also made some lauded trilogy adaption of the Lord of the Rings too, which kind of makes him the new George Lucas. But I don't know if you ever saw that or not.

Besides "Clerks 2" taught us, "There's only one return, and it's not of The King. It's of The Jedi."

Anyway, in case you for some reason didn't know, Royersford is swarming with a little slice of Hollywood. But it won't last long, because the film crew is then off to New Zealand for filming next year. The film itself won't hit theaters until March of 2009, so sit tight Bones fans.

But, our sneaky photographer/videographer John Strickler somehow managed to grab some footage of the film being shot. So why wait till 2009?! The video is on www.pottsmerc.com if you missed it.

Speaking of Strickler, I have to tip my hat to him for the concept of the Boyertown Bear Hunt, which was a resounding success. BUT! I'd like to share with everyone that he and I were years ahead of the huntin' bears curve. Before I was even in Kindergarten, I went on a photo run with him to a local golf course where a real live furiously savage bear had run amuck onto the greens. So, while the two of us are now ineligible to win the prizes, we were hunt bears when you were still in diapers. Well, I was too, but I was hunting bears IN DIAPERS!